New to this journey

[Archaeologist27]

Hi all,

My wife and I have been trying for over 2 years to get pregnant. We've done all the tests with our GP (SA, Bloods, Ovaries etc) all come back within normal levels. We were told we would be referred to a fertility clinic but haven't heard a thing since (this was in early February.

I'm just after some advice, how long did people wait, is there anything we can do in the meantime? My wife struggles with mental health issues and our struggles with fertility is really getting to her and all I want to do is support her, but I'm just as lost.

[Habibi87]

Hi Archaeologists27, I’m sorry to hear of what you and your wife are going through. I have read your profile and can understand why you are feeling alone as I’ve been there while struggling to conceive. You are both really young though which is incredibly helpful in this journey. Have you checked with your GP that A) they have definitely made a referral and B) which hospital have you been referred to ? If you find out point B you can give them a call to find out their waiting time. My experience is a bit different as we had all the tests done privately. I then sent them to my GP to have his opinion ( I was worried the private clinic was using sales tactics). As he couldn’t fully interpret them he got in touch with the hospital for advice and I ended up having a consultation very quickly. I don’t know if this would help your wife, but there are lots of supplements that you could both start taking and that most clinics reccomend. You are meant to take them for at least 3 months so this is something useful to do in the meantime. I also found a few sessions with a therapist very helpful in dealing with the fear of infertility and I did them together with my husband, is that something you could consider/ that your area offers for free ? Sending you strength

[Lolalules]

Hi there, I agree with Habibi especially regarding the supplements and finding which clinic you’ll be referred to as well. What I’ve found on this journey is you have to push and advocate for yourself to get things done a lot of the time! I’d also suggest reading ‘it starts with an egg’ - whilst you may not want to take all of the advice on board it’s good information and can help you adopt some measures (such as the supplements) to make you feel more in control x

[SunshineElephant]

I’m sorry to hear about your experience. I thought I would share our timeline in case it is helpful. We went to our GP in December 2021 after TTC for a year. We were referred to the hospital and had a telephone appointment in February 2022 and then a clinic appointment in July 2022. We were told we could be referred for ivf but the last test would be tube flushing to check that. Our next appointment should have been October 2022 but did not happen until December 2022 and I still had not had the tube flushing because of long delays in radiology. In December 2022 we were told by our local hospital fertility clinic that we would be referred to another clinic for ivf. The referral went in December 2022 and we had our initial appointment with them this month where they needed to repeat some tests. We have been advised that we will have another appointment in May 2023 to discuss a treatment plan but then we will need to wait for funding which will take 2-4 months. I am sharing this because I found the wait incredibly difficult and at each appoint we have been told expect to start ivf 3 months later and clearly this hasn’t happen. What I have learnt from the ivf clinic we are under now is that we could have been referred straight there from the gp rather than waiting an entire year under a different clinic so do check that.

The other thing I thought might be helpful to share for you wife is that this journey has significantly impacting my mental health too. Last year I frequently thought about dying and was constantly overwhelmed. I started seeing a fertility specialist accupuncture. I did this as some research suggests that it can increase the chances of success for ivf. However this time has actually provided and emotional outlet and someone to explore other private tests, advice around supplements and have a second opinion. I have no doubt that this has save my life. If you can afford to I would recommend considering this. You can find local practitioners here fertilitysupport.expert/

Sending you both my best wishes and strength for the rest of journey however it may look x

[Positivechangeplease]

hmm I think it didn’t take too long but I know the NHS and I think anything inside 3 months isn’t very long so you’re only really at 2 months now. If you haven’t heard by May then ask the GP where you were referred to and chase with the clinic directly

[Archaeologist27]

Thank you all for your comments and advice. It's really nice to be in a supportive community. We are both young which definitely helps, but we are also both very impatient people too and just want to be parents now.

We have an appointment on Monday with our GP to check whether the referral was made as the receptionist could find no notes that it had been which is frustrating.

I'll take your advice on board when we go to the appointment and discuss with them what supplements etc we should be on while we wait for the referral. I know there is going to be a lot of self-advocating in this journey.

I will talk to my wife about the acupuncture, that might be something worth trying.

Thank you all again for your advice and for sharing your experiences.

Love to you all.