Hi lovely ladies,
Looking for some reassurance...doing our first ivf cycle and feeling very isolated like no one really gets it. Even my DH, bless him, it doesn’t feel like anythings changed for him- it feels like I’M doing IVF on my own as opposed to going through this as a couple. Is this just the hormones turning me into a mess???
Thanks all xx
Hi hun, ah I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling isolated, but I totally understand. I felt the same through lots of my treatment. Friends and family and even DHs can empathise but unless you’ve been through this battle people just don’t really get it. That’s why I wish I’d signed up for this forum during my first round. The ladies on here are amazing! They never judge and are always here. I found it really helped reading / chatting to people who are going through the same thing.
I think with DHs it’s tricky as your body is the one going through it all, they just have to stand by and watch. With me and my DH I found I could talk to him to a point but he was just such a bloke about things - very practical and logical, whereas I felt all the emotion. Don’t get me wrong he was amazing through it all, but I just learnt to not expect him to feel or react to things in the same way as me. I found a couple of people that I could talk to, but honestly in the end I think I just shut it off to help me cope as couldn’t keep having the same conversations over and over again.
Anyway I guess what I’m trying to say is that I totally get it any that tho you might feel isolated you are not alone! Here to chat anytime xxxx take care and massive luck for your treatment! Xxx 🤞🤞🤞
Everything you have said I completely get! Thank you for replying, I’m glad this forum is here ♥️
Hi Rachwithers, sorry you’re feeling lonely. It’s a difficult journey and really stressful and can be isolating. In particular because it is you that is subject to the medication, injecting, and the treatment.
Have you tried including him in the process, such as helping you with injections or organizing your daily medical protocol? I had my husband help with organizing the medicine and having him watch while I do the injections (albeit he is very squeamish) whenever we both at home together.
I think sometimes they just don’t know what to do, so they take a step back. Which leaves us feeling isolated. Wishing the two of you the very best xx
What you say is true, but I am also struggling with how to include him. He starts work early so isn’t here for my injection...think what it boils down to is the fact that I feel that I’m having to be really strong at the moment, on my own, and I’m not feeling very strong at the moment xxx
I agree with this totally too. I got my DH to help with injections and be there. I think including them can help them understand what you are going though. We are on our 2ww now and I think he is more anxious than me and I’m anxious. Talking to them and involving them I think can help but blokes will be blokes. I totally get how you feel especially when for me none of my friends who are close by have been through this so they don’t get how you feel and what you are going through. Good luck Hun xx
I felt exactly the same! I got annoyed that I had to do all the injections, tablets, lose weight. I'd be the one reminding him to take his vitamins, otherwise he wouldn't take them. Even with appointments, he said, do I have to go to all of them!!! It took me until my first appointment on my own to say that I was annoyed because everyone else in the waiting room was in a couple! And to top it off we're having treatment because of his poor sperm lol. So totally get where you are coming from. But do talk to him and include him, my husband said.. All you have to do is ask! Men 😂
Hormones will mess with you a bit, I think I was a bit more sensitive.
But you're not alone on here. I've only been on this site a few days and everyone has been so lovely and helpful. It's good to talk to people that know what you're going through! 💙
Good luck and feel free to chat any time.. Xx
Thank you lovely, they have no bloody idea do they? 😂 haha xxx
No they can be a bit oblivious at times!!! Haha. Xx
Hello! Don’t worry, you are not alone. I am in my first cycle and I have been so grateful to this forum- so keep coming back because everyone is so supportive.
No one in the real world will really get it, and why should they? unless you have been through it there is no other experience that is similar or relatable. You have to be tough to handle all of this and I am sure you will be xx
You’re completely right. Where are you in your first cycle? Thank you cx
Had egg collection yesterday- currently recovering xx
It is an extremely lonely journey 😩 I feel my friends ask how I am but don’t fully understand and I always get the usual comments (it will all be worth it, it won’t last forever etc) I know they are trying to be supportive but can’t help but feel alone.
My husband is so supportive, he tries and fails to understand what my body is going through but all the same he does try.
Everyone is so supportive and friendly on here, use this site for as much support as u need.
Good luck xx
Thank you. Good luck to you xxx
It’s my first too and so daunting. My partner and mum have been great but nobody can understand until they go through it themselves. It’s an emotional rollercoaster, much more than I thought it would be, and it feels like you’re the only person going through it until you read through this forum. It’s been a godsend for me. Keep your chin up. We’re all here!x
My post sounds really ungrateful and I’m not- hubby and parents have been so great. Guess I’m just not feeling too strong at the moment. Thanks cx
It doesn’t sound ungrateful at all. We can’t be strong every day so don’t be hard on yourself. Sending hugs.x
It is such a difficult journey and emotions all over the place you will get tonnes of support here from people who really do get it try to talk to hubby too and explain your feelings the best you can he probably just doesn't know what to do to support you hope all works well for you be kind to yourself x
Thank you ♥️ we had a good chat/meltdown last night so hopefully that will have helped xx
Hi there, Yes I know exactly how you feel and I felt the same. My DH’s didn’t mean to not get it- he was just not going through it and emotional radar is not that high!. There is a lot of pressure upon women with this process. I found I could keep a lid on it most of the time, but it can’t help but spill over at times. I had to remind myself to actually tell him if I was feeling low which helped. This forum is really great as you can share your feelings, be supported, and know that 100% others are feeling or have felt the same. Wishing you really good luck with it and keep us posted:). Xxxx
Hiya, just to say: This is totally normal and we went through the same things on our first cycle. I was even a bit cocky because I’m supremely lucky to be in a really loving supportive relationship and I thought: we’ve totally got this, it’ll be a bit tough but we’ll breeze through it. How wrong I was! We (I) had several meltdowns and learnt the hard way that talking about what you’re going through at every step of the way is essential. A friend also doing ivf told me off as I was hiding away doing my injections, she was quite right when she said I was doing this for US so I should do them in front of him. That changed things a bit, and we also just learnt masses more as we went along and have come out stronger on the other side from everything we’ve been through. Sorry to say it is a lonely old journey but this forum is AMAZING, you will find so much strength on here. And don’t underestimate the power of the hormones raging through your body - they mess you up like nobody’s business! Wishing you all the luck and always, always reach out on here if you need support 💛 x
Morning Rachwithers hope your feeling a bit better this morning. Sorry your feeling lonely. I hope the wonderful people on here have helped you feel less alone.
What you said echoes how I’ve been feeling. Like so many have already said. Which helps you realise what your feeling is normal.
I had a good old cry last night and feel better for it today. Am treating myself to a pedicure this am.
Sending you lots of love. I hope you feel like you have lots of support on here.xxxxx
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