Bad news and really bad timing....

[Bex-ttc]

So I wrote last week about my slow growing embryo after having had icsi and yesterday we paid for a private scan. Unfortunately it showed there was no longer a heartbeat. We have an appointment tomorrow at the emergency gynae unit to discuss options. I think a natural miscarriage is starting, due to a brown discharge this morning (TMI sorry!). My big worry is I am due to start a new job on Monday! Bad timing or what?! Does anyone have any advice on what they think I should do? Should I wait until I've been to the hospital and see what they say, or should I call my new job now and give them a heads up? Do you think it's likely I'll be able to go to work? Monday is just induction so will be sitting around listening to lectures. Tuesday I'll be in the department (I'm a therapy radiographer). I think mentally it will be good for me to be in work, it's just whether I can manage it physically. I'll also have to commute in on the train, 50min journey.

[Hidden]

So sorry to hear this 😔. When I had a miscarriage I opted for medical management although this didn’t work (I didn’t know this at the time) but I went back to work two days later shortened days as that’s just me and I felt I couldn’t stay at home. When I did actually pass it two weeks later on a Sunday night I still went to work the next day.

It all depends on how much pain your in a bleeding as well. I felt physically fine after I thought I had passed it it’s just the emotional pain and I felt I just needed to be around people and back to reality really.

Take whatever time you need and maybe think about what you would do if you weren’t starting a new job xx

[E_05]

So sorry for your loss, I’ve had medical management and a D&C, the D&C was lot less physically painful and less bleeding so maybe that’s something worth discussing tomorrow.

I think regarding work it’s a totally personally decision as we all deal with grief differently and have different pain thresholds. Maybe wait until you’ve been tomorrow and then call your work to let them know what’s happening, thinking of you xx

[Kempton]

Sorry to hear your sad news. I think that if you have any anxieties about starting the new job you should call up and explain that you've had some bad news and you just need a few days. Explain that you are excited about the new role but family circumstances mean that you are unsure you'll be able to do your best. I think any reasonable employer would accept that and it's the truth. It's important for your own mental health you take at least a few days to come to terms with it.

Hope that you can work it out!

[Caroliono4]

Hi Bex

I'm really sorry to hear of your loss. I think you should wait til your appointment tomorrow but be prepared to tell your new work that you might need to take time off for a medical condition (you can get a sick note from the EGU which won't state why you need time off). I've had 4 miscarriages, two with medical management and two without. The first one was very distressing for me as I had about 10 days of bleeding, didn't know when on earth it was going to happen and was in a significant amount of pain from the contractions (sorry I don't want to scare you - this was just my experience) when it finally did. Having gone through that I decided on the medical management the next time as I was so incredibly worried about the unpredictability of it all and that it would happen whilst I was at work or commuting and just wanted it sorted on a specific date for my sanity.

When they go through the options at the hospital it's also worth checking when they would have availability as I found some had over a week's wait

[Tugsgirl]

Sorry for your loss xx

[Lizzielizzielizzie]

I’m so sorry for your loss.

I’ve had two natural mcs, one was fine and quick and I didn’t need time off work although my head was all over the place so my concentration was poor. My other miscarriage was very painful and I had two weeks off work before I felt physically able to go back to work (I’ve never had two weeks off work before). So it really could go either way, but if you’re happy to tell your new employers the situation (or something about the situation) then it might be wise, to cover yourself for every eventuality.