So it's been nearly 3mths since my ectopic pregnancy leading to one of my fallopian tubes to be removed. After 3yrs of trying this was the first positive test I've done. As with anything I have good days and bad days. Today was a bad day, was at my 2yr old nephews birthday party, friends who I used to work with were all there with their children now 2,3,4 yrs old etc, one of them pregnant atm with only 3 weeks left then there's my sister and sister in law all with their children. I managed the brave face of a smile and the usual answer of yes I'm fine. Then went to see my grandma who is now 85 with slight memory loss and she says the words of not trying for a family yet (My mum has told her about my ectopic) clearly it had unfortunately with her age slipped her mind and I gave the usual answer to this question of well it'll happen when it happens. This really broke me but I managed a smile. Then there's work where 2 people have just left to go on maternity leave and one more (a close friend too) is currently pregnant and around 2 weeks behind where I would have been now. Then going through my emails today I get one from Aptaclub which I signed up to as soon as I found out I was pregnant and stupidly I opened it to be reminded that I would have been 20weeks today if I had been able to hold on to my baby which just made me hurt even more. Sorry for the horrible post and long post just needed to get it all out somewhere.
Struggling today : So it's been nearly... - Fertility Network UK
Struggling today
So sorry to read this, it is utterly shit sometimes, and putting on a brave face can be nothing less than exhausting. My friend a work is due the day before we were if we hadn't had had the miscarriage, so I totally understand the pain you feel, and then try not to feel! No real advice, but just wanted you to know that you're not alone and you don't have to apologise, not here xxxx
Thank you xx
Hannah I understand how you feel. I had an ectopic 2 years ago. Luckily I kept my tubes and had methotrexate but the medical/hospitalisation is rough. I too knew my date and always think about my first pregnancy.
The positive is that you did get pregnant and so there is hope. Have you had a follow up to know why you had an ectopic? After my ectopic I found out I have endometriosis so that was a shock too. But after 2 laparoscopies and 2 ivf a I have got my BFP.
Hannah we can do this!!! Think positive and and try not to let others get you down! ❤️ 🤗
Yes I've had a HSG scan which showed that my remaining left tube is fine so that's the only piece of good news and have another appointment with my consultant at the end of Oct so will see what the next steps are. Thank you though. It's nice to hear people have/are going through the same thing xx
So sorry for your loss, your allowed some down days, don't be to hard on yourself, hope after this down day, you will find the strength again, keep dreaming🌈 Keep believing 🌈 Your time will come 👣🤞💋💋
Thank you xx
Never apologise for having a vent here we all understand how your feeling, it's hard when there are people around you that are a constant reminder of what your grieving for. It's hard work always putting on a brave face, I hope you were able to have a good cry when you got home we all need that. Hope your feeling a little stronger today, keep positive xx
Sorry to hear how you are feeling, HannahJas . I can completely relate to how you are feeling and am sending you lots of strength. I really hope your time comes in the near future. Until then we are all here to support you. Xx
I'm so sorry for your loss I have experienced 3 ectopic pregnancies myself and I felt every word of your post it is so so tough I found the ectopic trust website really helpful and the ladies are lovely I also got help from GP in the form of counselling if you would like to talk im am here for support xxx
Hi, that's so sad, very sorry to hear that you've had to suffer through 3 cases of something that's supposed to be so so rare 
Life is really unfair. Have you had any diagnosis of why this might be happening to you? Were your ectopics through IVF or natural?
Thank you I know it's very rare in my case the first one was seen and treated with surgery second and third time was PUL so was never actually seen but my consultant knew it was through HCG levels and scans. I was going to have surgery and due to see what was actually wrong but my consultant pretty much said after having 3 natural conception in the right place would be slim to non so we went straight for IVF it worked first time I am now 17 weeks 🙏I think that the tube that the egg came from each time (left) was just so damaged and scarred that it would always happen are you considering Ivf? Xxx
I've just had IVF, had a positive, but now the pregnancy is failing. I'm also in a PUL situation and they are worried it may be etopic as I have had this pain in my side for a few days. I have an appointment with an early pregnancy unit at my local hospital tomorrow. How did they treat the PULs? (I'm about 6 1/2 weeks right now.) It's all super scary and sad but thanks for sharing that you are 17 weeks pregnant. That is wonderful and gives hope for all of us.
I'm so sorry you are going through this how have they diagnosed it have you had a scan and they have seen empty uterus or is it just the pain? As unless they have scanned they can't know for sure. I had expectant management for one whereby I had to have hcg levels checked every 2 days until they reached <5 (this was very difficult as took months) then I had methorexane injection which kills the cells that have been produced very hard also but was over quicker mental scars are still there tho. I hope 2moz brings you some answers and you are ok xx
Hi, thanks for the info. Can't believe it took months!! All I can think about now is starting the next cycle and the thought of waiting months and months would be overwhelming.
They have done 2 scans on me (Fri and Sun) and both times they couldn't find anything on the u/s. So they are going by my hcg levels, which have dropped a tiny bit from Fri to Sun. It's not confirmed yet that it's ectopic but that's my hunch based on the pain. Will see what they say tomorrow...
I'm so sorry it is so tough and I honestly know how you feel. It is a positive sign that hcg had dropped sorry that sounds so wrong but thinking about next cycle you want it all over asap the best people honestly are EPU they are so experienced and will offer best treatment for you. All will say wait 3 months b4 trying/treatment again espically with the injection as very dangerous to get pregnant b4 3 months. Wishing you all the best 2moz here if you want to talk xx
I’m afraid I don’t have any answers but want you to know that all those things you are feeling sound completely normal and expected given what you have been through. I think all of us have the same feelings of finding it difficult when others are pregnant or have children. Thinking of you lots, you are not alone x
That's really heartbreaking, so sorry for you. I can relate to your story though. I had my first IVF in August, got a positive result (though I never called it a "BFP", b/c it was never big or fat - there were ongoing issues from low HCG to endless spotting that kept making me worry). This weekend I found out the worst - that the pregnancy is failing and that there's a risk of ectopic. (Have an appointment tomorrow for yet another scan so they can finally determine what is happening with me.)
I know what you mean about dealing with people at work, etc. There are 2 girls on my team that are pregnant, and another one I just started working with that I just found out about. I was super upset when I first heard about their pregnancies back in July, but once I got my positive I started feeling a bit happier for them and was looking forward to telling them "I'm pregnant too!" in 6 weeks time. Sadly that won't happen I'm also dreading Christmas, which I was so excited about, showing my bump off to my family (who endlessly ask about whether I'm pregnant yet). Thats not going to happen either
This is all really sad and depressing and I can't find a single positive thought on any of it...
Sorry for such a downer post, but just want you to know you're not alone.
Oh I'm so sorry and feeling so empathetic for you. To be honest, I didn't start to move on until after my due date (which was also my 39th birthday) had passed after my one and only pregnancy miscarried. I thought I was ok but I wasn't. It takes time. I'm sending you a big ole hug xx
Really struggling today…
Struggling today
How do you deal with everyone around you having babies 
