Today I am not even a week into the TWW and given I am “only” on my second IUI I know my journey isn’t as hard as others. That said that seems to be a battle I’m having at the moment ...
“It’s only the beginning” “others have been through so much more than me” but on the other hand “I don’t feel ok”. Where’s the balance or ok to feel like that but keeping perspective?!
As I sit waiting for a progesterone blood test this morning, being late again for work, making a detoured journey this morning, feeling full of cold and not able to take anything - I’m starting to wonder if I’m cut out for this. As I say it’s only the beginning of what could be a very long journey and I’m bloody struggling. It’s the first time
I’ve said it. I’m tired of it being all I think about, feeling like there’s a void, not quite getting on with “normal” life, and being prodded and poked!!
Thank you for listening I know this is all part of the rollercoaster today is just not a good day xx
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amandac84
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It’s crap isn’t it! We all have those days, don’t beat yourself up, sounds like feeling under the weather isn’t helping anything.
Beginning the journey or not it’s your journey and everyone’s different. I felt the same as I’ve been ttc for nearly 3 years and going in for my first round of ICSI felt like it was just the beginning again which drove me crazy. But once you’re in there doing it all you might feel better, like you’re actually doing some thing productive about it now instead of someone saying “just keep trying” which I did and I felt much better about it all. Even though I’m with you on being poked and prodded, bloody sick of injections already.
Maybe use the counselling services your clinic provides, it’s good to get it out.
Keep your chin up hon. This journey is tough no matter where you are on it and while others may have struggled more that doesn't invalidate your struggles and feelings. And everything always seems that bit worse when you're full of cold, doesn't it? It's a bad day. Tomorrow will be better. In the meantime, take good care of yourself, a bit of pampering in order maybe?
I can really relate to this. It is an exhausting process! You’ve done well to get as far as you have and it won’t be long before you’ll be at the next stage, whatever that may be. I try and take time in small chunks - get to this date, get to that appointment etc. It all feels overwhelming otherwise! My fingers are crossed for you that you get your BFP! X
I am the same. I’m stuck in limbo. All my annual leave and money is for ivf. I can’t have holidays. I can’t drink alcohol. I’m constantly worried about ivf working or not working and my long term future. I work with families and babies every day. It’s hard. So hard. It’s cruel and unfair. It’s invasive and time consuming to have ivf. It’s painful and sad. It’s hard work. But one day when it works, all this will be forgotten and I’ll have what I’ve always wanted - that’s the drive that keeps me going - if I give up I won’t get my baby. Got to just keep on going, be positive, be grateful for ivf, be grateful for your partner and family and friends, keep hoping and look after yourself physically and mentally xxxx
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