Final round mixed feelings

Well it’s the start of our last ivf and to say mixed feelings is an understatement. Embryos not so great, on steroids as killer cells slightly high so all in all not high chances.

I feel really mixed. Last time I did everything perfectly and had perfect results and scans then miscarried. I think I’m scared but almost relieved to get to the end of this journey one way or the other, does that sound bad? I feel a bit rebellious in terms of wanting the odd glass of wine thinking but feel relaxed even after a few sips. I want my life again whichever way, a life where I can plan knowing what’s happening, a life not discussing my period with my husband or every other thing that happens on this journey. A life of fun without feeling my body is letting me down or I’m letting my husband down.

When we were asked if we wanted counseling I said no, why would I want that! In truth nothing prepares you for this journey or every time you get over one hurdle your met by another

Hopefully I’m not alone with my thought process 🙈 Anyway this time round I won’t do updates just wanted to have a little “ I’m scared and exhausted rant” and wish each and everyone of you success and happiness xxx

[Kari55]

Totally understandable that you have mixed feelings about the whole journey and that you want to know one way or another. I wish you all the best for this IVF round. Also, not sure if you are into this but I use a meditation app called Insight Timer and find 2 particular guided meditation by Sarah Blondin - Surrender and Healing through letting go. This journey is traumatic but I believe we can all grow regardless of the outcome. Sending hugs xx

[Hidden in reply to Kari55]

Thank you lovely I will have a look at the app. I think I’m doing what I do best is being an ostrich and sticking my head in the sand. I’m going through the process but trying to avoid any emotion with it to stop hurting if it fails which is silly because I know I still will hurt. Goodness I make it hard for myself lol. The app sounds maybe just what I need.

You are on such a big journey too so thank you for the time in your reply and lots and lots of luck to you and your hubby xxx

[Hidden]

I totally get you, gets to a point when you realise that your are over it not that you don’t want it just....

I contemplating a round 9 but I just don’t know if I can’t take another BFN

GOOD luck

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Round 9!! You are amazing I have everything crossed for you. Thanks for your reply it’s good to know I’m not mad or bad in how I feel. The whole process is so consuming. I wish you lots of luck my lovely xxxx

[AllWeNeedIsluv]

Thinking of you lovely really hope this is the happy ending you really so deserve. Big hugs and lots of love 😘💝

[Hidden in reply to AllWeNeedIsluv]

Thank you lovely. And I hope you keep well and look forward to your bump updates. It was so lovely to see your scan pics showing all perfect 💕💕💕

[AllWeNeedIsluv in reply to Hidden]

Awwwww bless you thank you hun 💝💖😘

[Noobs]

It’s only my first round so I take my hat of to you ladies that have gone on to have more. Fingers crossed that it’s your time now. Keep your chin up.x

[Hidden in reply to Noobs]

Good luck to you my lovely. My biggest bit of advice is to try not to over think everything. Hopefully something wonderful will happen for you soon xxx

[Noobs in reply to Hidden]

It’s the over thinking part that’s the worst bit isn’t it. Love your positive attitude and wishing you all the luck💪Xx

[Tugsgirl]

I just want to wish you lots and lots of luck xx

[Wishfully]

Very best of luck Hidden , will keep everything crossed for you xx

[Clare_lou]

Wishing you all the luck in the world. It could have been me writing your post, I totally understand how you’re feeling xx

[Hidden in reply to Clare_lou]

Thank you it’s goid to know it’s not just me. Good luck to you too xxx

[Hidden]

Thank you all ladies. It’s great to know I’m not alone with how I feel. Makes me feel slightly normal lol. Good luck to you all 😘😘😘😘