How can I possibly get over the unfairness of it all?!! Self pity party going on here but I can’t seem to snap out of it today. I’ve been so proud of myself recently too, getting myself healthy ready for another round in Jan, plus I got through my last period with very few tears! Then bam, I’m knocked flat back down with another announcement!
These are two of our closest friends who already have a 3 year old (who “just happened”)! And are now expecting baby number 2 in the time it’s taken us to not even come close to having one.
I’m already on tenterhooks while my little sister (who is 10 years younger than me) is going in for EC tomorrow. I desperately want IVF to work for her first time but I’m terrified of what it will do to me. I’m trying to be as supportive as possible although my husband is angry saying she never supported me, so doesn’t want to hear anything about what’s going on for them. So I’m feeling incredibly alone at the moment.
I’m meant to be spending Christmas Day with my sister then Boxing Day with these friends but at the moment I’m seriously considering if I can cope with either. I just want to suggest a holiday away with my husband, what do you all think? What would you do?
I know you’ve all been through it and some days we can be ok but today I’m not and can’t see when I’ll feel able to cope again!
Blimmin’ infertility really sucks!
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Franco81
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Not at all a pity party- totally understandable feelings.
We watched every friend & family member have a baby. We wondered whether it would ever be our turn- it didn’t feel like it would ever happen for us.
Whilst we were happy for others we were bitterly upset for our situation, everyone made it look so easy!
You must put yourselves first & do whatever feels right for you. Don’t feel bad if you can’t be around pregnant ladies- I couldn’t be either. Maybe a breakaway before treatment will do you both the world of good.
I know it’s hard ( Christmas brings it into focus more) try to enjoy Christmas together, however you decide to do it. January will be here before you know it! And I hope next Christmas you either have a bouncy baby or are expecting. Your time will come ( like ours has) it is a difficult journey but you will get through it xoxo 😘
We did Christmas away last year with just the two of us and our lovely Goldie as it was getting too much for me. It was just what we needed and we realised in 10 years together we had never had a Christmas alone but always travelling hundreds of miles to see everyone else and no one coming to see us. It was so refreshing and relaxing and made me feel better for our ivf round which I am very grateful to say has been successful and now Christmas 2019 we will have a new addition to our family. Book a break and get some time to yourselves xx
I totally understand how you feel. I feel like every time I catch up with a friend it’s for her to tell me she’s pregnant. The feelings are so complicated - happy for them, but so bitter for me. I can’t help but feel it’s so unfair! But we’re all on our own journey I guess and I’m sure mine will make me stronger and better in the end.
I try and remind myself to do what I need and look after myself and my husband. So I think the Christmas away by yourselves sounds amazing! We are doing this too. Look after yourself and if you need to keep a low profile for a while it is absolutely fine to do that.
Yes! And I can’t wait. We’re going to New Zealand for my best friend’s wedding and going to have a Xmas bbq on the beach. Refusing to put my life on hold! Xx
Thank you, I’ve nearly forgotten the person I used to be and that happy couple we were! Life’s so cruel sometimes isn’t it but I’m hanging on to our dream somehow xx
Sorry you’re feeling so alone at the moment. Sending you a really big hug 🥰
I understand completely why you’re doubting you can cope with those Christmas arrangements! I’d chat it through with your husband and if you’re both in agreement maybe spend the time away just the two of you.
I also get what you’re saying about your wee sister. I feel like such a horrible person sometimes, someone in my family had a baby recently after having IVF for the first time. Now another family member is going through a round. Obviously I want it to work for them but don’t know how I’ll react either 😕 Like you say, infertility sucks xxx
Ah it’s so awful isn’t it! It makes me hate the person I’ve become. I really want to be happy for others but it just reminds me of all I’ve lost and how it should have been for us but isn’t.
My husband seems up for Christmas away and has been looking at where we could go! I didn’t expect that!!
Go on holiday! Because if your next round works (keep the faith that it will) then you won’t be having lovely romantic holidays with the hubbie any more. Make it a really special one x
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