Day 11 and feeling low

[Vivkim]

OTD is Monday 30th Oct. Ive had much stronger symptoms in this FET. Boobs feel like bags of concrete and are crazy sore. I’ve had a blocked nose, peeing 10 times a day, thirsty all the time..I could go on!

Here is the thing…now I have these symptoms, I fixate on experiences of others who got a BFP but had no symptoms…so I’ve talked myself into believing this will be another unsuccessful round…BECAUSE I have strong symptoms.

The crazy thing is, in the last FET, my symptoms stopped around day 8…which I then used to talk myself into believing it would be unsuccessful…fixating on experiences where this was the case! (Which it was for me).

Anyone else feeling like they’re loosing the plot? I’m waking up and checking symptoms instantly, and going to bed doing the same! It’s exhausting! But now…I DONT WANT TO FEEL ANYTHING.

My OH’s daily input is to ask ‘how are your boobs today?’ 😂 After updating him, I’m sure he doesn’t give it another thought for the rest of the day!

When will they develop a drug that doesn’t simulate pregnancy!? 😢

Love and strength to all.

[Millbanks]

Awww love, it's so hard not to fixate on every little thing during the 2ww.

I've had 6 FETs and each one has been different - there is no way of knowing unfortunately.

I actually ended up buying myself lots of little gifts and opening one each day (like an advent calendar) to try and bring a bit of something else to each day - and to try and stop thinking relentlessly about it.

The only thing you can do is wait!!! xxx

[Vivkim in reply to Millbanks]

Hi Millbanks

It’s just insane, isn’t it!

This is FET number 5 for us and it doesn’t get any easier. We’re considering testing early this weekend but I also don’t want to know! More insanity!

I wish I was organised enough to take on your suggestion but you’ve given me inspo to definitely treat ourselves come Monday’s OTD. My school’s half term starts Monday so I’ll have lots of time to process our results.

Sending best wishes to everyone on here 💜

[Millbanks in reply to Vivkim]

Aww it's a rough ride for sure! I was totally the same, I just couldn't bear to test at all but desperate to know...

Number 6 was lucky for us but let's hope this is the one for you!

Yes defo get yourself an OTD gift - I splashed out on that day and bought myself some ruby earrings - lol xx

[Vivkim in reply to Millbanks]

I share your hope. Thank you. I’m happy to hear of your success. I know we can’t all be the lucky ones.

In the next retrieval we might opt for PGA testing, if we bank a few, of course. However age is not on our side. Did you do this? I’ve read mixed reviews. Especially for older ladies. Some research indicates that abnormal embryos can correct themselves if transferred. This will be new territory for us.

Love to you and your family 💜

[Millbanks in reply to Vivkim]

Don't count yourself out yet!

We did do PGT-A testing - mainly because we were lucky enough to have 9 frozen embryos and didn't want to transfer ones that didn't stand a chance. But also because it hadn't worked by 5 transfers so wanted to really give ourselves the best chance.

For our lucky transfer we also did an immune protocol involving steroids and intralipids - I think all these things combined made it work for us xx

[Vivkim in reply to Millbanks]

This is really helpful. Thank you. I’ll hold off researching your suggestions til Monday 💜

[DianeArnold]

Hi Vi vein. Oh bless you. Don’t get so hung up on symptoms searching. They can come and go. Not far now, so keep busy, keep up with prescribed medication and test on the day recommended by your clinic. Good luck. Diane

[Vivkim]

Hi Diane

I will. Thank you. The symptom-spotting has got less today as I’m busy in work. Feet up til Monday now 😵‍💫

Thank you for monitoring this group and reaching out with your reassurance. Much appreciated 💜

[HoneyB11]

Your symptoms sound very positive to me and it’s not over until it’s over.

On my first failed transfer I started bleeding the day before my OTD so new it hadn’t worked but unless you have that kind of definitive answers try and hold out the hope,

Have everything crossed for you!! Xx

[Vivkim]

Hi HoneyB

In the last day I’ve been better at not trying to read into the symptoms. My boobs were less sore yesterday but today the uncomfortableness is back with a vengeance but I’m not using any of it as indication. As you say, I haven’t experienced anything definitive until I POAS.

I haven’t got any tests yet so need to get some before Monday. Are First Response tests still the preferred? I think I saw somewhere that recently, there have been issues with them.

I’ve been reading about your wonderful news and WOW I’m so pleased for you. I hope you’re keeping well and drowning yourself in excitement and love. It must be the best feeling ever 💜

[HoneyB11]

Thank you for your sweet message! I can’t deny the feeling of being on cloud 9 and not even the clocks changing can dampen my mood!

How are you getting on, did you manage to get some tests?

Good luck for today

Xx

[Vivkim]

Morning

We forgot to buy tests at the weekend so the OH headed to Tesco for opening this morning whilst I held in my morning pee. We could only get a Clear Blue test which just came back positive!! I read it wrong initially, looking for a cross in the results window or two lines. So we felt the usual disappointment…only to crawl back into bed and realise we were wrong. What a rollercoaster of emotions!

We still don’t trust the result. Going to do a few more with each pee today to be sure.

I’m not sure if it’s the initial disappointment, but I feel numb and my OH is very quiet and withdrawn (he’s just gone for a bath). Not what I expected our reaction to be like. I’ve also now got a pounding headache.

We’ve spent 4 years protecting ourselves from bad news so I guess it’s to be expected until it sinks in!

FML 🤦🏼‍♀️

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[Vivkim]

Just did a second test and it’s definitely positive! We are in disbelief! We’ve never considered what happens past this point so I’m a bag of nerves! OHs gone back to bed and I’m watching Dirty Dancing on Prime. I want to tell my parents and the in-laws NOW but also want to be cautious. They both know we’re in a transfer cycle but not exactly when OTD was. Did you tell anyone right away?

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[Hopewhite in reply to Vivkim]

Congratulations!! Wishing you all the best of luck in your pregnancy, hopefully it will all go smoothly and you’ll get to relax and enjoy it a bit more with time xx

[Vivkim in reply to Hopewhite]

Thanks Hopewhite 💜

I know we all protect ourselves one way or another but we honestly didn’t think this would ever work, just chipped away at the process like it was just another ‘task’ to get on with every few months.

I’m going to step away from Google and focus on normality for the rest of the day.

Lots of love to you 💜

[Hopewhite in reply to Vivkim]

It’s a wonderful outcome ! I think what you describe is very normal, like you say we shield ourselves from further disappointments but hopefully it will sink in soon and will bring you loads of joy xx

What you say resonates with me, we have our FET booked for this Thursday, I’m feeling quite numb about it, of course I’m hoping for the best but I know there’s no guarantees of anything xx

[Vivkim in reply to Hopewhite]

Hi Hopewhite

I’m hoping and praying for you that this is your time.

The numbness continues here. Please take care of yourself 💜

[Hopewhite in reply to Vivkim]

Thank you lovely xx I hope everything goes perfectly for you too, sending you a big hug xx

[Millbanks]

Oh congratulations! I think it's incredibly normal to feel like this - like you say, you've been protecting yourself for so long.

The excitement will come - but for now just let it sink it slowly - I don't think I actually believed it until I was about 20 weeks and started getting a bump. It feels like an incredibly long and slow journey once you get your BFP.

Try not to worry though xxx

[Vivkim in reply to Millbanks]

Thanks Millbanks. We’ll get there. My clinic’s protocol is to email them about results so I’m desperately waiting to hear back so we know what we need to do next. We’re quite low on medication so we’ll need a repeat prescription in the next couple days. Do you think they’ll offer a pregnancy test at the clinic to confirm? I just can’t fully believe this is real and don’t trust I’m doing the tests right.

[Millbanks in reply to Vivkim]

Some clinics do, but some don't tbh - they'll tell you what to do next though - don't worry.

They'll likely book you in for a viability scan in 2.5 weeks.

My clinic always says to test at home and if it's positive then they bring you in for bloods xx

[Vivkim in reply to Millbanks]

Okay. Thank you. I’m talking myself out of it now. I’ve got one more test left to do then we’ll leave it to the professionals. I’m not sure what I expected but I didn’t realise I’d be worrying about the next step already. 2.5 weeks will be another killer.

Thank you for your help.

Lots of love to you 💜

[Millbanks in reply to Vivkim]

Yes none of this is easy - but you've got this - it's happening xx

[BabyDust23]

Congratulations! So happy to see your positive this morning 😁 it is a lot to take in after so many disappointments but that is a strong positive! Congratulations again, take care 🫶🏼xx

[Vivkim in reply to BabyDust23]

Thank you BabyDust.

The TWW is excruciating but today I’m all over the shop.

I’ve just done a third test and it’s slightly lighter. Do you think that because it’s later in the day and I’ve been drinking water?

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[Millbanks in reply to Vivkim]

100%!! Stop testing!

[Vivkim in reply to Millbanks]

I will. Sorry 😞

I’ll leave the last test we have until tomorrow morning 💜

[BabyDust23 in reply to Vivkim]

Yes it’s because it’s diluted so exciting! Try not to test again and if you do- test after two days fmu 🫶🏼xx

[Vivkim in reply to BabyDust23]

I just got a pang of excitement reading your comment, thank you 🥰

[HollieW]

Wishing you luck today for a BFP. The TWW is torture. You worry if you have symptoms your period is coming, if you don't have symptoms you think it hasn't worked. It is so difficult to get your head round and no matter how many times I did it (4 in total) it never got easier! Sending positive thoughts your way xx