Feeling very low

[TRYING2016]

Tried really hard to sort myself out and be brave but i feel so down at the minute and feel like giving up before ive even started.

Im on day 17 of buserelin injections, have my scan on tuesday to see if ive down regulated and should be ready to start stimms the same day hopefully 🤞

But i feel so so so down and angry at no apparent reason i cant stand my oh these days and i feel low about everything i feel scared as ive not been too bad with the buserelin and once i start menupor injections i feel the beast in me will unleash 😂 jokes aside i feel really down and feel so hard to keep myself motivated at times i feel like i cant even carry on with buserelin because i feel so low.

Theres nothing going on either so i cant blame anything or anyone, everything is annoying me at the moment even having to get out of bed and just feel like crying i hate feeling like because honestly i find it so hard to carry on with the next step.

I no im brave strong etc and im sorry im posting this but i dont feel any of it i dont feel strong brave to carry on i havent got this anymore 😥

[Lamorna80]

Dig deep, you can do this xxx Have you got anyone you can talk to about it all? Sometimes just offloading all these feelings to someone who can listen will be enough to get you through.

I found the medication hard the first time round and didn’t recognise the person I’d become. It was such a relief to be off it all even though it was a bfn. I coped much better on the following rounds but just know that you’re not alone. I know it’s hard to stay rational with everything that’s going on but try to get yourself out and have some company to share the sunshine with. Sometimes it’s the little things that make all the difference. And don’t beat yourself up for feeling as you do, we’ve been there too and are here to support you & let you know that there is a light at the end of what feels like a very dark tunnel ❤️❤️x

[TRYING2016 in reply to Lamorna80]

Thank you xx

[TRYING2016 in reply to TRYING2016]

Just wanted to ask how you coped whilst being on this injection , its so hard for me to want to do anything im finding it hard to motivate myself. Its so hard to make anyone understand how i feel as nearly everyone i know dont even know the process of ivf or what it entails and its hard to explain what i am going through or feeling etc. Im sure i will start to feel better and my thoughts are running ahead and i just may need to take a step at a time xx

[Lamorna80 in reply to TRYING2016]

To start with I hadn’t told anyone I was going through IVF but then realised that I needed to confide in my 2 closest friends (who knew me well enough to realise something was wrong anyway!) I was always the ‘strong one’ so when they saw me wobble (and boy did the flood gates open!), they became the best people to share it all with. I wanted them to know it all, from the struggles with money, to how much it all feels like it’s focused on the woman. It has opened their eyes to it all too. They were really supportive and checked in on me all the time (they don’t live close-by).

I just accepted that this was how it was going to be and that there was a reason I was on this journey. The whole process has forced me to experience things I never would have otherwise and the fact that I’ve got through them has made me a stronger person and more prepared for the 2nd (& 3rd and now 4th) attempt. It does change you’d never have known these things about yourself if you hadn’t hit the bottom and fought your way back.

I also started to put a perspective on things and thought that yes, I had been dealt a crappy card but that others have far greater struggles and if this was my battle then I was going to stay strong and be thankful for what I did have. You have to stop comparing yourself to others, prepare for your life to feel like it’s ‘on hold’ for a while, develop a thick skin but let yourself cry and experience the emotions of it because you’ll realise that among the rubbish days, there are plenty of good times. There’s no magic wand but your attitude & how you face it and concentrate on your relationship with your OH will help you no end.

[TRYING2016 in reply to Lamorna80]

Thank you for your reply it really means alot, i have told work colleagues and some family members but its so hard to explain how i feel to continue to get on with it if you understand what I mean.

My oh just doesn’t seem to understand how to react to what i feel and i feel alone its like its a foreign language to him im not expecting him to know the inside and out of whats going through me but honestly its so hard for me right now but i will definitely take into consideration of what you have said and thank you once again xx

[Hidden]

The hormones play havoc with your mood. Lean on your friends and do nice things for yourself. I just took it day by day and tried not to look too far in the future. If you are feeling low for a prolonged period of time, it’s worth plugging into the counselling service that should be attached to your clinic. Sending you lots of hugs and be kind to yourself xxx

[TRYING2016 in reply to Hidden]

I will definitely be looking into counselling as i feel really really emotional and it does come and go but started to feel it alot more now. Its horrible feeling this was i feel so helpless and im probably making myself feel worse but as i keep saying and boring everyone (im sorry) i just find it so hard to motivate myself. Although my oh does try his best too its hard because it feels like im in this alone. X

[Hidden in reply to TRYING2016]

You don’t need to apologise for the way that you feel. Xxx

[Elynn]

No words...just a great big hug girlie.

[TRYING2016 in reply to Elynn]

Just what i need xx

[Lucky41]

I am sorry to hear that I will b taking those injections when I come round to doing ivf atm im on quietpine tabs 50mg im worried I will b the same as u or worse....

[TRYING2016 in reply to Lucky41]

Hey im sorry i dont mean to put you off but unfortunately this is the reality of it, and by reading my post hopefully you will be able to prepare mentally for it and maybe do better then me. Goodluck for your journey btw it doesnt affect everyone so you might be one of the lucky ones xx

[Lucky41 in reply to TRYING2016]

Thanks take care and all the best x

[horiya]

Sweetie, it is totally okay to feel like this sometimes, doesn't mean you are not strong enough. We all get some weak moments. And that is completely fine and normal. Medication can be hard during the first few weeks. Talk about it how you feel to anyone who is close to you. Or you can totally share your emotions here, we are all here for you. Good luck!!

[TRYING2016 in reply to horiya]

Thank you really means alot, i think thats what my problem is i over think and just keep so much to my self expecting my oh to know how i feel with out even telling him. We had a good chat and im ready to fight again im not going to give up thank you to you all for the motivation 😘

[Cege1]

hello dear, hope you will be doing well today. It's totally alright to share your story. We are all here for each other. Have you got anyone you can talk to about it all? Sometimes just offloading all these feelings to someone who can listen will be enough to get you through. There’s no magic wand but your attitude & how you face it and concentrate on your relationship with your will help you no end. The hormones play havoc with your mood. Try to discover your hobbies and new activities. It helps a lot to divert your mind. It's totally okay to feel weak sometimes. You are strong enough to cope with these circumstances. Don't feel stress and frustrated. If you are feeling low for a prolonged period of time, it’s worth plugging into the counseling service that should be attached to your clinic. Talk more about it for your inner peace. Sending you lots of hugs and be kind to yourself.

[TRYING2016 in reply to Cege1]

Thank you for taking your time to respond, i had a long chat with my oh yesterday im feeling alot more better today i am though having these kind of days alot more so i will definitely be thinking about counselling. Also seems to hit me alot more when im alone so i will try and engage in new activities and concentrate on myself and my emotional wellbeing because thats what important right now.

Although it was all said at the start that i will be injecting lots of harmones in my body and my harmones will be up and down, its so hard to be prepared for it. But i am gladful and i am lucky enough to be able to start this journey as others are still waiting.

Thank you for takin your time to respond xx

[Lizzielizzielizzie]

I got symptoms like this on buserelin, don’t underestimate

what it does to you honey, and it’s worse the longer you are on it. I think it’s worse each time too.

[TRYING2016 in reply to Lizzielizzielizzie]

Your right, now im starting to feel it all 😪 im on day 18 today, i don’t understand why im on it for so long. I mean i know i have to be on it until EC but I thought id be having my baseline scan earlier x

[Rainbowhope]

Please keep strong. I feel exactly the same way. I am waiting for my appointment with my doctors on Sunday but for some reason I am feeling so down. I don’t know if I could manage another failed cycle hence I am scared and keep breaking out in tears. I had to deliver training today so I was exited that this would keep my mind occupied for a while.in the front row sat a pregnant woman with a cute little baby bump. I just had this thought that god must be laughing at me!

I just want you to know that your no alone and I totally understand xxxx

[TRYING2016 in reply to Rainbowhope]

Thats how i feel when i see a pregnant women especially someone who knows me like they are laughing at me and they know i am struggling. You need to stay brave too and continue to have hope there is some amazing stories here. Sending you love xxxx