I have been in treatment for the last few months. I have suffered from endometriosis my entire life and as a result now have a low ovarian reserve - I also had my tubes removed when I was 22 due to the end o. At first I was super excited till I realized how difficult this. Every week at least 3-4 times going to the clinic which is over 30 minutes at the wee hours of the morning to only be told take more of this pill or more of that pill. They are not growing fast enough, I know at the end when I end up with my child (have to have faith) I will look back at this and say it was painless. But every day I am so emotional, crying, and feel like I am literally alone. My husband tries to be supportive but he just does not understand, my mother who has come with me to a lot of my appointments tries as hard as she can to be there for me and my friends - I just keep them in the dark.
Anyone else feel like this? How did you carry on?
My egg retrieval is hopefully Monday, but being that there are so little follicles currently only 4 - last time only 2 - I know I am up for many more cycles (this is the doctors plan)
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Lind58
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It is hard... I am very much on a roller coaster of emotions constantly. It’s both mentally and physically tiring but I agree that when we finally are fortunate enough to welcome a little one we won’t think about this journey because it will all have been worth it. I have found this group to be the most supportive and helpful on a daily basis ... it has helped me no end. Having the support from women who really can relate and know how we feel... priceless.
Firstly big hugs to you. Second my story which hopefully brings you hope.
Suffered forever but carried on. They found a 7cm mass encompassing my left ovary may 2016. The mass and ovary was removed and i was told to go for ivf at 37 with one ovary and a amh of 8.
First round icsi, 5 eggs collected only 3 mature. But all 3 made it to blast and or first embryo put back is 23 months and sleeping next door.
Its confirmed i have stage 4 endo and probably always did. Recent mri shows it in pod, over rectum etc. Drs want a pelvic clearance (such a lovely term!) But going for ivf one last time.
Remember its quality not quantity In this ivf game. 4 follicles is a chance, it's 4 chances x
I completely relate. I have low ovarian reserve and have tried ivf twice -only for those cycles to be cancelled as the follicles never grew. Ivf is hard enough when it’s working reasonably well but to be going through it for limited results (and in my case no results!!) is just soul destroying. I really feel for you. Hopefully you will get there in the end and as you say won’t think about this torturous process!!! Sending you all the love and luck in the world xxx
Big hugs from me too. I don't know if this will help, but here goes: I have severe endo and am going through IVF. Our clinic is just over an hour away and I have been having several early morning scans (coupled with bad sleep due to the meds). I really struggled and have been crying after injecting with Menopur in the evenings in particular. Then I was talking to a friend and realised I forgot why I was doing this and that has helped me refocus and breathe. (Grounding exercises can help with that too when the anxiety kicks off and I have a cup of herbal tea)
I want to give it my best shot, no regrets. Egg removal now booked for Monday. Keeping everything crossed more follicles will ripen first...but my nurse reminded me: It only takes one egg. I struggle to buy into that, but she pointed to several of her current assigned patients who are pregnant with exactly that. They got one follicle, one egg and are pregnant.
Small steps. Take it a day at a time, if need be an hour at a time or ten minutes. You are doing it.
I am talking to my close friends because they will give me the hugs I need and hold me when I am really stressed. We can get through this. You are so very brave and strong. I struggle to remember this too, but: look at us. Let's do this on Monday. <3
Sitting here shaking after injecting with the Ovitrelle. Ye gods...the stuff we put ourselves through. But next tick on the list. Hope yours is getting smaller too.
Hope it all went well today on your side today. I also ended up with a mantra to keep calm as much as possible. This removal thing is no fun. Sore now...
I’m lucky enough to say that I’m a one follicle, one egg and one baby lady. Took about 2 years, 3 cycles and similar early morning trips up the motorway (before work!) but as you say, all worth it now as I sit here feeding my 16 week baby. There were some really tough times, with cancelled cycles due to cysts and also just nothing happening (v low AMH), so she really is my miracle baby. Ivf is truly the hardest thing I’ve been through and I wish you all the strength to carry on and achieve success-try not to worry if you only have one egg-it might just be the one! All the best and good luck. Xx
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