Feeling very low and tearful today

[Katrina13]

Finding it very hard to get some energy for my consultant appointment on Thursday. Having had 2 lots of surgery already and one failed IVF I am expecting to be told I need another op to remove my tubes.

I know that if tubes are damaged enough to be jeopardizing IVF they need to come out, I don't need to be told this or reassured that it is giving me the best chance etc etc. Even if its the right thing to do, it still means another operation and another few months before we can try a FET - by which time I will be 40.

I have been in this process for years. I have had enough. I never wanted to be an older mother. I never thought I would reach my 40th birthday without having children. I just never wanted this life.

[crystal2013]

I am really sorry maccerpops. Its tiring and it is the same broken record being played over and over again. I completely feel your pain when you say you never wanted this life. That is exactly the words that spring to my mind. I have just booked my first accupuncture in the hope that it will somehow help me. I am only a few years into this journey and its tough as it is. There is nothing that can make you feel better, but being apart of this forum at least we all have something in common. I find the people around me cannot understand my thoughts even if they try, so stay close and keep us updated. How long have you been trying for may I ask?

[Katrina13 in reply to crystal2013]

trying properly for 3.5 years now

[Filmgirl101]

You know yourself. Do what you think is best for yourself. I don't think any of us intentionally want to be an "older mum", but the end if the day I will take being an older mum to nothing any day. Hugs for you.

[Katrina13]

Thanks, sometimes I just need someone to acknowledge that it is SHIT rather than constantly trying to show me the positive, cheer me up or tell me that having my tubes out is the best thing for the best chance etc.. I know all of that already. Sometimes I just want someone to say "sucks to be you!"

[Filmgirl101 in reply to Katrina13]

I know that feeling!

[Katrina13 in reply to Filmgirl101]

unfortunately I had it confirmed today that I need to have my tubes removed. Not only did I get the shitty end of the stick, it insists on poking me in the face at every opportunity!