Donor withdrew consent on day of egg thaw!

Hi All - I have never posted on or joined a forum before, but today I need some people that might understand.

My husband and I are going through our fourth IVF attempt, first using donor eggs. Today was meant to be the day of egg thaw and fertilisation, so we went to the clinic early this morning to provide the necessary swimmers!

Everything seemed fine at the clinic and we were nearly at the end of our two hour drive home, when the clinic called to say that the donor had withdrawn consent for her eggs to be used the previous afternoon.

So now we're devastated, confused and so upset. The clinic sent through more profiles this afternoon and we have chosen one in the hope that we don't have to cancel the cycle, but I am left feeling very sad and now worrying that we have made the right decision about the new donor, although her pen description was lovely.

Sorry for the ramble, but I just need some reassurance and someone who knows how much of a roller coaster this journey is to listen. Thank you.

9 Replies

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  • Oh no really sorry. Didnt even think donors would do that. It's not as deep rooted as surrogacy. Thus journey is such a roller coaster I really hope you can use the new donors eggs. I haven't been through donor ivf but feel the ups and downs of the whole journey are immense. You really cannot understand if you've not been through it. Xxx

  • Thanks Katya - it helps to be able to communicate with others who understand. All the best with your journey. x

  • Oh my god I am so sorry to hear this. I can not believe the clinic did not say something to you when you were actually there.

    Oh how devastating for you. You have my total sympathy. Did they give a reason why??

    I am guessing you are doing DE in the UK - correct.

    Maybe go with the flow to see where it takes you with the new donor so you do not loose your cycle but you know I am a great believer that things happen for a reason and this donor was not the one for you.

    I hope that you are able to get back on track and that you are getting support from family etc.

    Thinking of you.

    xxxx

  • Thank you DC13. It just helps to know there are people out there who get this stuff! Yes we are at clinic in UK, but they didn't give us as reason as they said the info was confidential. I get that and that the donor has a right to withdraw consent, but the timing is just really horrid.

    Thanks for being there and I wish you all the best with your journey. x

  • Aww what a horrible thing to happen like this journey isn't hard enough. I am doing my 4th cycle 1st with DE after Christmas and didn't even consider this could happen, so sorry for you but hoping your new donor makes your dreams come true xxx

  • Thanks Button. The clinic said it is very unusual for donors to withdraw consent. I hope everything goes well for you after Christmas. x

  • We used DE for our 3rd and final round of ICSI. I had considered that the donor could withdraw consent but ours didn't. The clinic screen donors carefully bur they have the right to withdraw consent. It seems very unfair for her to have left it so late. Why didn't the clinic let you know yesterday? It seems unkind to make you drive to the clinic when they could have called but perhaps it us their protocol to tell you face to face?

    Hopefully it will all work out with the new donor and you get a BFP.

  • I don't know much from your side but I donated eggs twice with my last 2 cycles and even though I'm on my third attempt with my own frozen eggs now, after a miscarriage and still don't have my baby, I still wouldn't withdraw my consent to those women. Honestly my head has been in a loopy place through my whole IVF journey and I've been in some pretty low places but it never would've even occurred to me to do that. I just don't understand it. I feel your pain. Every moment like this is a kick in the teeth but everything happens for a reason and they'll find you the lady who was meant to give you those eggs. Good luck to you both xxx

  • Oh no!! So sorry for that. Maybe it wasn't meant to be. This process can be so cruel at times. Hopefully the new donor is a better match.

    Don't beat yourself about it too much. Think about it positively and look forward to your new donor. Xx

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