Anxiety: HI all After our very good... - Fertility Network UK

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Anxiety

Sprockerlove profile image
15 Replies

HI all

After our very good news of a BFP i cannot believe how unbelievably anxious i am. I have never suffered with anxiety but i am really struggling with the constant bad dreams and bad thoughts that something will go wrong. We have got our viability scan on the 12th april which seems like forever away, and i'm not quite sure how i'm going to get through the next 2 weeks. I'm frightened to do anything in case i pull myself, i'm frightened of doing too little exercise and at the same time frightened of doing too much. Please tell me i'm not going mad and please can anyone give me some tips on how to try and stay positive.

Thank you, xx

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Sprockerlove profile image
Sprockerlove
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15 Replies
MissSaoPaulo profile image
MissSaoPaulo

You're not going mad - I think we all feel like that. So much focus on getting the BFP we're not prepared for what comes after. I don't know if this will reassure you, but it really is up to the embryo now. If it's viable it will develop and there are very few things you could do that would affect that. Likewise, if it's sadly not viable, there's nothing you can do about that either. Like most of this long, tough journey, things are still pretty much out of your control, so try not to stress about what you're doing or not doing.

Focus on looking after yourself, eating well, taking your folic acid - if you've got the energy to exercise, great, just avoid anything too strenuous. If you feel exhausted, just rest.

Hope the rest of the wait passes quickly and everything's fine when you finally get to the scan xxx

Hollibob profile image
Hollibob

In some ways, waiting for the first scan is worse than the 2ww!

After our recent BFP, I had dreams about miscarriages and bleeding and they really unsettled me as I’ve had miscarriages before. They stopped within a week.

I then had one sided right pain for 2 days which I hadn’t experienced before at around 5 weeks and I was terrified that something had happened. When it got to the viability scan at 6+2 (early due to a holiday) when we got called in, I was in tears..I was proven wrong and there was a strong heartbeat!!

After that I had spotting over 4 different days when on holiday and some of the symptoms changed...again, I was terrified things had gone wrong.

This affected my sleeping and I know I was stressed about it all.

Spoke with the community midwife, as we don’t meet them until 10+5 and the forms I had to complete didn’t allow for previous history..they organised a scan for us and again all was ok 🙂

The reason we feel like this is because it means the world to us and the journey it’s taken to get there.

I felt like every time we let ourselves get excited or talk about things, something would happen to bring us back to reality!

I’ve had a mini migraine for two days and I know it’s probably stress from waiting to have the scan done on Tuesday or hormone changes, but my mind keeps saying it could be something indicating to my body that it’s not right.

You can honestly drive yourself mad and it’s normal to a certain degree.

I hope I haven’t made you feel worse..I know for me this time round, I’ve just got on with daily life as it comes. If you normally do exercise, then I would say continue, but don’t go full on. Eat and drink healthy, take your vitamins, get good sleep and try to relax where you can.

You could always speak with your doctor to let them know how you feel and ask if they will do blood tests to monitor the HCG levels?

Talk to your other half, they will always reassure you that all is well and we always think that we know best cos it’s our bodies, but it doesn’t hurt for them to know what’s going on in your head!

Lots of luck...x

Kari55 profile image
Kari55 in reply toHollibob

I’m so glad I’ve read your post! I’m 5 weeks today and started having pain on my right hand side today which freaked me out. It’s good to know it might be all normal. 🙏🏻 best wishes xx

Hollibob profile image
Hollibob in reply toKari55

Just keep an eye on it and see how long it goes on for. I must admit, that I did think about trying to see EPU as I was worried about a potential ectopic, but then I thought, what can they do at 5 weeks...bloods maybe and monitoring, but a scan may not necessarily have shown anything. See how you go x

Kari55 profile image
Kari55 in reply toHollibob

It’s not hurting all the time. There is nothing and suddenly I would get a stab. I think I had it a bit couple of days ago and then it went. I hope it’s just normal x

Hollibob profile image
Hollibob in reply toKari55

Sounds similar to what I had..sudden dull stabbing and then goes..who knows what happens inside 🙂

Kari55 profile image
Kari55 in reply toHollibob

Exactly, who knows! I must say that my right side is always more painful during periods too so maybe it’s just more sensitive. I hope it’s nothing bad 🙏🏻

Kari55 profile image
Kari55

I can totally sympathise. I got my first BFP last week and embarked on a whole new level of anxiety. I seem to be coming up with a new worry every day. Even my doctor joked that I behave now worse than after my previous failed cycle. I’m trying to think that I need to trust my body and the embryos are they know what they are doing. Your scan is just 1 week after mine. Thinking of you xx

Em2405 profile image
Em2405

You are not mad, just pregnant!! Congratulations! It’s such an amazing time but also incredibly anxious. The next 2 weeks will feel longer than the 2WW! Sorry!

It’s also an amazing time, take good care of yourself and the baby. Only do what you feel comfortable doing, gentle exercise is fine especially swimming. Take your vitamins and try to relax as much as you can.

The anxiety doesn’t go away after the viability scan.... or the 12 week scan... in currently waiting for my 20 week and I’m still super anxious. I think if you’ve had fertility issues the waits seem longer and it feel so precious. It’s a worrying time but try to enjoy as much as you can.

Get some books, read about what to expect in your pregnancy they made me feel more normal and prepared. Find out what you can and can’t eat. Revel in the joy for a bit.

I have everything crossed for you 🤞🏻

You’ve done everything you can now, take it easy and try not to be too uptight (I know I was).

Best of luck and sticky baby dust to you. Keep us updated. Xxx

Glasgow1981 profile image
Glasgow1981

I'm the exact same. I'm worrying myself sick that it's all going to go wrong and then I feel so ungrateful as I'm one of the lucky ones. I had quite a bad ectopic 2.5 years ago and I'm so scared it will happen again. My clinic have been really nice though and understand how worried I am so they're giving me 2 hcg tests and an early scan at 6 weeks to make sure everything is in the right place and progressing. i don't think I'll properly relax until after the 12 week scan.

Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl

A good rule of thumb for exercise during pregnancy is that you should be able to sustain a conversation easily at the same time, without getting out of breath doing so.

I’m 20 weeks pregnant and we had our anomaly scan this morning. All was well. But this morning I was a bag of nerves for fear that we’d get bad news today. I feel exactly the same for every scan, terrified they’ll give us bad news (because we’ve been there a couple of times before, although we’ve never gotten this far). I don’t think the anxiety gets a lot better, although it is a bit better now but it’s understandable given what we go through to get pregnant. At times my anxiety has been overwhelming. All you can do is take it one day at a time and one appointment at a time xx

Doglover5 profile image
Doglover5

Hi I remember speaking to you before as I also had treatment at the Priory Birmingham. Congrats on your positive that’s great news. I also had my first ever positive and now 8 weeks. I’m also very anxious but after a couple of scans a little better. I’ve had bleeding etc which has been very stressful! I think it is expected to be completely anxious and thinking the worst. I think you almost assume it will go wrong and that no one could get that lucky. But then try to think the other way that many many people ‘get that lucky’ the natural way and don’t go through what you already have been through so it is entirely possible to have a happy ending.

I’m convincing myself as much as you right now too. Try to take it each week at a time (the clinic also recommended that!) I hope you feel better soon xxx

Sprockerlove profile image
Sprockerlove in reply toDoglover5

hiya

congratulations on you BFP!!! I hope all is going well for you, how are things?x

Novice_knitter profile image
Novice_knitter

You’re not going mad for sure. I was feeling this way at your stage and the wait for the viability scan was so hard!! When I was feeling this way, someone said to me ‘the only pregnancy symptom that stays consistent is anxiety’. It’s a tough time but it does get easier.

Take time to look after yourself. I liked to put my hand on my tummy and talk to my little ‘blob’ in my head to connect, also found it helpful using an app to get daily blogs on pregnancy and updates on stages of development each week.

You can’t predict the future or control what happens now, but managing your anxiety to help yourself get through this and enjoy this time as much as you can is key.

Good luck hun xxx

Sprockerlove profile image
Sprockerlove

thank you all for your advice and kind words. Still feel like im slowly going mad but time is ticking away slowly xx

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