Some of you know that, due to having found we need PGD, I’ve been having my latest ICSI cycle at two clinics- the one only 20 miles from my home (who I’ve used before and like) and their sister clinic who are licensed for NHS PGD about 75 miles away from home. It’s much bigger, more impersonal and generally we have not been as impressed. But I think we might be predisposed to nit-pick due to feeling like we have to use them rather than wanting to use them, and because we are out of our comfort zone.
But I don’t think I was nitpicking about poor treatment today. See what you think.
Had EC and mock ET under sedation today. Have had problems with cervix before and it’s become a real source of anxiety for me so, despite a successful cervical dilation, my previous clinic have been happy to do ET under sedation for me. The doctor today (whom I’ve never met before, barely spoke to me before the procedure and first time I’ve had such a procedure done by a man, not that this should matter but it sort of does) found the mock ET easy and said there is no clinical reason for me to have ET under sedation. I tried to have a conversation with him about this whilst in recovery (about 45 mins after my EC) and it quickly reached a point where he told me to “stop arguing” with him. My husband agreed that I was not arguing but I was trying to ask questions to understand my next steps. The doctor was not listening and was talking over me, not hearing my concerns about the emotional implications.
He had patronised the wrong person- my adrenalin kicked right in, my blood pressure shot back up (a good thing I guess) so I was able to sit up, and somehow I managed to remain calm enough to tell him that I did not appreciate being treated like a five year old and that I felt I was entitled to ask questions about my care. He backed down somewhat, began to treat me like an intelligent human and conceded that perhaps he could start an ET and if I got too stressed he could have an anaesthetist waiting outside the door to sedate me at that point!!!!!!
I gave up at this point and hubbie and I ended up complaining to the clinic director, who took it seriously and arranged for the medical director to come down and talk me through future plans. Fortunately, she agreed that I should be allowed sedation for ET even if it looked as though it was clinically not going to be a difficult transfer, and that an anaesthetist waiting outside the door was a ridiculous idea because if it got to that point I would already be too tense and stressed to have a successful ET. She’s also said that, since this is a “freeze all” cycle, we can make sure that if I get to have a frozen embryo transfer, it will be scheduled so it is not that doctor. Whom I never want to allow anywhere near my womanly bits again!
Frankly, until he grows a vagina and a retroverted uterus with pinhole cervix, and feels what it’s like to have some metal twisted around in there, plus tries out the “cervical clamp” they used on the last attempt I was awake for, he shouldn’t be pretending to know what is best for me.
I should be feeling pleased to have had 16 eggs collected and ten suitable for ICsi (previous attempts were 11 and 9 but poor maturity) but I just feel upset and emotional.
I know this post is waaay too long but I could really do with some positive affirmations that I was right to complain and that it’s not a minor thing to have a problem with conscious embryo transfer- I know it’s fine for most people but there are exceptions to every rule. I keep thinking how much worse it would be if he had been talking to someone who had experienced sexual abuse for example. You really would think a gynaecologist would know better.
Ok, rant over. And breathe!
Egg collection 
Egg collection done... feeling anxious
Egg collection done 
Survived egg collection :-) 
Nervous about conscious egg collection
