Re- living the worst day of our lives

[Ladyluck11]

Hi I’m new

Just been reading everyone posts for a few days now and thinking I should share my story.

At 29 I got told I had premature ovarian failure (Pof). Cutting a long story short I would need a egg donor. However I did fall pregnant naturally at 32 but sadly lost it at 8 weeks. My first cycle was in 2015 our local clinic found us a donor as they were going through the egg sharing route. We got 2 low grade embryos which were implanted and none to freeze, this cycle resulted in a chemical pregnancy. We were gutted. Then in 2016, 6 months after our first cycle, we had a phone call asking if we wanted or felt ready to try again. We went for it thinking we had a better chance this time.

We got 10 eggs, 3 fertilised, we had 1 put back and 2 frozen. BFN

So brings us to November 17, we thought back in August to use the Fet as we felt ready to, we had both had a long break from the fertility rollercoaster. So I did everything differently this time I did acupuncture, reflexology, took multi vitamin tablets. I was very relaxed. Last Wednesday would be our transfer day.

I went to work I work in a nursery with babies I did paperwork to try and occupy me, as I knew my little blobs of life were being took out of a freezer today. I was so restless even more so when the clinic didn’t phone me at 11.30 I knew then deep down something had gone wrong.

I asked my other half to ring the clinic to see what was happening. He rang back with the worst news ever. Our worse fears had been confirmed that none of my Frosties had survived.

That was last Wednesday and I’m still trying to keep my head around it all. Our clinic only gives NHS patients 2 cycles of egg donation, UNLESS you can find a donor under the age of 35, I’m 38 and all my friends are either the same age or older. We will now have to pay and at the nearby clinic an hour away costs 11 grand for one cycle. We don’t want to adopt and hate it when people drop the “A” word, I can’t explain why we don’t. So today feels like I’m looking at the clock constantly, I should be on my 2WW. Instead we have been robbed and I feel empty inside.😥

[LadyMM]

My dear

When freezing embryos dies after defrost it's something can be expected it could be poor quality

it takes a lot of patience , strong faith and strength to be able to survive this journey . Have you considered abroad such as Cyprus . U r still young 38 years u got good years a head . Try DHEA , accupncturs , prenatal vitamins , vitex and Mecca. Unfortunately where older women like me i have couple of years before turning 45

Try to Relax and enjoy u r life as much as its stressful u r infertility journey try to let things take their natural way

What meant to be will happen since we can't control it . think about those suggestions and believe me u will hold u r baby it take one good quality to hatch and be u r miracle baby .

[Fredaflintstone]

Hi there so sorry to hear about your painful experience. I know a lot of people use clinics abroad because they are a lot cheaper than the UK and have good results. It’s also possible to have frozen embryo transfer too with a donated embryo if that is something you would consider - I’m not sure how much more costly that would be. Your local clinic sounds v expensive - mine is in central London and it’s a lot less than that for egg donor treatment - it would be worth making enquiries at other places. Xx

[Ladyluck11 in reply to Fredaflintstone]

Hi

I have just finished all of my NHS funding, Donor egg treatment seems a lot more expensive than normal IVF. The clinic I looked at that was 11 grand is the only one in the north east of England that lets you do egg donation, if anyone knows of any other clinics in the north east of England I would like to know. 🙂

[Vhai]

I'm sorry bt dnt loose hope

[IMaman]

I’m sorry to hear that you are going through such a hard time. You are still young so don’t loose hope for age reasons.

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi Ladyluck11. It's awful to read such stories, when you're given so much hope, then for whatever reason that hope is dashed away. Was the clinic able to give you any idea as to why all your frosties perished?? I wonder too, whether, as you still seem to be ovulating, whether it would be an idea to do a natural round of IVF, using the egg that wants to come out?? I've known this to be done and in some cases has been successful. Might be worth an ask. Thinking of you lots. Diane

[Ladyluck11 in reply to DianeArnold]

Hi Diane

Dunno if you will be able to help But have you got a list of useful questions to ask the clinic when I return there on Monday.

Basically I’ve had 2 egg donations tries none resulted in a pregnancy. The clinic have told me that I can have another go if I find a donor myself. But have to find a donor this year as I turn 40 next year and my NHS funding will expire. The last time we were there was to have a follow up about why our embryos failed to come out of the freezer, the appointment didn’t go well as we saw a doctor that we had never met before. So I re-arranged another appointment. My partner feels like what is the point of going and now I’m starting to wonder to. I know they can’t tell us what happened to our embryos or they didn’t even say what could of happened to them. The other option we have at the clinic is to have a embryo donation but my partner doesn’t want this. Really could do with some advice.

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK in reply to Ladyluck11]

Hi Ladyluck11. If you email me in confidence to [e-mail] I will sort that out for you when back in office tomorrow. Diane

[Hidden]

Try DE abroad....

[Tugsgirl]

I’m so sorry. It’s so very hard xx

[Ladyluck11 in reply to Tugsgirl]

Thank you x

[Lou7744]

Am really sorry to hear your story xx

[Scarlett13]

I'm touched and saddened by your story. I hope you get to have more goes for a lot less than 11k such as abroad. Adoption certainly isn't the answer for everyone. I seriously hope you get your baby soon. You're still in your 30s and you have a lot of determination. Don't give up xxx