I think I’ve posted about this before but keen to know how couples navigate through relationship trauma and stress when going through infertility/ treatments. Sometimes I feel like we’re ticking along OK and then can hit an all time rock bottom! At the moment it feels like it’s hard to see a way past all the arguments.
X
The situation is actually quite sensitive. Probably because the person who is suffering from the disorder feels very vulnerable. Like in my example I always blame myself for my husband not being able to have a child. Therefore, my DH has to deal with that vulnerability which at times can get to the head. So its always better to talk more about such issues. In a relation never lead towards silence. This is something really important. Good luck to you.
Normally we are very good at communicating and I couldn’t agree more about steering away from silence. Just at the mo we don’t seem to be communicating at all well! Please don’t blame yourself. This journey is so so hard x
I totally get where you are coming from.
Before we started the IVF process I thought our relationship was unbreakable. Now am not so sure.
Its like its turned us into crazy and unrational people.
We love each other deeply but between the hormones, and him still thinking he can carry on as normal I have sort of grown a feeling of resentment towards him. And it causes rows lots of them lol.
We are taking a break from IVF at the moment so I've enjoyed the occasional night out but I feel racked with guilt.
IVF is not for the weak hearted I tell ya
The IVF Journey puts a strain on the most stable of relationships. The drugs, the procedures, the hope, the vulnerability, the financial strain, the results... its a flipping big roller coaster.
I've been on the journey with 2 separate partners (my 1st marriage failed due to the strains of fertility treatment), so I was desperate not to make the same mistakes again with my (2nd) husband.
We went on a couples' retreat prior to starting treatment. Wow - what an eyeopener for both of us - We thought we knew already each other really well...! Over the course of the weekend we learnt so much about each others' hopes and dreams, what makes us 'tick', how we communicate, desire and we also developed a shared vision together of what we would like the future to be (one with and one without children). We left the weekend feeling like a superhero couple, able to take on the world together.
I'm always amazed that clinics don't offer this kind of couples counselling?
We've now one month past our BFN through IVF, and we have one blasto 'on ice'.
Having the shared vision of what our life could be like REGARDLESS of the treatment has really helped us cope with the negative result.
Cut yourself some slack, laugh, love and cry together. You've got this. xx
I could literally have written this message!! I couldn’t agree with you more. We are due to see the consultant at the fertility clinic on Monday with a view to starting ASAP but I wonder if we, too, need a break before starting. Thanks for the message x
Ruined relationship with my son.. 
Advice re new relationship
Relationship and communication
Stress on the relationship 
Male infertility, OHSS, s*xless relationship
