My journey so far...

[IMaman]

Hello lovely people

I am looking to share my story and give/get support from anyone out there who is going through a similar situation.

My husband and I have been trying for a baby for nearly two years now. Since I knew I had PCOS I went to my GP after six months of trying and was referred to our local reproductive unit. I was then put on Clomid for four months, I ovulated normally each month but we didnt get lucky.

In August 2017 we started our first round of IVF. I was a high risk for OHSS andwas monitored very closely. We had 11 eggs retrieved, 7 were mature and five fertilized. They graded all variations of B plus and minus. We had one put back in but again we were not lucky enough to get pregnant that cycle.

I always imagined that failing an IVF cycle would break me, and to be honest, it has been very hard. It's still fresh as we got the BFN at the beginning of October 2017. I have days were have no hope and I fear that all of my inevitable negativity would bring us more nativity. I feel really stuck in this loop.

I would love to hear from all you who have experienced this level of anxiety on how to manage it and keep positive.

Imaman

[Fredaflintstone]

Hi there we also had a failed cycle but then had a FET and are now expecting twins so it can happen. Wishing you lots of luck for the future xxx

[IMaman in reply to Fredaflintstone]

Hi Freda, thank you for replying to my post. Congratulations on your twins and happy and healthy nine months. What you said gives me so much encouragement. Thank you.

[Bule84]

Hie Imaman,firstly i would like to say am sorry but don't lose hope.It will happen for you one day.

[IMaman in reply to Bule84]

Hi Blue84

Thank you! Are you going through or have you been through a similar situation? The hardest thing for me is to know what I feel is normal. So many tough days...

[bibiz]

I hope that you can achieve success, you must be strong, you are a man. I have another question for you. Have you noticed a certain pattern in that when a doctor after a failure of IVF tells us that we do not need to be examined, we DO NOT BELIEVE him !!!

We go to another doctor, we start again to undergo additional examinations (and also many unnecessary ones). And while we are satisfied that another "cause of failure" is clear.

This is a paradox, is not it ??

At the usual gynecologist we are ready to shout from insult and anger that he again searches for the reason of failures and asks to make the analysis. And we are ready to carry out analyzes to the reproductive specialist, which are unnecessary for him, and these tests are worth a lot.

Why at us so ?? Is it easier for us to realize that we are doing something to solve our problem? Well, why do we think that when we do IVF for the first time, we are completely surveyed. And the more attempts we have, the more time we spend not on restoring our health, but on new surveys ?? Why do not we want to accept with our mind and heart only a sad fact that we did not get into those cherished 30-40% success.

I do not take exceptional cases, when there is a reason for additional examinations, the reason is removed and everything will be ok. But can it be a game of chance too ???

Your opinions ??? It seems to me that I can not answer myself to this question. Why can not we admit our failure. Perhaps we'd better choose the surrogate motherhood? But we again hand over the tests and go to IVF.

[E_05]

Welcome to the forum, I think you just need to allow yourself to go through the emotions of your BFN, it’s hard to get your head around but in time you will find the strength to go for another cycle. I’m sure you’ll find lots of support from everyone on here x

[IMaman in reply to E_05]

Hi E05

Thank you. I wish you luck on your journey too and hope you get you bfp soon.