Feeling frustrated

Hi there

Have never opened up like this before but I think that I need to. My husband and I have been trying for more than 3 years to get pregnant after lots of intrusive tests its been revealed that I have PCOS and am failing to ovulate. I feel like such a failure and that my body has let me down. Friends are getting pregnant many on their 2nd or 3rd, I feel so angry and upset when they announce it, I know that I should feel happy for them but I just can't be.

I have pressure from family to produce grandchildren and hate the careless remarks people make or worse the pittying looks. I stumbled upon this site with the hope that I am not the only one who feels like this x

12 Replies

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  • I’m going through something very similar, but my partner has fertility issues aswell. You are not alone, and honestly being in this site, has been my savior in part, everyone is so supportive and understand our struggles! You are not alone. It’s tough but we are always here to listen and offer advise. Do you have a next step? Take a day at a time and remember you are not a failure!!! Your husband and you are stronger together! I’m always here if you need. All the very best xxxx

  • I really feel for you and for where you're coming from. We haven't been trying as long as you (1 year ttc so far) but I can relate to your feelings. I've also felt frustrated with my body, and like a failure. My tests so far have come back "normal" even though my cycles are anything but normal. I can't help you other than to say keep your head up and look after yourself even if that means having abit of a cry once in a while and then curling up with a good movie. Good luck xxx

  • Heyy I'm so glad you posted honestly I was in the same boat as you a few days ago in that I hadn't told anyone really put a post on here and already feeling much more supported. It's really easy to feel alone in this especially when everyone else seems to be getting pregnant around you- it's totally ok to bawl your eyes out in the loos at work cos someone else has made their big announcement ( at least I'm starting to realise this haha). We have been trying for a year and similar in the sense of pcos it's hard so so hard but this seems like a good supportive bunch of people going through similar things x x

  • Thank you everyone for your kind words of support. Always nice to know that there are people out there who are experiencing the same pain and frustration x

  • Hi 👋

    You are definitely not alone. This forum is amazing. Everyone supports where they can and lots of us have been in the same boat as you.

    We have been trying for about 18months all our test are clear (his and mine) and for whatever reason we haven’t fallen pregnant. Due to pain I suffer with I’m under investigations for endometriosis but we don’t know so have been told to keep trying in the meantime.

    I work with children and this is both helpful and painful. I have people around me one got pregnant after a struggle the other by accident and I find it much to deal with the one who struggled that with the one who got pregnant by accident even though I am still very happy for her.

    I have found that my struggle although physical is very emotionally. I have thought going round my head all the time, even when I try not to think about it it’s still in the back of my mind.

    I wish you all the best going forward. I have a sister in law who has a little boy who is now 4yrs. She also has PCOS however has fallen pregnant a few times although they did not all continue, it is possible. I hope this gives you a little hope.

    Good luck and baby dust xxx

  • Hey, I'm currently going through ivf (first cycle) only a select few people know and looking back I think the reason for me struggling to talk about it more openly is because of the insensitive comments people have made in the past - things like "the clock is ticking" blablablaaaaaa it's just so hurtful isn't it!? Perhaps it might help to plan your next step having a plan really helped me. All the very best xxx

  • Hey. You are definitely not alone here. Everyone of us will understand. I know you’ll find the support you’re looking for here. xx

  • Hi amme, I'm on here for different reasons to you but a close friend of mine suffered from infertility for the same reasons as you so I thought I could tell you a little of her success story.

    With her pcos she had her thyroid treated. NHS only checked the once and set her meds accordingly. Private treatment actually found that her thyroid was in a state of fluctuation and they tested her regularly to set the meds properly. It may be worth asking if your thyroid fluctuates in the same manner?

    She also was not ovulating. After 3 years and a lot of rowing with the NHS (and failed ivf) she finally got them to artificially stimulate her ovaries to ovulate.

    A combination of getting the two right has led to her having a happy and healthy baby boy who is now 9 months old. We all come on here looking not only for support but for answers. Your experience may not follow the same route as my friend but hopefully I've been able to help with a few questions to be asking.

    Good luck xxx

  • Hiya.

    I too have been trying for three years, have decided to talk to the counseller at the hospital, I have actually surprised myself by how I am coping with this but think venting and sharing some of the irrational thoughts and feelings I get with a stranger will do me good. Just before starting ivf I got pregnant naturally and miscarried, so we began ivf, got 8 frozen, two transfers havent worked and then 3 havent thawed properley its just one dissapointment after another! Friends are preg at the mo and it is natural to think ‘why isnt that me’ . Take care and keep planning things, hols, days out etc things to look forward to I think that has helped me! We having a halloween party soon 🕸🤡🕷🎃💀👻

  • that's what I do plan loads of nice things to look forward to and I find it helps as well and we are having an autumn party next week and also a Halloween one in a couple of weeks time.

  • no its not just you who feels that way. Im sure you are happy for your friends and wouldn't wish ill on them but sad about your own situation and I found when faced with announcements I would feel a failure but put on a fake happy for you face. I was happy for them and wouldn't wish ill on them but felt its not fair why can't that be me and had some good old cries in private and its normal to feel like that as its all so bloody unfair.

  • I'm so sorry that you had to face this problem. You know, I now have problems with the menstrual cycle and I also start to worry. Why did my menstrual cycle become late. Every month for 2-3 days. And this month is already a week !!!!!!! I'm so upset, but I have not been to the doctor yet. I'm afraid that they will tell me that I have problems. But I'm not pregnant, that's for sure, because I do not have a boyfriend. I'm afraid of telling someone about my problems. I understand you, the words of people around you hurt your heart. Can someone of you advise me something? I read that a week is the norm. I mean that menstruation can be delayed for 5 days and you do not need to worry. But earlier I had painless menstrual cycles. And the previous three cycles were painful, or rather not completely, but only the first day. But earlier on the first day nothing hurt. With what these changes can be connected? Yes, I sometimes observe a diet and completely refuse meat, but in fact before I blew too and nothing of the kind happened.

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