Feeling lonely ttc

[Tryingmidwife]

Hi everyone! I’m new here and reaching out to try and find people who are in a similar situation who can empathise with our struggle ttc.

I’m 33 in a couple of months and we have been trying for nearly a year. Unfortunately we suffered a blighted ovum missed miscarriage over christmas at 11weeks and I’m really struggling to move on, which I think is mainly due to my job as a midwife.

As well as job related stress, I feel so alone in my struggle. My other half is amazing and very positive but apart from him I have no close friends to confide in as all of them (and this is no exaggeration) conceived in less than 6 months. Most of them in the first month of trying and I can tell they feel awkward trying to understand what we’re going through.

I’m surrounded by new mothers at work, and with 4 close friends having given birth in the last 6 months and 3 more currently pregnant. Two of which are due when we would have also been having the baby that we lost.

I hate to sound like I’m being dramatic but I feel like I’m living in a cruel dream where everyone is a mum except me and it’s making me feel a bit crazy. It’s like torture.

My mum and boyfriend suggested trying to find people online to talk to so here I am.

Hoping to find some fertility friends! 🤞🏻☺️

Xx

[CharlieW1985]

Morning...

I totally get where you are coming from and how incredibly hard it must be working in you're field with fertility struggles.

My husband and have been trying for around 2 years with no luck. In that time I've seen 2 nieces born and it's incredibly hard seeing and hearing about it. It's strange, we spend most of our lives avoiding pregnancy and when you want it, it seems such a difficult thing to achieve. Have you been tested for you're fertility issues? I recently recovered from a laparoscopy in which they managed to clear one of my two blocked fallopian tubes. But still not having any success. I am worried time will run out for us... As we would have to pay privately for any ivf. It feels as though for everyone around you it's so easy and it is torture for those who are struggling like ourselves. I have even avoided seeing one of my nieces as the pain of seeing her puts me to tears, I know it's not the babies fault but my emotions just over power me most of the time. I'm here if you want to talk xx

[Jenjen84]

Hello,

I understand how your feeling, we’ve been trying now for 3.5 years and everyone around us manages to get pregnant within 6 months too! My best friend is about to drop and another one has just very sympathetically text to say how sorry she is to be 4 months pregnant! It’s hard to hear sometimes. I think the hardest thing for me is the sympathy and shear awkwardness people feel when telling me as if I’m their only ‘Infertile friend!’..

I’m sorry about your miscarriage, they suck big time! We suffered a missed miscarriage last year after our 2nd ivf transfer.. It was so hard. My assistant at work had their baby a day after mine was due so hearing the low down at every stage broke me!

I think you are incredibly strong with your job as that must be so testing at times and it’s very difficult when you feel so alone. Over the years I’ve learnt to be quite open about our struggles and have found it has helped a lot and although my close friends have never experienced first hand what we’re going through, they have all been there when I’ve needed them the most.

Not sure what your reason for infertility is, ours is anatomical (I have a unicornuate uterus which means half sized, one ovary attached and one Fallopian tube) and they have said unexplained in nature.. Were 2 ivf cycles in, 4 transfers, 2 BFN, 2 pregnancies, (1 MMC and currently 5 weeks and anxiously waiting for the 7 week scan).

It’s a tough journey but I am hoping that with sheer determination of not giving up, I will get there one day.. I hope you do too.. This forum is full of lovely ladies in similar positions and although I don’t post frequently, I see that there is always so much help, advice and lovely pick me ups from the various ladies on here. It’s a good place to be if your feeling lonely or in need of a friendly chat.

I really hope things start to pick up soon and if your ever in need of a friendly chat, feel free to message me. Take care and best wishes for the future xxx

[Drives]

Morning and welcome to the forum. I've found it so helpful being on here. The community is so supportive. When I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed or alone it's really helped to share how I'm feeling and get support from others in a similar situation.

You sound incredibly strong - your job must be so difficult whilst you're on this journey and grieving a loss. It's hard enough anyway!

I wish you all the best and if you ever need a chat, drop me a message. Good luck and take care of yourself 🍀 x x x

[SunnyDream]

Hello Tryingmidwife! You know, here are many of us who is in the same boat as you. You are not alone and you need someone to talk to, you are welcome. I've been ttc for 5 years and went through an IVF cycle with my own eggs and an ICSI with DE. Mentally it is hard and physically it is exhausting. But the hardest thing is not to stop, continue fighting and not lose the hope! Everything will be very good sooner or later so keep going! I wish you all my best and warmest vibes!

xx

[Ruby92]

Hey I’m so pleased you have reached out to the forum because it is honestly just the best place. I don’t know what I would have done without it and all the ladies on here are so amazing and supportive of one another! I, at times, feel so alone on this TTC journey because even though I have loads of lovely friends and family I don’t want to talk to them about it as it feels so personal but this forum is fab for asking questions or just needing a vent!

I really sympathise with the job you do as there is no getting away from pregnancy and birth and that must be very difficult for you. Have you chatted with your manager just so they are aware if you’re having a bad day?

I don’t think you sound dramatic at all and I think we have all absolutely been in your situation or still are when you feel like you’re the only one. None of my friends or family have had fertility issues either and I regularly sob to my partner saying no one will ever understand how hard it is if they haven’t been through it and I still think that’s true.

We’ve been TTC for 1.5 years and it’s just so so hard. Here any time you want to chat and wishing you so much luck and baby dust ✨

R x

[Core]

Hi, welcome. This is such a difficult journey but this forum isa great place for friendship and support. We’ve been ttc for 3 and a half years now with unexplained infertility and 2 failed FETs with IVF.

Have you seen a doctor recently for advice?xx

[Kiedy84]

Hi welcome to the forum, I think this is the only place where we can share things and know for sure we will be understood 🤗 I am starting my first injection on Monday after 2.5 years of trying naturally and everyone around us getting pregnant no probs.

Have you been referred to a fertility clinic by your GP yet? xx