I think I just need to get my thoughts out today..it's one of 'those' days (weeks really π) I am currently on prostap for three months before we start our 4th IVF cycle following all 3 previous cycles failing last year (prostap can apparently help increase success for those with endometriosis) I've been reluctant to go back on it, having been on it before for my endo because it made me feel so rubbish but we feel we've tried everything else we possibly could. It works in the same way as buserelin, shutting everything down but 3 months of it feels like an eternity right now.
I'm just feeling low and tearful and wondering if this IVF game will ever result in the one thing we want so much. It's one of those times where it feels so dreadfully unfair that we have to (and have done) go through so much, without the guarantee of success.
This may be our final round of IVF and I'm just feeling so scared of what the future holds if it doesn't work or we don't have any frosties from the next cycle, like we didn't last time. We have had my godson for a few days and I love him to bits and had a great time with him but it's just left me feeling even more sad that that's not our life, we want that so much and now the house feels depressingly quiet..
I'm sorry that this is such a moany post, I'm just feeling sad and fearful and wanted to not feel so alone. I know it's likely just the medication making me feel this way and I need to stay positive for our next cycle but gosh it's all feels so hard. Thanks for listening xx
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Georgina78
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Please never say sorry to us, we know exactly how you feel so you can be honest and share all your feelings on here.
You are bound to have bad days like this, you have been through so much and the medication really does take its toll π But please keep taking things one day at a time and believe you are working towards a fabulous future. I know it's hard wondering 'what if' but maybe try to put that to the back of your mind, to deal with if and when you have to.
Be kind to yourself, find some things that make you happy (even if it's as simple as a chocolate bar!) and always reach out of you need support. You are not alone xxx
Thanks so much for your reply Daisy-Mae and some good advice. I know I need to take things a day at a time because they're not all like this but overthinking can be something I struggle with! Never more than during this infertility roller coaster mind π
Thank you, I feel like I am a little addicted to this forum which may sound strange but it has been part of my life for years now. I also got so much comfort from others when I was having my darkest days so I feel like if I can offer some support back then it's a good thing.
It's natural to overthink, we would not be human if we didn't. Everything you are feeling and doing is completely normal. I hope you start to feel better soon xxx
It's OK to have a down day or week. You don't need to justify an off load post. It's normal to feel anxious about the results of treatment and thinking ahead of the current stage. I think it's worse the more times you go through it. I found waiting to start treatment harder than the actual treatment. Hopefully the prostrap will do the trick for this round. Try not to think too far ahead, easier said than done!
Thank you pm, I agree that the waiting is worse, at least you feel less in limbo land when it's actually underway. I also think it's worse with every cycle, you just can't help feeling jaded by failures.
Hope you're feeling a little brighter today Georgina. It's no wonder you're feeling low after everything you've been through, we can't be strong all of the time. Be kind to yourself. Sending lots of love x x x
Thank you mommabear, I have felt better than I did on Thursday but then I've not had a minute so I don't know if it's that. We're gonna have days like that I guess, I just hate them!
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