Well it’s the start of our last ivf and to say mixed feelings is an understatement. Embryos not so great, on steroids as killer cells slightly high so all in all not high chances.
I feel really mixed. Last time I did everything perfectly and had perfect results and scans then miscarried. I think I’m scared but almost relieved to get to the end of this journey one way or the other, does that sound bad? I feel a bit rebellious in terms of wanting the odd glass of wine thinking but feel relaxed even after a few sips. I want my life again whichever way, a life where I can plan knowing what’s happening, a life not discussing my period with my husband or every other thing that happens on this journey. A life of fun without feeling my body is letting me down or I’m letting my husband down.
When we were asked if we wanted counseling I said no, why would I want that! In truth nothing prepares you for this journey or every time you get over one hurdle your met by another
Hopefully I’m not alone with my thought process 🙈 Anyway this time round I won’t do updates just wanted to have a little “ I’m scared and exhausted rant” and wish each and everyone of you success and happiness xxx