Sensitive post - miscarriage

[Orla9298]

Sorry this is a bit graphic so don’t read if you don’t want to read about an actual miscarriage happening, but I can’t make sense of something. I’ve got myself absolutely terrified that I will never carry a pregnancy. I’m 35 and we have just suffered what I classed as our fourth miscarriage, this one being the latest at 6.5 weeks (others were 5 or 5.5 weeks). I passed the embryo tissue yesterday afternoon after a lot of pain in the morning, it came away in one piece so I rang the early pregnancy unit who said since I was due my first scan today at 8am, I should bring it in for them to confirm otherwise my pregnancy would have to be classed as a pregnancy of unknown location. Sadly the nurse confirmed that it was my pregnancy tissue so I have to still attend for the scan today to see if it is all gone. My earlier 3 losses over the last 18 months were a bit earlier so weren’t quite as obvious, just like a clotty period.

I told my mum... and she reminded me of something that has really been on my mind a lot - when I was a lot younger like 19-23 ish, we can’t actually remember when, i had the the same pain like a sudden need to go to the toilet and passed very similar tissue but double the size. Back then I had not been worried that I was pregnant, so much so that at the time I shouted my mum to the bathroom as I thought it was just something weird happening. I think at the time I thought it was a weird clot but after yesterday me and mum both think it was more likely a miscarriage of about 8 weeks and it was a lot more solid that what I passed yesterday. I was obviously very naive back then as looking back, it can only have been a miscarriage.

Sorry, it’s graphic and a weird thing to post. But my mum brought it up yesterday as she’s now really concerned that my miscarriages are all being suggested that my egg quality isn’t good enough any more... but now thinking that the same happened to me aged about 20, why even back then couldn’t I keep a pregnancy?

I’m going for the 8am scan today to confirm that all my pregnancy is gone 😢 and I’m going to tell them about it but I just can’t stop thinking that I’ll never carry if even the same happened all those years ago and has happened 4 times in the last 8 months too.

[Drives]

I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through 💔.

Sending you lots of love and share with the clinic everything you've written here x x x x

[Niki_B]

Oh hun im so sorry your going though this. I had my miscarriage 4 weeks ago at 11+2 and it was horrible. I was passing clots the size of my fist...lots of them and the amount of blood...it was just pouring out of me for 2 days. I was in hospital 2 days and the last scan I had before I went home she said she could still see a few clots in my cervix and they will pass in the coming days which they did it was only like 3 clots and not big like the others. Then 3 weeks later I had to do a pregnancy test to make sure it was negative which it was. But you probably will be fine as you were not as far along as me.

Yes very weird you think you miscarried very young...have you had all immune tests etc? You would think at 20 you would carry a baby no problems. But if it is a problem with your eggs.,,you have a lovely friend who's donated you some right? But I know you must be terrified to even use them thinking it's you. Maybe it is just a problem with your eggs hun, and these donor eggs will be absolutely fine and you will get pregnant and carry a baby fine. Again I'm so sorry your going through this, message me if you wanna chat at all. Thinking of you and sending big hugs 💗xxx

[Orla9298 in reply to Niki_B]

I’m so sorry to hear what you went through, it’s heart breaking. I haven’t bled very heavily other than an hour before I passed all the tissue, but I feel empty like period.

That’s exactly it... we only have 2 Frosties from my friend, a 4CB and a 5BB. I’m too scared to use them in case I do the same again 😢😢😢😢 if I try them and waste them i’m back at square one 😢

[Niki_B in reply to Orla9298]

That's good I'm glad to hear your not bleeding too heavily. That was so scary for me they had me in diapers 😔

Well that's great you have 2 embies. I know what you mean I have 1 embie left a day 6 5bb and I'm just honestly scared it will happen all over again. Then thats it for us if it doesnt work 😔

is there anymore tests they can carry out on you? Dont they have to investigate after 3 miscarriages? I can imagine you are feeling so scared to use those embryos. Surely there is more tests they can do for you...or maybe it is your eggs? But yes sounds like you need some tests or answers or something. But I'm so sorry you are going through this again, it's just heartbreaking 💔💗 xxx

[gattonero]

Orla, my dear❤️ I am praying for you hun

[Cinderella5]

Hey Orla, your situation sounds like it was much the same as mine! All over pretty quickly with sudden pain and a little bleeding. I had the tissue too and took it to the hospital too to confirm it was the pregnancy. I had a scan to confirm all was gone and I actually had still retained my lining and just let the pregnancy go. The hospital said I would probably bleed further but i didnt, not until I got my period 6 weeks later. Im so sorry you're going through this, its all so unfair. The only comfort to me (mine was DE from a younger girl) is that the pregnancy must have been chromosomally abnormal for the pregnancy not to proceed. I obviously cant say for sure that there is nothing wrong with you but unfortunately lots of ladies of all ages miscarry (even young girls) and it doesnt mean that they cant carry a baby! Sending you massive hugs.xxx

[MofM]

I am so sorry. I had a miscarriage at 6w+5 in January, and I know the pain, which for you must be much bigger. I am sending you a huge virtual hug xxx

On a more practical note, are you being investigated for recurrent miscarriages? You should be referred to a specialised clinic after 3 miscarriages, where they will run tests trying to understand whether you have any problem, for instance, clotting disorders.

[Orla9298 in reply to MofM]

Yes I’ve been under the miscarriage clinic had all those tests... they came back as nothing wrong... it’s hard to believe with 4 consecutive losses and probably also one 12-14 years ago

[MofM in reply to Orla9298]

What is your IVF clinic opinion? Mine suggested a few baseline investigations, which I had privately since I was at my first miscarriage (the two ectopics before not counting). I am so sorry.

[Militarywife7]

Sorry to hear this Orla, it’s heartbreaking. Sending you lots of strength ❤️ Xxx

[Hidden]

I’m really sorry for your losses and your most recent 💔 I think you are doing the right thing by telling them about your first miscarriage when you were younger. Sending you lots of hugs and you’ll be in my thoughts 💕🌈💙

I don’t have any experience of a miscarriage cos can’t offer any advice. My embryos don’t ever implant. The only one that did ended up implanting in my right tube xx

[Hidden]

I'm very sorry!!! I know the pain you must be feeling. I had a miscarriage at 6w in Mars after 3 ectopic.

I read that you're been under the m/c clinic and that all the tests came back as nothing wrong, but did they try something different like baby aspirin?

I'm currently at 4w+3 after another FET. I did have my BFP but progesterone was low, so they increased the dose (currently pessaries 200mg 3/day, oral progesterone 200mg 1/day and lubion 25 mg subcutaneous 1/day). Did they check your progesterone level?

I'm sending you a huge virtual hug and good luck for the next time!

[Clare_lou]

Orla, I'm so so sorry for e everything you're going through. It's so unbelievably cruel and heartbreaking.

I just wanted to tell you that I recently went through my third miscarriage my first happened when I was only 24. They've done all the tests on me and everything came back normal but I was terrified of miscarrying again. Anyway after failed ivf with my own eggs, and issues with my partner's sperm, we went down the double donor route and we now have the most beautiful baby boy.

I hope this doesn't upset you. I just wanted to give you some hope that things can work out after multiple early losses.

Thinking of you xxx

[Orla9298 in reply to Clare_lou]

Thank you, that gives a bit more hope. Congratulations xxx

[Hanneesweedie]

I'm so sorry for your loss 😢 I have recently been through a miscarriage (2 months ago) and I believe that I have also had a very early one (less than 5 weeks pregnant) in the last week or so, it absolutely sucks to think that the chances are that you'll go on to have a healthy pregnancy and then it doesn't happen! Would you mind if I messaged you regarding tissue? I know that probably sounds like an absolutely bizarre request and I completely understand if that's something you don't want to talk about! Some backstory though (so I sound a bit less crazy), I passed a very small piece of something last time which I'm assuming was the fetus and the same has happened this time, that's why I'm thinking this must be a miscarriage rather than a threatened miscarriage/other cause of bleeding. So sorry if this is weird as hell and absolutely don't want to upset you, so please feel free to disregard!

[tiger-cub]

Oh dear I’m so sorry

Sending u loads of hugs

[Missy_22]

I have had five miscarriages from 5 weeks to 23 weeks all so hard and sad. Look after yourself. Do get seen by a miscarriage specialist. They can advise you. You might need clexane or aspirin next time xxx

[Orla9298 in reply to Missy_22]

Sorry to hear about your miscarriages 😢

I’ve had all the level one miscarriage tests and been on clexane and steroids too... nothing helped yet.

I have a consultation with another miscarriage consultant 8am tomorrow... haven’t been able to focus on preparing questions yet xx

[Missy_22 in reply to Orla9298]

Good luck for tomorrow. I’m sure you will have questions as you go. Maybe it is egg quality. Take care. And remember your not alone going thought this xxx

[Hidden]

Hi Orla,

I am so sorry about this... It's so painful...

And sorry for replying late but I remember reading somewhere that they can use the pregnancy tissue for some test, perhaps you might know whether there was some problem with the embryo and get some answers? They might be able to tell you more.

Wishing you the best with all my Hearts xxxx