Help with anxiety needed please

[Hope4usall]

Hi everyone,

I am really over the moon with our positive result but it is being overshadowed by constant anxiety about something happening to the baby, but I'm also getting anxiety about things happening to other people and myself. I understand why I'm feeling it, a counsellor has previously said because of the miscarriage I have had I am going into protection overdrive! I am trying to foresee bad things happening to try and prepare myself for it to soften the blow if it does happen.

I feel I need strategies to cope with this as it is affecting me a lot. I don't feel I need a counsellor to off load to as I have friends and family I can do that with. I can't go on for months like this.

Anyone been through similar? Anything that worked particularly well for you or therapies that helped?

Thanks everyone, hopefully I'm not going mad! 😁

[ttcemmie]

Of course you're feeling like this! Completely natural with any history of fertility struggles, miscarriage etc. 🙁 Feel free to put on here whenever you're anxious as well! I don't know if I have anything particularly helpful to say with the regards to the anxiety right at this moment, but just wanted to say we're here for you and to send positive vibes for your little babe.

[Starryeyes1984]

I was exactly the same, although my bout of pregnancy anxiety was triggered by having POI and then having to go through egg donor process which was all a bit stressful followed by heavy bleeding from weeks 8 to 17. I literally thought I was having a miscarriage nearly every week. It was horrendous. I took 2 weeks off work in the end cause my nerves were completely fried and I asked to be referred to the perinatal mental health unit for some CBT which was actually really helpful so I’d give that a try (you can find stuff online). It isn’t really talking therapy so much as tools and exercises to help you de-escalate your anxiety. Best to get a handle on it so you can enjoy the rest of your pregnancy. Good luck!

[Hope4usall in reply to Starryeyes1984]

Thank you so much. Definitely feel I need something different from counselling. I hope all went well for your pregnancy Xx

[Starryeyes1984 in reply to Hope4usall]

Nearly 34 weeks and so far so good! Second half of this pregnancy has been much easier than the first half. My anxiety has also decreased a bit with every milestone but I literally cannot wait to just have this little one in my arms!

[Hope4usall in reply to Starryeyes1984]

I bet you can't! Not long for you to go now. Best of luck to you and thanks for taking the time to reply to me xx

[RhinoCat]

It’s ok to admit you’re having a crap time!

Is it ok to say , I think you do need a counsellor to help you reflect properly on your emotions and to help you assess how you are burning up your energy . This process has elements of trauma too. Have you looked up CBT things for anxiety and catastrophe thoughts? Google CBT strategies for anxiety . Look up the MIND website , do you do mindfulness? Have you tried to go for a walk close to trees etc and do deep breathing to calm yourself down ? Try 7/11 breathing, in for 7 out for 11. Also try box breathing ( inhale, hold for 4, breathe out for 4, out again for 4 as you imagine drawing the four sides of a square). Have you tried the senses thing? Look at 5 things, touch 4 things, etc etc. Lots of anxiety busting tricks to try . What about putting on an upbeat song and dancing your ass off until ya sweat? 😘 what about mindfulness colouring , reading a new book and making your brain focus to read it for two chapters at a time. Write in a journal? . The CALM journal by fearne cotton is good, sometimes I just write things I’m thankful for if I don’t agree with the thought for the day etc , I also follow the UCB readings for the day .

Do you listen to the Mindful ivf app?

Do you have the Calm app?

Sending hugs of understanding ,

Rhinocat x 💐

[Hope4usall in reply to RhinoCat]

Thanks so much for all your suggestions. Some of them I do already like mindfulness and so e of the apps but I'll definitely look at the others too. Thanks for your understanding xx

[RhinoCat in reply to Hope4usall]

Maybe even just hearing that some of us also feel like this will help you to relax in it 😘😘😘😘 it’s a tough journey filled with anxiety at every turn . Just do one day at a time. Maybe you’ll feel differently tomorrow 😘😘😘😘😘💐💐💐💐💐

[Peonypop]

Hello Hope4usall, I just wanted to say hello and say all those feelings of anxiety around the pregnancy and those pe Apple around you are absolutely normal, especially when you’ve been though a miscarriage and fertility struggles. I could have written your post word for word several months ago having got a positive test after ivf and a missed miscarriage. The anxiety was crippling at times but I tried to focus on taking it one day at a time, keeping up on my gratitude journal and getting plenty of rest. I’m now 23weeks pregnant and whilst I still feel anxious, it’s so much less. It sounds like you have a great support around you which helps enormously. As each day/week passes, it does get easier, I promise. Sending a big hug xx

[Hope4usall in reply to Peonypop]

Thank you,not helps hearing other people that have been through the same and come out the other side relatively unscathed! Thanks so much and best of luck for your pregnancy too xxx

[Hope4usall in reply to Hope4usall]

It helps*

[Leesara]

Could have written this post myself! Just wanted to say, your not alone. Sending lots of love hope and positivity xx

[Mantaray75]

So sorry you're feeling like this. I felt exactly the same throughout my pregnancy to be honest. I still can't quite believe she is here!

It definitely got easier the further into the pregnancy. Seeing the scans was good and I had monthly ones cos of my age which was great.

I had a friend at work who was due a couple months before me with an egg donor baby. Just chatting to her about our mutual paranoia helped!

Let us know if you feel like catching up some time.

x

[Hope4usall in reply to Mantaray75]

Thanks hun. Yeah it is helping talking to people on here with similar experiences. I have a scan booked for the 11th which I am dreading to be honest just because of what happened last time, but hopefully we will have good news. Things so far seem to be going well so I just need to remember that. Yeah a catch up would be nice. U up this way anytime soon? X

[Rainbowhope]

Hi sweets. I'm in the same boat. My anxiety is out of control too now that I have a positive. If there anything you can do to help with relaxation? Maybe acupuncture is worth trying or even reflexology? I always thought I'd be 'normal' after I get a positive but it's worse than before! Please try to find a hobbie or something that can help you stay calm and grounded. Counselling is Good. I think I can express fears to a counsellor which I cant to my friends and family.

[Hope4usall in reply to Rainbowhope]

Thanks for your response, beat of luck to you xx