New Here - first cycle of IVF - Fertility Network UK

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New Here - first cycle of IVF


Hello everyone! I'm new here and undergoing my first cycle of IVF. I'm about to go in for my embryo transfer tomorrow and I'm so nervous. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for 3 years (we are both 33) and the NHS could not find anything wrong with either of us. I did all my stims and 37 eggs were collected from me (not all of them turned out to be mature)! Unfortunately none were fertilised by IVF and only 5 were fertilised by ICSI (I sort of wish the clinic had done all of them using ICSI rather than half and half, but they weren't to know I suppose). At this stage, I'm feeling like we have come so far (5 good embies hopefully!), I just don't want to get my hopes up because I am sure they will be dashed. I'm feeling rather overwhelmed by the whole process and very lonely as no one I know is going through this. I can't really talk to many people about it and most people who I have spoken to briefly (such as my family and close friends) don't seem to understand the risks, the physical pain and the emotional impact of IVF. I know everyone means well but I feel very isolated. Does anyone else feel this way? Or has felt this way going through treatment?

20 Replies

Hello and welcome.. I'm pretty sure all the ladies here will tell you we all feel the same.. unless youve been through it people just dont get it. I find this page a great support and great source of information.. Im starting IVF next month too after 2 failed IUIs.. good luck with your cycle 😊xx

Thanks Hope! I hope the start of your IVF cycle goes smoothly. It is good to know that there are people out there feeling the same or similar. :)


Hi KiraJean. When I read this, how pleased I was that they did have ICSI in mind as well. Having collected so many eggs, it would follow that many would not be mature enough, but you have a decent number of good eggs, so all being well you will get good embies too. Just wanted to wish you well with it all, and I know the "peeps" here will support you BIG. Thinking of you. Diane

KiraJean in reply to DianeArnold

Thanks Diane! It was an insane amount of eggs! I was worried I would get OHSS but I have been drinking water like a demon and hopefully no sign of it yet! Thanks for the support Diane and for this forum. Finding it has been really comforting for me and the first time I feel as if I am able to speak freely. x

DianeArnoldAdministrator in reply to KiraJean

Hi KiraJean. Pleased you're drinking plenty, better to be safe than sorry. Pleased that you find the site supportive. Diane


Hi kirajean,

Absolutely all of the girls in this forum will know exactly how you feel. Unless you have personally experienced the agonising process of IVF etc you can never properly understand.

Goodness you got such a lot of eggs and if im reading right you have 5 fighters therr. Thats a great number and sending you lots of love and luck that your transfered embryo(s) stick it out and implant nicely for you.

Its such a lonely process. My fam and friends are amazing as is hubby but I still feel alone with it all and scared that i will never feel complete.

This forum is great tho and gives positivity in such a difficult time.

You will get there and i always reckon IVF babies are loved even more as they are never taken for granted.

Good luck tom, keep us posted.


KiraJean in reply to Hidden

Hi LBM1979,

Thanks for your message! It was a lot of eggs, which is why the consultant led us to believe we would get loads of embryos. I would be really happy with 5 embryos and I am, but I think we were sort of led to believe that 5 fertilising was a bad result out of so many eggs. My husband very rationally said that just because the doctors are disappointed shouldn't mean we should be. After all, it only takes one right?

Thanks for sending me your luck, I'm sending it right back to you too! :) I totally agree that IVF babies must be some of the most cherished children in the world. Every parent of an IVF baby must feel as if they are a miracle.


Hello and welcome.

I'm awaiting to start my 2nd cycle. It's a hard journey ivf, and even harder if you've not shared your troubles.

Wishing you lots of luck and baby dust, the ladies on here are all friendly and helpful xx

KiraJean in reply to Leesalou

Leesalou, thanks for your message. I'm sending you lots of good vibes for your 2nd cycle. I hope that it is smooth and successful :)

Leesalou in reply to KiraJean

Thanks Hun, xx

hello dear. I know how you feel, I've been through this and also had no one to share with. this place is amazing for women like us. infertility is a delicate and complicated thing which could be understood only by those people who know about it not from books. My ET was not so long ago and I can't say everything was perfect esp about my mood. I was sure I wasn't pregnant. Fortunately I was wrong. And now I remember my past thought and regret I allowed myself to be so insecure of my success. What I want to say is - think positive and don't give up. We are always here to support you. x

KiraJean in reply to minerva17

Hi Minerva17,

What a cool username you have! I studied classics at uni and Minerva was my favourite Roman goddess. I'm glad to hear that ET was successful for you. That does give me hope and I already feel better. I will be positive and cross my fingers!

Thank you so much for your support :)

minerva17 in reply to KiraJean

wow, thanks ! I adore it actually and it was chosen just because of the goddes. You do have to feel better, really. I'vw made a mistake and tested earlier than I was ment to and you know what, when I got that bloody bfp I thought that all the hope has gone. but you can't imagine my happiness when I first found out my hcg when time came. so, I wish you lots of joy and positive! thinking of you with my fingers crossed xx


I don't think anyone realises how tough this is not only on us physically (my belly is currently dappled with scabs from needless and I'm so bloated my jeans don't fit) emotionally (how many times have we broken down into tears over the process or something minor on the way? I'm sleep deprived due to the drugs, stress and hot flushes). But also the strain on our partners who also have to deal with hormone pumped up women whilst we are raving that google said something and we are freaking out. Them producing samples is not the best experience either (so I've been told??).

I told a close friend we were doing ivf and she was yeah we'll do that if we aren't pregnant in a few months. Seriously no idea at all. I've given up telling people and solely rely on the nurses and this forum.

Oh let's not forget the waiting time for the process to actually start to and pretty much having to put your life on hold for holidays etc because you can't plan for anything on the run up to ivf.

We are all ivf warriors and will fight through x

5 is a wonderful number. We take quality over quantity and your husband is completely correct, it does only take one.

Good luck for ET. The easiest bit of the process for me although I was completely bricking it due to the enormity of the occasion. I'm on day 2 of the 2ww so we will be testing around the same time. x

KiraJean in reply to emmab178

Hi Emmab178!

Those stomach injections suck don't they! It just felt so counter-intuitive to me to stick a needle in my belly. I had only ever had needles in my arms before and I just really stressed out the first time I had to do it. Once I had done it I felt really proud of myself and I kind of wanted to tell somebody, but I was alone at home and it is not the kind of thing you can call someone up and tell them about. I rewarded myself with a chocolate digestive and little pat on the back.

And the bloating! I totally know how you feel, I was wondering what I could wear to work as none of my trousers fit me and I was never going to manage tights with a skirt. One of my friends is 4 months pregnant (she tried for like a month and fell pregnant immediately) and she was smaller than I was. My belly was bigger than hers and I wasn't actually pregnant which was a cruel irony! You are so right, I do feel a bit like a warrior, as we all should. It is a tough process and anyone who undergoes it is very brave.

Thanks for your comments on quality over quantity. You are right and your words have been so comforting to me! I'm sending you all the good vibes for your 2WW and I hope your belly calms down soon. Do let me know if you fancy chatting during the 2WW and if you feel comfortable, any news you might have. My fingers are crossed for you x

emmab178 in reply to KiraJean

I've been working from home so living in pyjamas like Hugh heffner! I lost 4 stone to get to ivf so I have a few extra large sizes laying around lol.

Feel free to message anytime. I'm usually up googling lol.

I had a sausage baguette and then felt so sick and hot so was in bed this afternoon. Strangely I'm losing weight not putting it on even though I'm not on the diet which is a bit odd. Maybe my massive ovary is returning back to size.

The pessaries are also giving me the trotts lol. Oh the joy of the process!

Enjoy egg transfer day. For me it was the biggest high. Hubby was all excited too and took me out for lunch. You are nearly there x

Hi Hun, I do think it's a lonely process. Even after I completely over shared with everyone I know it didn't change that feeling as they just don't understand it unless they've been thru it. That's y I sought out this forum and so glad I found it!! A great place to vent, get reassurance and generally find compassion & understanding!! Hope your transfer goes well today and good luck on your 2ww xxx

Hi All, thanks for the support. I hope everyone is doing well. Transfer went okay. Our 5 embryos had not reached blastocyst stage yet but still showed development so they transferred two just to give me an extra chance at getting pregnant. The doctor seemed positive and said she had seen healthy babies born from pre-blastocyst transfers but I was pretty crushed to be honest. I have to wait one more day to see if the other three embryos are going to reach blastocyst and can be frozen. I hope so as I would hate to think that this was my only chance on the NHS (in my borough you get one fresh cycle and one frozen cycle). I'm feeling a bit weird to be honest. Quiet and withdrawn and a bit sad. I'm generally a very positive person but this has been harder for me than I thought it would be. I'm going to try to return to normal life for the next 2 weeks and distract myself as much as possible.

Yeah, the process can be overwhelming. The quality of your eggs is great! Don't feel helpless. It will affect your body negatively. The transfer of embryo can get impacted. You will find support on forums like these. The purpose is to make you feel safe. You will read great stories here too. Trust me they help to stay calm. Other than this take care of your body. Adapt to a healthy lifestyle. Change your diet to a healthy one. Do yoga twice a week at least. All these will help you for sure. Your emotions will get controlled too. Good luck!


Hey you have a good chance and a good number of eggs :)

Wishing you the very best of luck!


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