IVF strain on relationship - will arguments affect implantation chances?

[Cuppppatea]

I have been clashing with my husband alot for the past month. We have had quite a few arguments mainly surrounding me ‘taking this whole thing too seriously’ and him going out without me to clubs and pubs and drinking and coming home late. He has been pretty unsupportive I hate to say.

I had my fresh transfer on the 14th. I’ve felt sad or anxious a few times over the past few days due to reactions to his behaviour, and today we had an argument. There was a bit of shouting and he called me boring and miserable ffs and said some other horrible things.

I could feel my heart rate speeding up and a lump in my throat wanting to cry hysterically to be honest. But I calmed myself down quite quickly and did some yoga. I do worry about the effects of it all physically on implantation.

Back to work tomorrow - hoping its an easy day

[Londonlady2024]

Hi, sorry to hear this. Sadly IVF is mentally draining more than it is physically. I don't think it will affect implementation at all. So don't worry. Stay positive, keep busy at work and home.

Wishing you success.

Will you be testing early? Use first response tests (early result) if you are because they are super sensitive.

[Cuppppatea in reply to Londonlady2024]

Thanks for your message. How early do you think you could test with those?

[Londonlady2024 in reply to Cuppppatea]

You could test as early as 5-6 days on the first response. But I would test after 7 days for a slow growing embryo ie early blastocyst.

[Cuppppatea in reply to Londonlady2024]

I think the nurses said there is a chance of false positive though due to the trigger shit used containing hcg ?

[Londonlady2024 in reply to Cuppppatea]

Sorry yes I am referring to frozen transfer only - sorry. With trigger short ie fresh transfer please wait at least 2 weeks or around 12 days.

[Kitkat10]

I’m sorry you’re going through this, it’s such a high pressure time. Try not to worry about implantation, I had norovirus the week after transfer and it still worked so don’t worry. Try and keep busy and distracted, easier said than I know. My partner wasn’t argumentative but he isn’t a talker so I felt the full weight of the stress alone and I found it useful to concentrate on my own mental well being and let him do his own thing during the stressful times. Good luck 🤞🤞🍀🍀 xx

[Cuppppatea in reply to Kitkat10]

Thank you <3 yes, that's exactly it isnt it. Just take charge for yourself and do what is within your control. It's just quite sad to have to do that with such lack of support. I didn't even get a card or present on valentines day (and went to the transfer alone).

[Xmishell37]

Hey, it's really not easy on relationships to go through IVF no matter how strong those relationships start out so I'm sorry it's a tough journey for you 💗, I asked my partner to read the chapter on sperm quality from the book It Starts with the Egg which he did and after a really crap round 1 of IVF I'm preparing for another egg collection. He's agreed to go sober this time (I asked him outright because this ended in argument before our first collection) because reading that book I realised it's 50/50 and ive had two early MC. I think it's a good thing to be open with Ur partner and tell him Ur struggling and feel like Ur doing this alone 💔 it's already a seriously lonely process, I was prepared for my partner saying no to going sober and me going to stay at my mum's for a while because I would have felt totally unsupported especially after two MC, but its because the stage we are at and i want us both to be sober prior to egg retrieval - (age also isnt on our side), I will be more relaxed after hes given his sample, so its a very personal thing, I totally appreciate why u might want to stay at home rather than go out but I hope he can see that, I very much doubt that some stress from an argument would be a determining factor in success as our bodies can cope with some stress (the whole process of ttc is stressful!!) Hope u both find a nice balance during this wait 💗 xx

[Cuppppatea in reply to Xmishell37]

Thank you . I did think that at the time ....cant remember why i didn't, so i'll get him to that. Obvs I am in the two week wait now....who knows what will happen. He seems to think his part is done!

[Xmishell37 in reply to Cuppppatea]

The two week wait is the worst, hope Ur holding out ok 💗 try hard to keep urself busy (easier said than done i know) - I booked a staycation during my first tww and it did help a bit but ended up testing early anyway 🙈 my next tww is likely to be when I'm off work so I will be demented in the house and I'm thinking to book a few days away again! I hope uv got support around u if Ur not getting it from Ur husband, just be assured you are NOT taking this too seriously 💗 xx

[BleuM]

So sorry to hear you not getting the support you need. But I’d say it wouldn’t affect implantation or any other stage of pregnancy. I had a recent counselling session and asked if stress causes issues they said no, there is no perfect situation emotionally for you to be in during this process. If you think about it people in Domestic abuse or war zone like situations fall pregnant. It’s more harm to yourself you need to be surrounded by love n support x hope you can resolve things 🤞x

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi Cupppppatea. There is a charity called the British Infertility Counselling Association who deal with al sorts of fertility and relationships while having treatment. There is a charge, but not excessive. bica.net so do have a look. Diane

[Cuppppatea in reply to DianeArnold]

Thanks Diane. I will check it out.