Struggling today

[hifer]

Period is due today, on Christmas Eve! Am 2 months post m/c and everyone told me I’d be very fertile etc but that’s not worked out for me this month 😢. Am finding Christmas really hard and didn’t think I would. Just struggling to lift my mood and think of the positives for next year. It’s been such a long journey and feel a bit fed up with it all! Sorry for the rant but really want to turn things around so I’m feeling more positive when I see all of my family. Any thoughts/ ideas very welcome. Thank you x

[Hidden]

I’m feeling abit rubbish too I should’ve 10w but I’m not feeling pregnant now at all and I think we’re just waiting for the inevitable to happen again. ☹️

[hifer in reply to Hidden]

Oh no I’m really sorry! I really really hope that is not the case for you. Please please keep us posted so we can provide support either way. Much love x

[Sassa1234 in reply to Hidden]

Hi gcw104, I understand your feelings as I'm 9 weeks and 4 days now , and symptoms are not as strong as last week. Very anxious however I was thinking maybe they are gone as some women don't experience any of them maybe we got enough symptoms for this trimester.

Do you have any other symptoms that make you worried ? X

[Hidden in reply to Sassa1234]

We had a scan in the 14th and saw no viable pregnancy but on the 18th they saw a gest and yolk sac but it was only 6w just waiting to see if there’s growth if not we’ll miscarry they have us a little bit of hope but I’ve had bleeding since starting and stopping my belly before felt tight and stretching I feel nothing now I did a pregnancy test yesterday it’s still really strong thought it might be fading if numbers were coming down.

[hifer in reply to Hidden]

I thought a lot about writing this because I don’t want to be the voice of doom! I thought you might want to know that I had a positive pregnancy test a week after a D & C. The only reason I did one is because I had a very strong ovulation test (which I’ve never had before) and just thought I’d check if hormones may be the cause. It turned out they were and it took over a week and a half to get a negative test. I’m only telling you to manage expectations. Of course, I absolutely hope this is not the case for you. Thinking of you and please keep us posted xx

[Hidden in reply to hifer]

With both my mc my tests were neg straight after I don’t think they will be neg until it comes out. We have managed our expectations so to speak since we were first told we would mc on the 14th were more likely to mc than it going the other way and I feel better to expect that than get all excited there’s a possibility it’s just easier that way.

[Hidden]

No advice just wanted to send you huge hugs , so sorry you feel like this, it's just a matter of giving yourself time. Xx

[jengi]

Hi, sorry to hear you are struggling. It’s tough time of year. It can be tough to lift yourself up. Take some time out for you, have a day in bed, day in the sofa in your pjs watching your favourite movie whatever works for you. Give yourself permission to just chill. Write a list of things you are grateful for and a list of things you want to achieve. Map out a way to achieve these, I use this as a distraction to give me little things to look forward to. For example on my list is west end theatre show, visit Liverpool, walk up snowdon, camping trip, do a photography course etc. I can focus on these things because they are achievable, get them booked in the diary and it gives me things to focus on. Make another list about IVF, what are the options and stages you have to go through. I keep this on my phone so I can show family and friends the steps of the journey ahead of us. It’s important they understand too. I also find the list useful when the question “have you thought of adoption” is asked. I hate this question! Adoption is last on my list! I can then show people the list so they understand the options and steps. I hope this helps! Best of luck Xx

[hifer in reply to jengi]

Thank you so much for this. Yes it’s very very helpful for lots of reasons. It feels like our brains work in similar ways. I like lists and I really do want to focus on the positives as otherwise the negative just drags you down! Yes I have a lot to be grateful for and I like the idea of a list of things I want to achieve. I also love the idea of a list of info/ stages on your phone re IVF. I do get asked this and I feel I should be able to rattle it all off by now but having it all written down by stages breaks things down both for me and others. I will be doing all of these things.

Thank you. You have helped me more than you know and I massively appreciate the time it took to write the message. Xx

[Tugsgirl]

It’s always tough but Christmas can make it that bit tougher. I wish people wouldn’t keep telling ladies that you’re more fertile after a miscarriage, I was told that too and never conceived after any of my three miscarriages. I think someone on here said that there’s actually no proof behind it either. I’m sorry, I’m just trying to help you manage your expectations, although it may be a little late for that now. All I can say is I’m thinking of you and I hope you manage to somehow have a nice time tomorrow xx

[hifer in reply to Tugsgirl]

Thank you very much. No need to apologise at all as I definitely like my expectations being managed. One person who mentioned that might be the case did get pregnant a month after a m/c but I think it might just be coincidence, as you say. Not much scientific proof! Thanks a lot for the message xx

[Hidden]

It took me longer after my 1st mc to conceive again then only 3 mths after my 2nd I think it’s rubbish too. I find planning to do stuff and getting on with my life does help I’ve booked a couple of concerts/gigs for March and June. I have family coming over today can’t really be bothered but it’s Christmas have to keep cracking on pretending I haven’t got a bigger issue going on in my head.

[hifer in reply to Hidden]

Oh gosh. Really thinking of you and so sorry you are going through this. I feel awful whinging when you are going through such a tough time. You are immensely strong. Big hugs to you xx

[Hidden in reply to hifer]

Don’t be silly I don’t think whinging, I really hope you feel better and can enjoy Christmas it takes a while to shake the sadness xx