Choosing to become a single parent is hard. I've had a miscarriage this year and now a bfn after fet.
I feel very alone. I only told a friend and my sister about the fet. I find it hard to make people understand.
This time of year is tough anyway when you're on your own.
Just reaching out to anyone.
Ah I’m so sorry to read this and wanted to just reply to say you’re not alone on here. There are so many of us that understand how isolating and difficult it is going through fertility treatment and for some reason this time of year seems even more tough than normal.
You are one strong person going through this alone though and I admire you so much, I really really hope it works for you. Have you considered looking for local support groups? I haven’t been to any in my area yet but think it could be a great way to meet others in the same situation.
Sending you a big hug xx
Thank you. I do belong to a support group for my endometriosis, I'm not sure if there are any fertility support groups around.
I struggle to get people who know me to understand how I'm feeling.
Hi
I am doing this alone. I had a failed round of icsi this summer, with nothing in the freezer. I’m currently on Stimms with egg collection some time next week. I haven’t told many people, just family and now my 3 best friends. I didn’t tell anyone through iui.
I used to find this time of year harder being single, but since I decided to do this alone, I feel better about it. I just make sure that I spend time with the people I love and the people that make me happy. I have also learnt to drink less at this time of year as too much alcohol makes me depressed!
Be kind to yourself and do some things you enjoy, go out and laugh and forget about it for a few weeks. X
I've always found Christmas a very difficult time of year. I've been on my own the majority of my life.
To make things worse there's a rift in the family this year. And I've been abandoned by a friend who I thought would always be there for me.
To be honest I just want to go to sleep and wake up in 2018. All this heartache would be over and maybe I could start to focus again.
Wishing you all the best with your treatment. Thank you taking the time to respond. X
Have you joined DC Network? This is specifically for people who use donors. There are local support groups, depending on the area you live in, there might be one specifically for single women, unfortunately there isn’t one in my area, but it might be worth a look.
Have you considered counselling or hypnotherapy? I go between both and find that it really helps me not feel alone when there is someone to talk to.
I am always single as well, I struggle in winter with SAD, which doesn’t help, I always take vitamin D in winter and have a natural daylight alarm. I’m also considering a sunbed before collection!
No I'm not a member of DC network. Do I just search it?
I've been having counselling through work. Sometimes it helps and sometimes not.
Yeah, just google DC Network. Hopefully they will have a single women’s group near you. They have lots of events throughout the year, and some good publications. They have a forum, but this one is loads better. I haven’t been on any DC Network events yet, but I just like to know it will be there when I’m ready.
I had Hypnotherapy after my first unsuccessful ivf, I found it really useful, really helped me turn my head around and ready for the next go.
I’m not doing this journey alone but at times I’ve felt very much alone especially after my recent MMC but when I reach out to this forum i find support and such strength from everyone on here. Please know we are all here to support you to, this time of year magnifies all our emotions so I hope you have family to celebrate Christmas with. Thinking of you xx
Thank you x
Hi, just reaching out to you to let you know we are here listening and you are not alone. Wishing you all the very best and hoping you are successful in your next round of treatment. Remember everything can change in a year. Xxx
Thank you x
It definitely feels worse around Christmas time. Where are you based Lady? Xx
I'm in the East Midlands. There's not much around me. I have to travel an hour and a half for my treatment.
Ah, I’m chester based otherwise I would have suggested meeting up.
Maybe see if there’s an informal support group or put some feelers out on the online forums like this yourself and see if there’s anyone in your area that wants to meet up. I’ve connected with a couple of people from on here and it’s been lovely having a direct line to people that really get it and understand the trauma of the situation. There’s bound to be people around that would like to do the same over your end.
If you’re anything like me the grief of your situation will come in waves. Just try to keep swimming and take one day at a time xxx
Thank you. I appreciate it x
Just didn’t want to read and run, I have found this forum the most amazing support in the last week or so, you aren’t alone with these guys as I’ve found out. Please take care xxx
Thank you x
i just wanted to echo ava’s point - you are not alone. we are all behind you, and although our circumstances might differ, we all understand the pain of infertility.
please keep posting on here - you are surrounded by people who care.
sending love & light 💕✨💕✨
Thank you. Your words mean a lot x
Hi Hun. I’m so sorry I’ve just seen your previous post as well. It is such a tough time of year and when you have all of the hormones whirling round too it makes it even worse. It is a lonely journey even when you have a partner it can still feel lonely. It’s such a personal relationship you have with your embryos that very few people will ever understand unless they’ve experienced it themselves. To us, it is not an embryo, to us it is a potential child and when we lose that potential child it is so incredibly devastating. Your loss is real and should be acknowledged and supported. Sending you a big hug to let you know I’m thinking of you. You girls have got me through my darkest moments. I hope I can offer a ray of light to you. xxx
Thank you so much. I think it will be another day of crying for my loss today. I keep getting told to stay positive coz I can try again but it's hard to make them understand that's not what it's about. I need to grieve for this baby before trying again. I know this time I was never pregnant but for a few days I'd hoped I was. My emotions are all over the place and from past experience I know it will take me a while to get my head straight again. I struggle that I can't talk to people. I appreciate everyone on here.
Hope you're okay xx
Your right it is hard. There isn't a lot of support.
I'm also doing it alone. My first time was ivf but failed. Though i do have a frozen emb. I'm not ready to try agsin. No one gets me or understands either. Some of their comnents are really insensitive.
In a time like this it's hard to stay positive.
Sorry to hear about your last cycle. You are right people are insensitive. A lot think they the ivf is just a formality when you're single and means that you'll just get pregnant. They don't understand there are huge odds stacked against it working for anyone.
I know what you mean about not being ready. After my miscarriage in march I had to have major surgery over the summer and I took the time I needed to recover from everything. I was so ready for this cycle and felt I'd done everything to prepare and it hasn't worked.
I have one frozen embryo left but it was the poorest quality at the of freezing. I don't have a review appointment until February now so I have some time.
This process is just so hard and all the while everyone seems to be pregnant and having babies.
Life is cruel.
Take care x
Hi,
I know how you feel, I’m doing it alone too, and feel the same as you. Not many people understand why you’d choose to do it alone so haven’t told many people either. Spending Xmas with my family but that’s hard as my sister knows but has kids so really struggle around her and her kids and debating if I’m up to it.
I start treatment in January and have no idea how it will effect my emotions as I’m already struggling with them whilst trying to get on with life.
I’m in the West Midlands and happy to meet up with you over Xmas as I’ll be off work maybe have a chat and remind you you’re not on your own and have someone you can talk to.
Take care.
Bonita x
Good luck with your treatment.
My sister is always positive which doesn't always help. Sometimes I want her to listen to me when I tell her I'm down.
Unfortunately my job means I'm working all over xmas but thank you for offering to meet up x
Hi. I would like to be able to say a lot of things to make you feel a bit better, but for sure at least I didn't want to read and run.
I can imagine how hard It is but It is so generous at the same time. I am sure you have lots of love to give and you do this because you want to give that love. Please remind that to yourself because you need to hear It, how generous and brave you are. If you only talk to people that don't understand, even if they do it good intention, it's normal that feel lonely.
It's your life, It's your decision, it's your love. And you are a brave and generous woman!
Thank you for such lovely words x
Big hugs. I don't live in the East Midlands but am there a bit with work. Shout if you would like to meet sometime. I do have a partner but he isn't as invested as me. I have endometriosis too and am now 40. My partner has two kids from previous marriage and I have no family so I understand your feelings of isolation hun. You will get through it and next year everything could be different xx
I'd hoped beyond hope that I might get something good out of 2017. Now I just can't wait for it to be over.
I don't know what 2018 will bring but I'm desperately hoping it'll be better than this year.
Thanks for taking the time to talk. A meet up might be nice if you're over this way x
Yes, I'll be glad to see the back of 2017 too. I'll drop you a line next time I am up. Probably February now x
Feeling alone.... 
Had a HSG and feeling very hopeful 😊
FET success stories very welcome !!! 
Feeling alone
feeling demoralised!
