Struggling today - agonising 2ww

[NsKaz]

Hi all, hope you’ve had an amazing Christmas, spending time with your loved ones and spoiling yourselves.

Christmas was a bit bitter sweet for me this year. My sister and my 2 year old niece came to stay which was lovely, but putting her to bed, snuggling up with her and watching my husband play with her hurts. Can’t help those “will it ever happen for me” thoughts.

I went into this 2nd cycle not feeling positive or negative, just neutral and I’ve been pretty good at living day to day and not thinking too much about things. Had a bit of a melt down the night before FET though. I think I’d been bottling all my fears and feelings up and they just poured out that night.

So transfer day came. One of our embryos survived the freeze thaw process but didn’t look too good so they thawed a second. The first one went on to die which really upset me. I know it’s a possibility but I just felt like it was another loss. They transferred the second embryo which seemed to be fairly good quality. I tried not to think too much about it all over Xmas and having family to stay seemed to be a good distraction.

The thing is that now I just can’t shake the feeling that it hasn’t worked. I know some people don’t have any pregnancy symptoms and do get their BFP, but I haven’t felt anything, apart from a few cramps and feeling tired. Last time I convinced myself that I had lots of pregnancy symptoms, but It must have been all in my head.

My OTD is 3rd Jan and I just feel so scared to find out, but at the same time I want to know one way or another so I can start dealing with it. Every day just seems to be going so slowly. I just hope and pray this is it for us. The NHS only fund one round where I live so if it’s another BFN we’ll have to go private and I just don’t know where we’ll find the money.

Sorry for the negative post, just need to get all these thoughts and worries off my chest.

Wishing you love, luck and baby dust for 2018.

Xxx

[Lynnedevine85]

Hey , that’s good you are talking about it ! The 2 ww was honestly the longest 2 weeks of my life . One day felt like 4 ! The easiest 2ww for me was when I had an exam to focus on . The days went quickly . Take it easy but for sanity fill your days and nights . Watch a movie , go for dinner or anything to take your mind off it for even few hours . Those 2 weeks will eventually go , I promise !!! Don’t test early did the first time and got myself into a state ! Just see the picture and hope ! Love to you . Good luck xxxxx

[NsKaz in reply to Lynnedevine85]

Thanks for the advice hun! No I won’t test early. Would rather have the blood test as no discrepancy with it I guess. Ive just started working from home again to try and take my mind off things (I’m an infant school teacher so always lots to do!) got my mum coming round this evening to watch a film as I’m not feeling very sociable at the mo! Thanks for replying - so nice to not feel alone xx happy new year to you! Xx

[Hidden]

Hi

I’m currently in 2ww, my test date is 4th. I have been the same as you. My niece spent Christmas with us, was great to have her and play games with her etc so I didn’t think much for a few days, but then since she went home I have been looking for symptoms. I was really excited at first, because this was another fresh cycle and my embryos were loads better than the first round, but now that excitement seems to have changed to fear! I am really tempted to test early, but if I do and it’s negative then I have to deal with it sooner which I’m not really ready to do!

Wishing you lots of luck x

[Lynnedevine85 in reply to Hidden]

Please try not test early ! I did it last time . It was negative then I was in a state . Couldn’t do it till next day , felt like a life time was faint . Didn’t know what to think . Anyway this went on for 4 days . I was a mess ! It ended with bfn . Don’t put yourself through it ! The waiting is easier than that . Give the tests to hubby to hide ! Hold on xxx loads love xxxx

[NsKaz]

Hi Em2804, oh the best of luck to you too!!! 🤞🤞🤞🤞 it’s so tempting isn’t it to test but I’m like u, want to know but don’t want to know. Here’s hoping this is our lucky round! Keep us posted xxx

[sanchia46]

Sounds like we are in a similar situation Hun. I’m only 1dp5dt. I broke down in tears at the clinic, the morning of the transfer I was so emotional. I was also on my own as my husband had to take my brother in law to the airport. They thawed three, but said only one was of excellent quality so they did a single transfer. Here’s hoping BFP for all of us in 2018.

[NsKaz in reply to sanchia46]

Oh you poor thing, it’s horrible going to appointments alone. My husband is a police officer so can’t always get the time off. I know what u mean about being emotional - I couldn’t help crying all through it this time! Best of luck for this round! Keeping my fingers crossed for u xxx

[E_05]

The tww is torture especially with it being over Christmas so totally understand you feeling the way you are! If you can try to hold out until OTD it will help avoid any false readings. I really hope the 3rd brings you good news, will keep my fingers crossed xx

[NsKaz in reply to E_05]

Thanks lovely xxx fingers crossed for u too this year xx

[Fredaflintstone]

Good luck xxx

[Dunla]

Just wanted to say best of luck for the 3rd Fingers crosses for you 🤞🏻💕

[Tugsgirl]

Wishing you two lines in two days time 🤞 xx

[Hezjenks10]

Just wanted to say a big good luck for the 3rd Jan xx

[TTCs]

Wishing you all the best for test day! You've done so well to cope with this over Christmas! Hope u get ur BFP 😘 xx

[NsKaz]

Thanks lovely ladies! Xx 🤞🤞🤞

[Jaky76]

Wishing you all the best for test day... Fingers crossed 🤞 xxx