Today

[RoseGoldHippy]

Hi All, I'm new here...

My partner and I have been TTC for a year and a half. I am losing my mind and my ability to focus on anything other than getting pregnant.

Today I was congratulated on my pregnancy and asked how long I had to go. Yeah, I am not pregnant and congratulating a woman struggling with infertility on their non-existent pregnancy is (although unintended) so hurtful and embarrassing! I am completely devastated and trying to hold my shit together until I can get home and have a good cry.

I'm not massively overweight but this has completely knocked me. I know I have to laugh it off but just wanted to tell someone (couldn't tell anyone in RL as I am so ashamed)

Ranting has made me feel better

[Tugsgirl]

I’d like to tell you it gets easier but sadly it doesn’t. The further on into this journey I’ve gone the more it’s ruling my life. Emotionally and physically. But I can tell you that you shouldn’t be ashamed, ever xx

[RoseGoldHippy in reply to Tugsgirl]

Thank you Tugsgirl

I know I shouldn’t feel ashamed, I think I am just living on such edge with my emotions state (as I’m sure we all are) that I couldn’t even have this conversation in RL without bursting into tears.

Good luck on your journey x

[Tezzabell86]

You should never feel ashamed. It’s such a physically and emotionally draining experience for a woman and a man to go through. I’ve had my ups and downs along my journey. I’ve felt guilt and desperation at times. We’ve been ttc for 2 years and 2 months. This year we found out this year that I’m not ovulating and I’ve got a low AMH level for a 31 year old. Saturday just gone we had our ET. All the best xxx

[RoseGoldHippy in reply to Tezzabell86]

Thank you Tazzabell

Good luck on your journey! I hope the dr is able to help with the low AMH and ovulation xxx

[Tezzabell86 in reply to RoseGoldHippy]

He wanted me to start the IVF as soon as possible as he didn’t want us to delay so we started IVF on the 21st October 2017 (5 years since our first date) xxx

[RoseGoldHippy in reply to Tezzabell86]

I hope it is a positive experience for you Tezzabell please come back and let us know how you get on 💐

[RoseGoldHippy in reply to RoseGoldHippy]

^^ That's flowers (just incase you cant see it from com screen, uploaded on my phone and checked on PC and it is TINY!!)

[Tezzabell86 in reply to RoseGoldHippy]

It came up. Thank you very much and will let you know x

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi RoseGoldHippy. As you say, whoever said that to you, wouldn't have wanted to upset you, but it hurts big time! You have been trying for 18 months now, so if you already haven't done so, perhaps pop and have a word with your GP and get some blood tests done to check all is well? You're doing well to keep your emotions in until you get home, so well done for that. Good luck with it all, and I shall be thinking of you. Diane

[RoseGoldHippy in reply to DianeArnold]

Thank you Diane

I have been to dr, partner and I are awaiting results which is probably why my emotions are much more prominent than usual.

Good luck in your journey also

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK in reply to RoseGoldHippy]

Hi. That's good to hear, and I do hope the results are favourable, and even if they are, you can still be referred for further tests and possible treatment. Diane

[RoseGoldHippy in reply to DianeArnold]

Hopefully I am scared really, all the people coming up to me announcing they are pg or asking me when I'm going to start, its just difficult. It will be fine in the end. Thank you for your kind words.

[smithy1986]

Rosegoldhippie you shouldn't feel embarrassed! IVF has really opened my eyes in terms of how frustrating conceiving really is! I guess you go In to it thinking because its so expensive and its led by expert doctors you will get pregnant straight away, boy was I wrong! You are probably best going to your GP and ask him for some basic blood tests and a scan which will show how many eggs you have and if there is anything glaringly obvious obstructing pregnancy. If you do decide to have the IVF outside of the NHS just be wary of going abroad for treatment (there are so many cowboys) best of luck! xx

[RoseGoldHippy in reply to smithy1986]

Thank you Smithy

[Aleelilook]

Ah I’ve had this a couple of times, I’m not overweight, but once I was rather bloated from another AF, and the other time I’d just had a failed round of ivf and was so bloated from all the drugs, needless to say I was rather pissed off to put it mildly! It’s tough, people are stupid, and some days are better than others! I wish you luck with your tests, and hope your journey is as positive as possible! Xx

[RoseGoldHippy in reply to Aleelilook]

Thank you Aleelilook

I

[Aleelilook in reply to RoseGoldHippy]

Anytime! It’s a really tough journey without people being ridiculous! Xx

[Lynnr54]

People are insisitive and should think twice before saying anything. I’ve had 3 people in the last month think that I’m pregnant (to be fair to them I do look it a little bit but that’s beside the point). I always just turn round to them and say no, it’s a food baby (I always look it when I’ve eaten) and make them feel embarrassed! This place is great for ranting though so rant away!

[RoseGoldHippy in reply to Lynnr54]

Thank you Lynnr

It’s really shit eh? I think I am going to try that line if it happens again

[SeaChange]

Hi RoseGoldHippy, that sounds like a particularly horrible situation. Something like that just brings it all into focus, so no wonder you were feeling devastated. As others have said, I have to echo that you should never feel ashamed. I've learnt (the hard way, as many of us have) that people can be insensitive and thoughtless but its usually not with any bad intent. not that that makes it any less jarring or painful for us!

But what you will always have is this forum and network of people here to offer you unconditional support. I only joined today, to share a few hurts, and already feeling better from the support.

I hope all goes well for you and your partner with the doctors. xx

[RoseGoldHippy in reply to SeaChange]

Thank you SeaChange

You’re so right! Talking and forums do help a lot! I am feeling much better today. I had a cry last night and think that also helped

Good luck on your journey too xx