Forward planning our lives away! TTC life.

[Faith27]

Anyone else feel like they are always wishing their life away by constantly counting down to future appointments/treatment!?

Im actually struggling to remember what I thought or worried about before we began TTC.. what an easy life I had lol.

In need of some 'me' time I think, but that's easier said than done. What do you guys do to help yourselves with this type of thing? It's so hard to not think about things when your in limbo awaiting isn't it! And that dreaded 2ww... Oh my gosh.. don't get me started.

I'm such a social person and more often than not I'm out and about with friends and family keeping busy (not engaging in baby talk) but its always in the back of my mind and I'm always wanting time to fly to get to the next stage Xx

[sarahharas]

Hi Faith,

I totally understand what you mean. I feel like life has completely come to a halt and the only time that counts is the new cycle and the next 2ww. I did this for 1 year without any break and it nearly broke me.

I tried so many things, but the only thing that really helped was (or currently is) taking a real break. I am on a 3 week holiday without any meds, only my hubby and I enjoying beimg together and relaxing on the beach (and enjoying some delicous coctails what I could not do in a long time).

Its not that I can completely forget everything all of the time, but this mental break at least gives me my life back

xx

[Faith27 in reply to sarahharas]

It's hard Sarah isn't it! You're right though a holiday is the perfect thing to have some 'us' time including the important 'me' time! I guess it's just something that we have to accept will always be in our minds.. I relax a lot when we are trying, and then the 2 ww I start to think about everything and become very inpatient around a week before AF is due. It's the same every month lol. I hope you both are having a lovely time away. We have a holiday booked for July so I'm looking forward to that. I'm intending on getting some little minibreaks booked up too to have more things to look forward to and try to fill in the gaps! Xxx

[Hidden]

Hi Faith,

I totally understand where you are coming from, I too feel like my life is on hold, we went through 3 cycles last year and now getting ready for a FET in March, I feel like I can't forward plan anything due to not knowing what stage we are at and also because we have had to self fund every cycle don't want to spend money on going out. Sorry not really helping am I....but I do find going to the gym,nice walks and meditation do relax me and take my mind off things for a while xx

[Faith27 in reply to Hidden]

Hi Claire you are helping because it's just nice to know your feelings are normal sometimes and that you're not alone! During our first year TTC we amended and cancelled holidays that we had booked, we postponed a move abroad just in case, we cancelled lots of plans and rearranged many of things 'just in case'.. with every plan that came around then it just added to the disappointment so we have continued with life and plans since then just as we would which has been quite helpful but I'm aware when we are in treatment cycles it's going to get tough again with having to rearrange things. And work.. I'm quite anxious about talking to my boss (even though we have such a good relationship and she's very understanding) we have quite a small team and so flexibility is often not possible so I guess that's on my mind at the minute too. I think I'll start taking up walking and take my boy Snoopy (dog) with me. That's a good idea. Thank you xx good luck for March! Xx

[Hidden in reply to Faith27]

Thankyou I will keep everyone updated.

It's nice that you have a good relationship with your boss, I felt a huge relief when I told mine and it helped when I had to go to appointments and book last minute leave so it maybe worth broaching the subject xx

[Faith27 in reply to Hidden]

Yeah definitely going to have to tell her shortly. Thank you xxx

[Kat9lives]

Totally agree Faith!! I became obsessed with dates and plans and planning! The 2ww is hellish... I ended up watching back to back box sets after taking time off work. 😂 Currently in limbo land waiting for dates to start based on a period that won't or might appear... The joys of IVF! 😂 Good luck with your journey! Xx

[Faith27 in reply to Kat9lives]

Box sets are a really good distraction! Good old Netflix has been working wonders in the evenings (especially during AF this week) . Awww the time you actually want or need your period and it's keeping you waiting - that really sucks!! Thanks for your well wishes, good luck for you too xx

[aamiller405]

I def know the feeling.. i feel like the last 3 years have been consumed with TTC. And I definitely feel like a different, less fun person.. i suppose a lot of that is down to always being off alcohol to help our chances.

Socialising with my friends always involved going out drinking and so now that I dont do that i rarely see them, which is sad.

And i can never commit to any plans like holidays or hen parties because i dont know what stage well be at

I just hope that when we finally manahe to have a baby ill get back to my old self! I know i shouldnt let it consume me but ive found that impossible. But i just hold on to hope that it will all be worth it in the end.

Sorry that was a rather unhelpful moany post! lol xo

[Faith27 in reply to aamiller405]

It's such a juggle trying to continue as normal and enjoy fun times when you have it constantly in the back of your mind! I would say though to still try and arrange a night out again with the girls - perhaps at a time of the month when your scheduled to sadly be on AF. That way, when you're feeling down you can still go out, enjoy yourself and forget about TTC.. And if AF doesn't arrive.. Well I guess this would be amazing and you can celebrate in other ways and cancel your boozy night out without guilt lol. Try to still do what makes you feel like you hun - it's important xx I guess we will always have such a big wish in the back of our minds- that's why we are on this horrendous journey, because we want it so badly. Its got to be natural hasn't it xx

[aamiller405 in reply to Faith27]

thank you for taking the time to reply.. were finally about to start our first cycle so fingers crossed! and best of luck on your journey xo

[Faith27 in reply to aamiller405]

Exciting!! That must feel like a huge step forward after 4 years of trying. All the best xx