How bad is stress during FET?

[Orla9298]

I’m a few days (maybe 5) off transferring our only good embryo, in a natural transfer.

Yesterday I had one of the most stressful days ever, to cut a long story short we bought a house 2 years ago, a 4 storey Georgian house, fully renovated, and it has sound proofing issues. The developer agreed to rectify it and we had to move out so we are living in my mums for 4 weeks. (2 weeks in so far and it has meant daily site visits and phone calls for us). The house is now a total uninhabitable building site and they slapped a waiver of liability form in front of us yesterday that in case it doesn’t fix the problem, and pulled all 14 workers unless we sign (this is a £50k project!). Can’t believe they did it half way through!

Obviously that’s not what I’m here for advice about, but just giving an idea of stress! today we need to speak to a lawyer and yesterday my blood pressure must have been through the roof, I had really high pulse rate and anxiety feelings, lots of tears, and a stress rash up my neck. And this was all 30 mins before my final miscarriage clinic follow up so I also had to go straight to that! I had the anxiety feeling all day and evening.

I’m worried that raised stress hormones will be bad so close to transfer and of course, Dr Google said that raised cortisol affects implantation 🙈 does anyone know anything, or maybe Diane? I would hate to delay... but don’t want to ruin our chances.

I think ultimately we are going to sign, maybe just with an alteration to one of the clauses, and me and my husband have agreed that we will instruct the builders that no one is to contact me with anything from now onwards, all is to go through him. So maybe I can now keep myself protected from stress, but I’m not 100% sure.

[vic77]

Oh no hun that is awful and awful timing...I think going through your hubby is best however I would probably still stress if it were me. I guess all you can do is try your best to remain calm..what will be will be with the house and you getting stressed won't change that sadly. also remember those whole thing is a game of chance..soooooo many variables and you must never blame yourself if it doesn't work out..could you try to appeal to these shitty developers compassionate side and tell them the truth of what you are going through and yes legal advice..idiots. .sending hugs xx

[Orla9298 in reply to vic77]

I have already told them, hey are fully aware that I’m in the middle of an ivf and that Jon has brain surgery on 4th August!! 😡

I’m seeing my consultant at 11.30 today for my next scan so will talk to him. Desperately want to go ahead 😱

[Cinderella5 in reply to Orla9298]

Oh jeezo Orla as if you dont have enough on your hands at the moment! Wishing your other half all the best, hope surgery goes well! Thinking of you both!xx

[Orla9298 in reply to Cinderella5]

Thank you! He has 2 areas where he is at risk of a bleed. He had the same procedure in April on the first one which all went well, just 3 weeks off work. This next one is a little trickier but hopefully will go just as well and then we can relax!xx

[Cinderella5 in reply to Orla9298]

Im glad to hear that they have things under control, quite a scary prospect though! You'll must be glad to be close to seeing it all done! My other half had a brain aneurysm haemorrhage around 10 years ago but doing just fine now!xx

[Orla9298 in reply to Cinderella5]

Glad he is fine! Medicine is amazing the things that people recover from these days which years ago would have been the end! Jon had a stroke which is how we found out, and he is absolutely fine now too!xx

[GiantPanda]

Hi Orla. As usual I can't offer you any advice on the FET, builders or for your other recent post, but I just wanted to wish you well. Sounds like an absolute nightmare at the moment (and having had to move in with my inlaws for a few months while waiting for a house move, I know being back with the parents isn't always a walk in the park!). I've done some work in mental health and know that stress can have knock on physical effects (but no idea how this might affect implantation). The more you can do to reduce stress levels the better and it sounds like you're already taking steps. Brownie points to your DH for taking on the builders. When I was last having a v anxious period (ref living with inlaws above 😉) I found doing some mindfulness exercises useful, particularly an NHS approved short vid called Beditation to help me relax before bed. Hoping you feel a bit better soon and best of luck for your transfer! Xxx

[Orla9298 in reply to GiantPanda]

Thank you for the recommendation, I will definitely check out the Beditation video. I slept like a log last night, think I was mentally exhausted!!

I’m quite lucky that my mum and dad have a massive house so we have two bedrooms, a living room and bathroom all to ourselves but it’s hard having our rescue dog here!x

[destiny121]

Hi orla, stress will always be with us on this journey let alone with the added extras of everyday life on top. Are you using any mindful apps? Accupunture or massages... i would try to do that as it really helps to destress the body as our minds and body are so connected.... it may just help xx

[Cinderella5]

Hey Orla, what a flipping nightmare you're having and what an idiot (being polite on here) that developer is! 🤬 I think if you are ok handing everything over to your husband to deal with then that's a great idea, I'd still be freaking out and needing to know everything that was going on....nosey! Ha ha ha No but seriously if it helps to keep you calm then this is all good. I do however think that although people tell you stress doesnt help, that IVF success is just a huge lottery and think there isnt all that much we can do to influence the outcome, good or bad. If you believe that it could hamper your chances I would consider cancelling, you dont want to have any regrets. See what the consultant thinks too. Sending hugs!xx

[precioce]

Hi Orla, best of luck for the transfer when it happens. I don't have any advice per se. I will say though that I was convinced I had ruined our last round of treatment when 2 days after transfer I fell over and dislocated my elbow. I spent two and a half hours on the pavement in the cold before an ambulance crew arrived with painkillers and managed to get me up and in their car and to hospital. Then I had to have xrays and very strong drugs plus sedation to put my arm back in. After all that trauma and stress I was convinced it hadn't worked, especially as our history wasn't exactly positive. We had just the one embryo from that treatment and I am now nearly 22 weeks pregnant. Please don't give up. The body is a strange and wonderful thing. That said, definitely get your husband to deal with the builders at least.xx

[vic77]

some people have no compassion😡😡😡. so sorry too as I didn't know about Jon. ..hugs xxx

[Hidden]

Hi Orla, please don’t worry about it affecting your transfer! I’ve been living at my mum’s for a yr and a half (only just moved into our new home) and we’d have similar nightmares to deal with from planning permission issues to budget going through the roof etc etc. You’re doing the right thing by transferring it over to your husband but if stress affected pregnancies none of us would ever get there. Women giving birth in war zones etc. As cortisol can sore and it showed up v high in my bloods it never stopped my bfp’s. Try some meditation exercises on you tube when you can as they really help. Good luck xxx

[Orla9298 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you, that’s really reassuring! Xx

[Tugsgirl]

I don’t know if you’re on Facebook but I read this link yesterday and if you can view it then maybe it will help allay your fears

facebook.com/37406981631619...

Good luck with everything xx

[Orla9298 in reply to Tugsgirl]

Thank you, I’ll take a look! Xx

[Lizzielizzielizzie]

My clinic was running a research project to look at the effects of cortisol on ivf so it’s by no means a definite link, they’re still researching the impacts of stress. I think the quality of the embryo is far more significant. Good luck xx