Worried: In the run up to our FET... - Fertility Network UK

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In the run up to our FET. Feeling worried it won't work again and not sure what will happen next. We're v lucky to have several donor egg embryos in the freezer but it scares me silly to think we'll need to go through it again if it doesn't work this time. How many times can we go through it? I don't think I have it in me. I feel really unhappy a lot of the time just waiting, life on hold and meaningless. I know I'll need a good break if it doesn't work this time. Time to live a little - I'm sick of being good with no end in sight. It makes me feel selfish to think I might not have it in me to keep trying with our Frosties. I guess I can only do what I can do. We'll give it our best shot this time and see what happens and then take a good break if it doesn't and hope I find the strength again to try again. Sorry for the rambling ranty pity party post - weekends are always hard when we have to live like nuns. I guess I'm just feeling fearful about our FET Xx

28 Replies

So sorry you're feeling so down. Try and do something fun this weekend Hun and take your life off pause. You still need to enjoy yourself. I know it's easier said than done though.

I am wishing you so much luck with your next round and hope your frostie gets you your bfp xxx

Thank you hun. I'm sure I'll feel better after a good night's sleep and I'm probably exaggerating about feeling unhappy all the time. I'm just fed up today. Got a christening to go to tomorrow for friends two children which is a bit of a pain but not gonna stay too long then drinks with an old friend who's moving up north in the evening - though I can't drink. Feeling properly sorry for myself! Staying overnight in a hotel with hub so will do something nice for us on Sunday. Need to snap out of this mood and get my positive pants back on. Thanks for your good wishes. How are you? Xx

A christening won't be easy. Treat yourself to a small wine if you can.

It's a tough time so your bound to have off days. Dust off those positive pants and have a good weekend Hun.

Am really good thanks for asking. Being monitored every 2 weeks but have a healthy active 16+4 bean growing away.

Hope you feel better soon. Big hugs xxx

That's brilliant! Wow 16 weeks already! So exciting! I'm so glad all is well.

Yes I'm sure I'll be fine I think maybe I'm just psyching myself up too. Just needed to blurt my fears out. Always feels a bit better after. Thank you xx

Wow , I feel exactly the same as you , start out next FET with DE in oct. Part of me wanted to postpone till Nov as I too am so worried about it failing again.

But we need to dust ourselves off , stay positive & keep eveything crossed 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻.

Sending you much love 😘 xxx

Thanks Tish. To you too. It is a scary business but we can do it! Gonna go to bed and hope I get out of the right side of it tomorrow xx

You will & tomorrow is another day. 😘 xxx

Thinking of you and really hoping you get your BFP this time. Don't be hard on yourself this is an incredibly hard journey to travel and we are all here for you xxxx

Thank you 💕 Hope all is good with you xx fingers crossed 🤞🤞🤞

Sorry you are feeling lousy and no need to apologise for the pity post - what you're going through is incredibly tough. Hope the weekend and spending some quality time with your hubby Sunday helps. Thinking of you xx

Thank you Hun - feeling a lot better today. Gonna do some nice things and try to get my positive pants back on. Hope all is good with you xx

Can I join the pity party? I'm feeling the exact same as you. Actually feel like I could have written this post. It's so tough eh?

I can't seem to feel any positivity, I really want to, but I just can't seem to 😢

I really hope we'll be celebrating good news in a few weeks, we so deserve this!! 💙 🌈 💜 Xxx

Hi there yes it's really tough and we're bound to have days like this but am really gonna try to get my positive pants back on - and yes let's hope this is our time 🤞❤️🌈💜💙

Sorry your feeling so down, this journey is such an emotional rollercoaster and it's understandable how your feeling. Don't be to hard on yourself though, your doing everything you can and I really hope this is your BFP. Maybe you could go out for dinner or do something you enjoy over the weekend xx

Fredaflintstone in reply to E_05

Thank you Hun. 🤞 Feeling a lot better today. Gonna go out for dinner later between the christening and friends drinks, where I'll be on the lime and soda. Hope all is good with you xxx

E_05 in reply to Fredaflintstone

Oh good, sounds lovely hope you enjoy it. I'm okay thanks analysing every feeling but very grateful still Xx

Sorry to hear how you are feeling Fredaflintstone. I totally get what you mean about life being on hold and never fully feeling happy or present. Joining the pity party too... I had a glass of champagne on my 30th birthday last weekend and spent the next day absolutely beating myself up over it - what if this is the reason my cycle fails, I am a terrible person for doing it, I obviously can't care that much, etc, etc. But... with my rational head on, I know that the odd treat is NOT going to be the reason why my cycle fails. You have been through so much and you deserve some fun and happiness along the way. So I agree with the others, do something for you this weekend. And ok, I know you can't go out and sample the cocktail menu (unfortunately) but you could maybe do something nice with your partner like a nice meal, cinema, go shopping and treat yourself to something. If all else fails, buy yourself some mags (the trashier the better in my opinion), pick your favourite treat and have some quality relaxation time! Hope today is a little brighter for you ☀️. Xx

Fredaflintstone in reply to Lou9

I'm sure a glass of champers won't hurt at all. It's important to look after your happiness too! Happy belated 30th birthday! I love your ideas. Definitely going to do some of them this weekend!A also feeling a lot better for a good sleep and some perspective. for a Wishing you all the best for your cycle xxx

I totally get how you feel. I feel like I have given up on our frosties then feel so guilty about that. .it is just so hard to keep going after so many bfns I kind of feel so blaze about my fet next month then I also feel so fed up as been on this journey for 3 years now and kind of just want to know where my life is going. Please don't beat yourself up about feeling this way and I hope you got up this morning feeling a bit better but christening. .these kind of things are always tough. Great advice from ladies below ...me and dh are off to cinema again tonight..never been to cibema as much before all this😂take care xxxxx

Thanks Vic. After all you have been through its totally understandable you'll be feeling a bit numb from it all. I hope you begin to feel more positive as yiur FET comes closer. I'm feeling a lot better this morning and am gong to do the meditations again to try to keep going. Have a lovely weekend - what film are you going to see? Take care too. You're doing really well xxxx

Thanks hun and so are you..just back from yoga...I find meditation and mindfulness so helpful. Off to see IT so not relaxing at all 😨😨😨take care xxxx

I feel exactly the same! About to start my 3rd go, FET this time, I just can't see it working! It's like your whole life is on hold. This weekend I'm going to nice meals, long walks and shopping! All things that don't involve drinking! Hope you are feeling more positive today x

Fredaflintstone in reply to Se99

Thank you Se99. I know that feeling well. I've found the ivf meditations to be quite good and worth a try. Wishing you lots of luck for your FET. Enjoy your weekend. Hope it helps you to feel more positive xx

It really is an emotional rollercoaster! I'm having a good day today and feeling really positive. I know it's not for everyone but have you tried a bit of counselling? I found it really helped a lot and I'm so much more capable emotionally to take on my FET next week.

Be kind to yourself hun xx

Thanks Hayley - yes I've had counselling before and did find it helpful. I may look back into it. Good luck with your FET xx

Hello all am feeling a lot better today after a good sleep. We're going to have a nice meal somewhere between the christening and my friend's leaving drinks and then stay over in a hotel in an area we're going to check out for a possible future move. So we've got some things for us peppered through the weekend. I love all your suggestions! I may try to fit in a film tomorrow eve too. I guess it's only natural to worry sometimes. Going to get back on the ivf meditations - I find they really do help. Thank you for all your support. Xxx

7AVA in reply to Fredaflintstone

I've been feeling the same about my upcoming FET but I'm very glad to hear you're feeling better today. Enjoy your weekend and all the very best for your upcoming FET xxxx

Glad your doing something for yourselves today aswel. Your feelings are all normal and remember how strong you are you might not feel it at times but you are. Life's tough and this process you lovely ladies go through is tougher shows you have great strength. Your time will happen. Hope everything works out for you hun really do. Just remember to try keep yourselves happy it helps you both mentally and physically like what yous are doing today do more often keep yourselves occupied enjoy life. Hope you have a lovely day despite the obstacle take good care of yourselves and have a laugh.💗🤗😘

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