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Fertility Network UK
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Bad news and donor eggs

So the last embie didn’t make it😕 the embryologist went onto say that it would seem very unlikely that ivf would work for us using my own eggs. We are both totally in shock I think, but part of me feels relieved to have an answer of sorts. We have an appointment with our consultant on the 1st of December where we will discuss our options but it looks like donor is the next route.

Any tips or thoughts would be totally appreciated xxxx

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I’m sorry to hear about your last little embie. I hope someone on here can advise you re; donor eggs, there are plenty of ladies on here who’ve gone down that route xx

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So sorry to hear that. I hope someone is able to give some advice regarding donor eggs. Xxx

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So sorry to hear about your last embie, I hope you get some answers on here and from your consultant xx

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Sorry to hear that you've had this news, it's heartbreaking even if you are half expecting It! I was expecting it and still found it initially difficult to process after we got told I had a 5% chance with my own eggs but after making the choice, when we had our great embryos I didn't look back which I suppose shocked me a bit. Obviously there are no gurantees with DE either but we know we have upped our odds massively!!

If I can help then PM me any questions you have and don't be scared to ask anything. I've had heaps of help from others. I'll send you something too!xxx

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Thank you lovely xxx

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So sorry to hear that. Hope you are doing ok xxx

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Am sorry to hear this. Sending big hugs xx

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We used DE, feel free to message me anytime xx

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😥 so sorry to hear this. Hope your doing okay xxx

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Sorry to hear this. It will take sometime to get your head around.

We use donor eggs and I’m now pregnant with twins (at the last scan). It’s really exciting and I know I’ll love them the same though they won’t look like me.

There’s lots that good about DE- higher chances, lower health risks. I feel so grateful to have the opportunity.

Take some time to get your head in the right place and maybe have some counselling from the clinic. If you have any questions I’d be happy to help xxxx

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Thank you and congratulations! It all seems so daunting at the moment and quite surreal xxx

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It will be and still is a bit but I think that’s the case whether it’s DE or OE. Take your time xx

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Hi I am 43 and know I have no eggs of my own

At this age is there a chance of conceiving with donor eggs ? Please tell me about your experience of de

Thanks

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Hi I’m 42 and was told that donor egg pregnancies should be possible up to around 50. The chances of success are assessed using the age of the donor so they are higher than with own eggs at our ages. Xx

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Well that’s positive, so I suppose no rush as it were, I just can’t believe at 34 my eggs aren’t working!! What happened to them!!!

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It must be a huge shock! I’m older than you so not much of a surprise. Some of the ladies on here are in their 20s. Would it beworth you getting second opinion or maybe trying to do more to see if you cannot improve them eg DHEA etc? I don’t know much about that but I think others on here do xx

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Yeah I think we will give it one more shot with my eggs, I was really stressed with work and everything so I’m going to hand in my notice see if that helps. I’ve got an appointment with the consultant on the 1st so will discuss it all then xx

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It’s worth a try and reducing stress is really important too. Will work let you take a career break? Xx

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Well I’m a teacher, head of dept, and the stress is ridiculous! I’ve been wanting out but kept on because ironically I wanted the maternity pay😂 so I can always go back to teaching full time, but I think for now I’ll do some private drama teaching, take the foot off the pedal a bit! Xx

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Sounds like a great idea! Xx

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aw so sorry to hear this, just try and remember that you still have this other option of DE which may increase your chances on the whole and that the journey isnt over for you. stay strong, take some time out to make the right decisions and go with what your heart. We are all here to support one another, you are not alone. lots of hugs xxx

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Thank you so much xx

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We used donor eggs and it worked first time for us. Our daughter is now 21 months old and we wouldn’t change her for the world. She is just perfect and all ours. Feel free to message me with any questions. Good luck xx

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Hey, am so sorry to hear that it hasn't worked and I know how awful it can feel. We had 2 tries with oe before we went down the de route and it's the best thing we did. I am currently 26 weeks pregnant with out first De try and I found the process so much easier than oe IVF. We went to a clinic abroad too which was faultless and a such a positive experience! So grateful to them! Very happy to chat if you want to pm me!

Xxx

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Oh really? At the mo I think we are looking at staying with our clinic and the London egg bank, but it’s all so new at the moment! Xx

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Sorry to hear your news. I went through the same in August 2017 and cried the entire month. However, with time the shock passed and the grief is less intense although I still feel it sometimes. once I warmed up to the idea of donor life seems brighter again.

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I just feel so overwhelmed by everything, I’m not sure how to be if that makes sense? Have you started the donor process? Xx

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Yes I have started. In fact I am in my 2ww with donor egg. I have not had any symptoms which has me worried but I m hopefull. I hope it works. Take your time to make a decision that is right for you. I finally decided what I really wanted was to be a mum.

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Ah fingers crossed for you 😊🤞🏻🍀🤞🏻🤞🏻🍀we want to be parents so desperately, and I think this is just a slight change of direction, but god a bit of a plot twist! Did you do it in the UK? I don’t really fancy going abroad but it seems that that is the preferred choice xx

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Regarding not knowing how to be, I think it is part of the process. Every time I woke up at night I would not be able to go back to sleep because I just kept thinking about old eggs trying to work out how my eggs don’t work when I am still under 40. I sought a second and third opinion and the evaluation results were the same: donor egg the best option for me. I was lost and I even felt like quitting my job. I felt a great sense of loss. But through counseling and support from my sisters I was able to move out of the depression that threatened to swallow me.

My sister who is based in South Africa offered to donate her eggs. So I traveled to southafrica and had the procedure done there. I have heard some speak of clinics in Czech Republic, Greece and Spain but I do not have information on those. Thanks for wishing me luck. It’s out of my hands now. I hope it stuck

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Oh hunny I am so so sorry. this is just so sad for you both. allow time to heal and get your heads together for a plan. lots of fab ladies on here using de..so sure they will be of help when you need it. we were told we need to go for counselling if using de but we went for counselling anyway and found it really helpful. sending you a massive hug xxx

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Thank you so much, I can’t believe how unfair life is sometimes! I’m lucky as I already have a fab counsellor who I met through the clinic, but I’ve not managed to tell him yet, makes it more real I suppose. We are open to donor definitely, but I just can’t understand how I have all these eggs, but they just don’t work!! I can’t help but think perhaps I could have done more. Sorry bit of a tangent there! Xxxx

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Please please try not to blame yourself there is nothing more any of us can do..sadly it just seems to be the card we been dealt...you are a fabulous and strong woman who put everything and more into this..it is just so so hard..sending you more love and hugs xxx

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we had the same news 4 months ago. it's very hard at first, and really sends your mind spinning. But it some ways it's also been releasing in making us think about what we really want. I've been overwhelmed by how supportive our family and friends have been too - I wasn't sure what their reaction would be. But our chances have shot up too - which gives you a lot of hope. About to start my second cycle with donor eggs xx

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Thanks Linda! We are actually half way through our donor egg round! My husband made his contribution today, and I’ll be told tomorrow how man (🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻) have fertilised!

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