A rollercoaster of emotions again!

[Haylz33]

Hi everyone,

Not posted in a while but myself and my husband have just been through the first set of tests after being referred to the fertility clinic at our local hospital. He has a normal sperm count, ive had blood tests for rubella immunity, to check my thyroid and ovulation, early menopause as well as swabs for STD's. Today I had a

Hysterosalpingogram (HSG) Test for Blocked Fallopian Tubes (not a nice procedure at all). All results have come back fine so far. I have an ultrasound booked on Thursday to check my womb. The nurse said after today's appointment to book my fertility appointment (I haven't yet spoken face to face with anyone since being referred by my doctor) I had an initial phone call appointment to get all these tests booked. The nurse said to book my fertility appointment as there is a long waiting list. Now that's all I can think about "long, how long, weeks, a month, months? More waiting. 2 years we have been trying, I had a miscarriage after 11 months of trying and then it's been a year since then. I have so many questions spinning around in my head. What happens if my ultrasound comes back fine, are there further tests they can do? if everything is fine why am I not getting pregnant? I cried tonight, not cried for a while over this, why me, why is this happening to me? I know there is no answer. I know I need to focus on the positives, I'm just finding it so hard today. I know tomorrow is a new day and I will feel better, just not tonight.

Like i said in my last post I dont know what I want from writing this, I just needed to get it down on paper.

Thanks for reading

Xx

[Lots8788]

Ah bless you hun x it's good to get it out. So sorry for your loss, i hope the rest of your tests come back okay and it's not too long a wait for you. Perhaps worth asking so you have a rough timescale in mind. x big hugs x

[Minnie92]

Oh bless you you’ve had a tough time, sorry for your loss aswell 😪 like you, all our tests came back clear, it wasn’t until we got to the fertility clinic they do more in-depth bloods and another sperm analysis. They test your egg quality, reserve etc. Mine was low but not really low enough to stop me getting pregnant so we were diagnosed with unexplained infertility which is soooo annoying but also means there’s hope for us to conceive naturally one day. You need to stay positive and strong as I’m afraid to tell you the tests you’ve done so far is the easy part, try and relax whilst you wait for your appointment with the fertility clinic and it will get better. Write down all your questions and take them with you Xxx

[EmGLA]

Hello

It sounds like you've had a really tough time but all of your questions are legitimate ones. I'm sure most of the women on this forum have asked themselves similar questions I know I have. I don't mean to say they aren't valid the exact opposite!! Infertility is such an isolating condition and I always feel that unless you've gone through it no one really understands. That is why this forum is so helpful I think.

I definitely think writing stuff down, thoughts, feelings, emotions is really helpful. Since I started this whole fertility treatment journey I've kept a little notebook which I write in when stressed but also write down my research, questions for the doctor, what we discussed at the appointments, blood results etc. I actually worry if it isnt in my handbag its almost like a comfort blanket.

I definitely think you should ask for a time scale. I'm assuming your British here as it is our custom not to really ask questions to the doctor or nurse which we think could be construed as rude. Its definitely not! you are enquiring about your own treatment, you are entitled to know. As long as you realise it is going to be an estimate not a guaranteed time scale that will still give you some comfort. I know I am sometimes overwhelmed with information at an appointment with info overload and all of the questions I have been worried about for weeks and months go right out of my head; that's why I started writing them down before the appointments.

Anyway, sorry for the huge reply! Good luck for the future and I hope you get some answers soon.

xxx

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi Haylz. You've been through so much waiting, bless you. So sorry to hear of your pregnancy loss and I hope you had plenty of support at the time. If it is any help, I have a list of questions you might like to look through before you see your specialist again. You would need to email me in confidence to [e-mail] and I will send them to you. Hope all goes well for you. Diane