No embryos on first cycle - struggling to come to terms

[Fati8451]

My first IVF cycle 2 weeks ago resulted in only 3 eggs, despite having AMH of 14 and having max dosage of both Gonal F and Menopur. They decided on day to do icsi. Only 1 egg was mature, failed to fertilise. The other two matured over night and only 1 fertilised. The clinic doesn't transfer/freeze unless eggs reach blastocyst stage, which it didn't so by day 6 I was told that it was all over.

By day 6 we were actually fine. We had our appt with doctor two days later and she seemed surprised we were still smiling and making jokes. After we talked about how it wasn't meant to be, we were going to take a break and just concentrate on ourselves before we try again. We'd made a plan of bettering our health etc for better results.

And then a relative text to tell me she was pregnant again (3rd one in 5 years, she's 40 and gets pregnant the month she tries). I really love her and she's always sensitive to my feelings but her news totally crushed me and all I could think about was how it's so easy for everyone I know (family, friends) and I STILL can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.

So now I can't get out of this misery. On the surface i put on a good front , but inside I'm full of anger. How could I not get a single embryo? Why did my right ovary give me nothing, when all the endo was on my left ovary? We were hoping I'd get enough eggs that they would transfer one just to test and freeze the rest after surgery from haematosalpinx. I didn't want surgery - I had two surgeries in 13 months last year, the last one was so traumatizing. I just wanted the test embryo to work.

Nothing has changed. I'm back to where I was three years ago. And these 3 years have been full of excruciating pain and I don't even need to explain the emotional and mental struggles. I feel so let down.

Ugh.

[Sofi1]

Hi

I'm so sorry that you are feeling that way. I just wanted to send a message of support to you as I know how you are probably feeling. Things will get better! I've been trying for 2 years and when I went for ivf end of Feb I only had 3 follicles and unfortunately none of them had an egg. I was so devastated. My consultant said he thinks its an egg issue (amh was 8) and thinks i should get a puppy instead which did not help my emotional state of mind at all. I've been doing the same putting on a brave front and pretending that everything is ok..since my ivf two people close to me have had babies and it's been so hard.

What I suggest to you is take time out for you and your partner. Do things you both enjoy and support each other through this. Then concentrate on your health. Eat well, go for massages etc and try again. I've heard accupuncture can help and I'm currently trying out fertility massages.

You're more than welcome to message me if you want to let off steam ...everything will work out...keep positive I'm trying to.

[Cinderella5]

Im really sorry to hear that your cycle turned out this way, I know how you feel as this I had nothing to transfer on my first cycle either! It really is heartbreaking and to be hit with pregnancy news on top must be so hard! The only thing I will say is cycles can be different, we did better on our next two cycles although I took DHEA to improve my egg quality. Hopefully your clinic will have learned from this cycle and have a plan to move forward to give you more success next time. Hold onto each other tightly and plan a treat for yourselves to have a bit of quality time together, you deserve it! Hugs.xx