Updates, but just no positive ones...

[sarahharas]

Dear lovely ladies,

I have been very silent for some while, because I needed time to think about something else. Now I am back and, bothe here at this forum and back beeing sad, frustrated and angry about my own body.

I had another 2 cycles of ovulation induction which resulted in AF, starting another round tomorrow. I have honestly lost all my hope that this will be eventually be successful. Month after month I am maltreating my body with 4-5 weeks of daily Gonal-F injections which finish by sex on demand and followed by 2 horrible weeks that end in a very bloody and painful disaster. I think I have lost my mind, I am just doing this mechanically, without really thinking about it, otherwise I would not be able to do that.

In the last months I felt quite OK, but now my birthdayis coming up and this makes me feel sad. Another birthday that I will spend in grief and hoplessness hiding at home, rather than beeing happy.

xx

[2-shades-of-hope]

I’m really sorry your treatment hasn’t worked so far. I get how you feel about your birthday, it’s my birthday soon too and I am pretending it’s not happening! My husband and I are deliberately going somewhere with no phone signal and no internet as I can deal with being sad on my own easier than I can deal with having to fake being happy around other people. Have you made any plans or are you just going to see how you feel on the day? X

[sarahharas in reply to 2-shades-of-hope]

I am sorry you are feeling the same. i hope You get to do something nice on your own. I am totally with you, I am absolutely not in a mood for beeing surrounded by other people and play the happy one. I think we are just going out for a good meal and have a nice drink (at least I dont have to miss out on that like my last birthday or this Christmas

And good luck for your journey. xx

[2-shades-of-hope in reply to sarahharas]

Absolutely. You deserve that drink! Good luck x

[MissSaoPaulo]

Sending you big hugs xxx