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Fertility Network UK
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Good news and bad news

So, the good news is that my lining is 10mm on day eleven of progynova meaning I can start utrogestan (progesterone pessaries) on Sunday ready for FET next Friday.

Bad news is that the results are back on some of hubbie’s family and his only brother has the same chromosome balanced translocation. I cried when I found out because I know the possible heartache to come for him and his fiancée. Luckily she is ten years younger than me so she has more time to tackle this, and obviously we now know that one of hubbie’s parents have it and they had two lovely children naturally. My mother in law did have two miscarriages in between her two sons but still completed her family in a total of six years trying. Whereas I’m four years trying, two miscarriages and the big 40 looming. I feel responsible for making sure they understand the choices and consequences they’re now facing but at the same time I don’t want to interfere and cause family difficulties.

In other news, one cousin’s tests have come back clear and the other cousin was told that they won’t test her as she is not in a relationship (this makes me really cross). Parents in law are being seen by genetic counsellor next week and this should shed light on whether other cousins are at risk.

Apologies for the long post, but it’s all weighing heavily on my oestrogen-riddled mind!

7 Replies

Oh goodness. Why do all these things come at once?! What a nightmare for you and Ivan understand you wanting to step in. I’d want you to step in. But I guess you don’t know if they want children? Eeeeeeesh. I really feel for you. And you’re so brave going through all this at the same time! x


They do want children and his fiancée has been advised not to have them too old as she has a lung condition. I already thought they were mad for holding off until they got a house given that information, and I suspect they were also going to wait until they were married (they haven’t set a date yet). If I’m honest I want to scream “get on with it!!!” I think all I can actually do is offer to talk them through options, then it’s their own decision.


I think you’re doing the right thing. You’ve given them the information and offered to talk it through with them. It has to be their decision when to start trying but they now know some additional things they need to take into consideration. Maybe they have already started but just don’t want to tell people as they want any announcements to be a surprise? Good luck with your upcoming cycle. You’ve done what you can for your family so put your energy into concentrating on that x


They haven’t started trying and the decision they will need to make is whether to risk trying naturally or go down the embryo testing route but I’m not sure they’ve even realised they’ve got to make thar choice. They will need genetic counselling before they decide but the chromosome issue is identical in both men so it will be similar to the genetic counselling we had.

I haven’t yet said anything to them other than explaining our situation when telling them why he had to get tested- and that wasn’t a choice, it was a clear instruction from the NHS that we must (we would have done anyway as we’ve never really hidden any of our journey). they’ve only just found out it affects them too and we only see them a few times a year as they live four hours away, so I need to think about how I start a conversation. I think I’ll probably message them.


I think you have done the right thing in telling your family, with knowledge they can make informed decisions about their future. I wish I had had my fertility tested earlier, I was oblivious to things like AMH and I tell all my female friends and my youngest sister (30) about this and to not take for granted starting a family is easy. So many things and reasons that it could be difficult. Really sorry you are dealing with all this. Love and strength xx

1 like

great news on your lining, each milestone is a mini victory!

difficult news for your brother in law & his fiancée to process, but they are so fortunate they have you both for support.

don’t forget to focus on yourself though and getting yourself nice & relaxed for your FET on friday and the weeks ahead. recommend the IVF mindfulness app & hypnotic relaxation by bree taylor molyneaux on spotify. they’ve really helped me chill out for this cycle.

sending love & positive vibes - we’re all behind you ✨💕🤞🏻


Now first of all, great news about your lining!! I’m so pleased all is looking good to go ahead on Friday.

However sad it is that your brother in law has been diagnosed with the same condition, thanks to you they now know and can decide themselves how they are going to deal with it. You’ve helped provide them with knowledge that I’m sure you would have been grateful to know when you started this journey. None of this is easy but please don’t try to take it all on yourself, you need to focus on your precious little embryo right now. Wishing you so much luck for transfer on Friday. Xx


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