Hello everybody!

Hello kind people of HelthUnlocked! I don't think anybody around here remembers me. I owe you all an introduction. My name is Alessia and I am from Italy. A month or more ago I started posting here and I got a lot of support form this place. I use to love every single moment I spent here. Back then I used to talk on how I will do my IVF abroad because Italy prohibits IVF by law... Just a few days after that I got some more great news. Even IVF won't cut it for me. I was diagnosed with uterine cancer and doctors removed a huge part of my uterus to prevent the cancer from spreading. Now IVF is out of the table and all I am left with is surrogacy. Which, apprently is also illegal in Italy! I don't know what I feel the most... Is it anger or is it sadness, I am uncertain. After the surgery all my friends and family talk about is just that... I don't want to talk about it anymore. I feel like I am trapped and I cannot find a way to get out of this huge, huge mess. All I have is my husband who stands by me at every second. So i decided to come here and let go of this story that has been adding pressure to my chest. Love you all...

34 Replies

  • Sorry to hear the troubles you have faced and the difficulties you have in Italy - wishing you all the best for surrogacy. Where there's a will, there's a way xx

  • Thank you dear... This is what I have been looking for in a very long while. Just some comforting words. I am not a fighter, I am not the best human to ever exist just because cancer touched me. This is what everybody tells me. Yet I don't want to hear this. I was just cursed pretty much... I wanted to hear a "you'll be fine." Thank you a lot honestly. This just made my day better. God bless you!

  • I cannot imagine how hard it is for you. All your hopes and dreams were centered towards IVF. You were hoping with all your soul that it won't fail you. I can assume that you were expecting the good news. A doctor doming in and telling you that IVF will be fine and that it will work fine. I guess it hit you like an atomic bomb to know that IVF is out of the table. The exact opposite of your dreams! Life can be a bitch. A very unfair one to say the least. However you gotta accept it and keep moving on. If IVF won't work, then big fucking deal! Try to think like this and it will help you a lot. Surrogacy is a great and it usually never fails. So don't stress too much! Maybe this is for the better, who know what God is planning for you. My prayers and thought are with you dear. I really think that everything will be alright and that you will become a mother one day. Wish you happiness.

  • God's Plan? I think he is planning to screw with me. This is how I have been feeling at least for the past month. Everything was going fine... I finally was able to start painting again. My husband and I had found a clinic. We were doing the last preparations to go to this clinic and come back as parents! Then God said, well you know what? Maybe, I am just saying maybe, you haven't been through enough. Here's cancer for you. Hope you like it.... I am so depressed I have lost faith in God. Thank you for the positive vibes your sending. I can really feel them. It feels good to be back here... Among people that understand and care! Wish you happiness too.

  • Hi Allessia, I'm so sorry to hear about your story. It's a really a huge one, but you know what it will surely pass, please don't loose faith in God. I know it's very very hard, but people's test of faith differs and I trust God to pull you through this, and you will come out hale and hearty with your baby or babies as you desire in Jesus' name.

    Please stay strong and be optimistic. It's good that you have the courage to share what you are going through.

  • Hello to you honey. How are doing toady? Thank you for the comment here. You cannot believe how much this means to me... You taking time out of your day and showing concern towards me. I feel blessed in this moment. I know I sound so bad when I speak like that. Your points are right. All my life I have been a huge believer and I have never doubted God... However when you go through some certain things in life. You just somebody to take the grief out at. You need somebody to be angry at. If this wasn't a test from God... It's terrifying! That means that I will never give birth to my child, I got cancer and all that, for nothing. I cannot thank you enough deary... Honestly this is helping me a lot. God bless you.

  • Hi Allessia,

    I am doing good today. It is good to hear from you and I hope you are coping well?

    Have a great day and God bless and keep you in Jesus' name.

  • Hi once again kumkums! I am glad you're fine. It is really good to hear from you too... I am trying my best. Let's just say that. I doing my absolute best to do everything I can to deal with this. It's not that easy but... Hey I could have ended up even worse. I mean had the doctors not catch the cancer I'd be done for. I am starting to see things with a more positive attitude. It's helping me that I am talking to you guys here. It's also helping that I keep thinking that I could have died. Thank you for your wishes. I hope that God never lets me get even just slightly away from his merciful kingdom. Let's hope that I didn't make much mistakes while I was mad and couldn't think straigh. I really hope that God will forgive me for that... Okay this got way too long, sorry about that. May god bless you too dear. WIsh you happiness.

  • Just wanted to send you love and a big, gentle hug xx

  • Thank you a lot Loopielu. You guys are the greatest help I have ever gotten... This place is indeed amazing. Lots and lots of love to you too dear. Thank you for the sincere comment. THe concern you are showing means more than one can tell. I wish you happiness.

  • alessia I'm so sad you have to go through this. Life can be 💩. I'm sure there are lots of ladies in here that can help with surrogacy. Maybe even adoption, but I know this takes a lot of consideration.

    Definitely take time out to reassess how you feel.

    Sending you massive hugs! ❤️

  • Hello dear C_L_A_I_R_E. How are you doing love? I hope everything is fine at your end... Above everything, thank you a lot. I have been busy, I forgot about the post for the past two days. Once I got back here... All the support and love from people that barely know me. I can say that this is one of the best feelings I have ever felt. I was actually checking on surrogacy for the past two days. That might be and probably is my only option. We need to think about this through with my Husband... Adoption can be a great choice too. We get to be happy and make another soul happy. I don't know what I will do. Right now all I can think about is how badly life has treated me, and that there is now way out of this mess.

    Lots and lots of love for you deary. Thank you very much again and wish you happiness xoxo

  • What an awful time you have been though. Just wanted to say that we are here to support you, and I will be thinking of you. Good luck moving to the next part of your journey looking towards surrogacy xx

  • Hello to you ShellyC. How are you doing today? I really hope everything is OK for you. Thank you dear! It means the world to me, to know that I am not alone. Knowing that there are people like you supporting me to move forward with no gain what so ever... That's gotta be one of the greatest motivators. I honestly cannot thank you enough. You and everybody else here. What I have been through is very hard to come to terms with. I am finding it near impossible... I have cried so much I feel like I am running out of tears. If anything I try to think of this as an experience that will make me stronger for the future. I wish this happens to nobody else, not to my worst enemy. Thank you again for the support! WISH YOU HAPPINES xoxo

  • I am sure we all come out of these experiences stronger people. I am glad you have your husband by your side supporting you. Don’t blame yourself for crying. Find this that can make you relax, I did a mindfulness course which I found helpful and try and make sure I force myself to get out for a walk in the countryside even if I fell like curling up on the sofa. You are strong! Xx

  • ShellyC you are a great person. THe way you speak I cna tell that your smart too. Thank you a lot dear! Your concern and support mean really a lot. I know this sounds fake and what not. I swear to God himself that this has helped me sooo much. Also what your saying makes a lot of sense. I will get out of this hell a stronger person. I mean what is left for me to go through? Once you beat cancer and you are infertile... I don't think it can get any worse. Maybe if I was to deal with this all alone. That probably would have been much worse than what it was for me. Thanks God I had somebody with me all the time. Thanks God that I have you guys now. You are a strong person too... Beating our laziness is something that all of us find hard to do. It seems that the course worked fine for you. I should take a note from this, maybe I should take such courses too. Thank you a loooot dear. Wish you happiness!

  • I am so sorry to hear about this, you've got your husband with you, on your side and is understanding, please consider this as a big blessing from god, I was reading a message from another lady on another group and this women who don't get the support of her husband is actually in a very bad state.

    Most important thing right now is your life, and removal of part of your womb must have been a very important thing to do. There are a lot of women in any country who would do sarrogacy including U.K. I suggest you register with some more forums and start talking to women who can help you and you in return - there will sure be a way for you. Xx

    Bless you. X

  • Hello Rubinaa. How are you doing honey? I hope everything is OK! I completely understand you. It;s just so hard for me to count my blessings. Now that I look at it my husband is as devastated as me... I have been crying all the time. In a way that has helped me somehow release some of the sorrow and the pain. While I did that my husband just tried to make me smile and did his best to support me. He has been keeping all that sorrow within him just so that I don't see him sad. I really am blessed I guess... Thank you for making me realize that. I will also join some other forums where I can look for surrogate mothers. Right now though, I can't! I just need a little bit more time... Maybe to think this through or maybe just to get a little better.

  • Hi Alesia,

    I know exactly how you feel and only time will heal the pain and the emotions you are going through. I'll pray for god to bring you many happiness in whichever form he can and always keep you and hubby by each other's side... I am glad the emotions are flowing through your husband and you can see them too, it's very difficult for men to show their emotions, they think they are too strong and always want to maintain that image... it'll bring you together closer if you both let it out together, let it flow naturally you will both feel each other's strength...

    It's easier said than done I know sweets... you are in my prayers. Xx

  • Hello again Rubinaa! It is really nice to hear again from you. I am glad you are coming over here again to keep supporting and helping. I will pray to God for you too. You are doing as much as one can for me. I appreciate that soo much I cannot describe it with words. I know how hard it is for man to come straight with their feelings. My husband has had this issue his whole life... To be sincere I have always found that cute. Seeing him struggle to hide the fact that he found something cute or adorable. Once I got hospitalized this time though. He changed in a matter of seconds. He would hold my hand and tell me that he loves me and show all sorts of emotions. It was like that even when we got home. After a while though he got back to his normal self. I guess that how far he is willing to go for love. It makes me wonder would I do the same.

    Thank you a lot for the prayers! Let's hope that God answers both of our prayers.

  • My dear girl, my heart breaks for you, I'm so sorry to read your news. You and your body have been through so much already. One day you will feel the strength to find your journey again, for now be kind to yourself and be with your husband to heel your pain.

    I found out a bit about surrogacy yesterday at a fertility show and can PM you some info when you are ready.

    Sending you big hugs xxx

  • I am sorry if I made you sad Hannah143 . I know how it is when somebody shares such stories. I am not being sarcastic or anything. I know how bad i felt when i used to read such stories... Complete strangers who go through a lot in their life. People who go through cancer, or even worse who are beaten by cancer. Never in a billion years would I imagine that this will happen to me. It came with no warning and no signs whatsoever. I was feeling more optimistic than ever that my IVF will finally succeed... I guess now I know the answer to what is the worst way to have all your dreams crushed. I would love to hear more about this in the near future. I have been following some fertility shows before too. They are really helpful. Thank you for your good words, hugs and love in general. Also thank you for the info shared with me and for listening to me. God bless you!

  • I'm sore sorry to hear what a tough time you are having! So hard! I hope you have made a full recovery from the cancer (well as full as can be in the circumstances) and that you can look forward to the day you have your little one by way of surrogacy or whichever way you choose. Wishing you lots of luck in taking the steps you need to take. Big hugs xx

  • Thank you a lot Fredaflintstone! How are you today dear? I really hope your having a great day dear. My recovery in physical terms is as good as it can be. I am having some awful headaches and sometimes feeling dizzy! I checked with the doctor and they told me that this has nothing to do with the cancer but with the treatment. The doctors removed basically my entire fertile organs. My body isn't producing Estrogen at all anymore... Oh I also got the menopause! SO many changes that I have barely noticed. At the other hand my psychological well being isn't the best. I am afraid this will develop into a great depression or something. Sorry for talking about me this much, it's just that it helps to get it off my chest! Thank you again for your wishes and support. It truly means a lot for me. Wish you happiness dear!

  • Just sending some love, this journey is crazy and each of us has different twists and turns to our stories. No one will ever fully understand what you're going through but that's the thing we all have in common here. Good luck with your journey where ever it takes you. One day hopefully you'll hold your baby in your arms and give a big 🖕to infertility, cancer and the Italian government! ❤️

  • I believe you are right dear... Or at least I want you to be right so badly. What I went through isn't the worst thing about all this... Don;t get me wrong it was painful and very hard to deal with. One of the worst thing were the test I had to take for the doctors to make sure that i have cancer. Biopsy was painful as hell. Now however it is all behind me. That's why this is not the worst about about this whole shitshow. The worst is the present and the future. I keep thinking that it is over for me! HOw can I become happy if all I wanted is taken from me? How can I be happy in under a government who doesn't allow me to follow my dreams? I don't know what to think or belive anymore. Than you for the support dear. To me it means the whole world.

  • Hello dear. Welcome back. Here you will find all the poo you need.

    Your story has reached the bottom of my heart. It is not fair that you should pass through so much. However, there is still a light at the end of the tunnel. And you can still fulfill your desire to be a mom. I am so glad to know that you have the support of your husband, that is very important. He is your strongest pillar to finish crossing this long road.

    The most important thing is that you are still alive after going through such a horrible disease. Do not be discouraged, keep fighting for your dream and that of your husband. Have faith that you will have a beautiful family. I wish you the best. You have my support.

  • Hello leonorSh122 ! How are you doing my dear? I am glad you decided to comment here... It makes me feel really good to know that I have so many people backing me up through all this. Thanks for trying to encourage me. I think this has helped me in many ways... I do feel more determination as of right now. I think that, to quote you "there is still a light at the end of the tunnel." Be it surrogacy or adoption I am going to be a mother one way or another. I guess this is one of those things that you should be very stubborn about. The rest of what your saying also makes sense. Now I am looking at the other side of the medal. It is clear that there are worse things that could have happened. I walked alive out of that hospital, that is a miracle on its own. Thank you again dear for everything. Wish you all the best!

  • Hello Alessia. Welcome back. This is a wonderful forum where you will find all the support you need. It is so unfortunate to know that you went through that terrible disease. The good news is that you are alive and could face such a terrible diagnosis.

    Do not be discouraged in the search of your baby. There are many methods, including surrogacy (as you mentioned in your post). The bad thing is that in your country is illegal, which is a bit absurd in these times, where so many couples are looking to be somehow parents.

    If you have the economic possibilities and the desire to keep trying. Look for options in other countries. In Europe there are several places where surrogacy is legal and there are specialized clinics that can help you.

    Have you been looking for alternatives in other countries?

  • Hi to you too leonorSh122 ! How are you doing dear. I hope everything is fine at your end. I also wish you're having an amazing day. You are right dear! I have found more than just support in here though. I have found acceptance and courage to move on. I cannot force this enough but I love this place, from the bottom of my heart. It's weird but after such things happen to you, only then you realize how strong you really are. Maybe this was just a test from God... Even more this was his way of showing me that I am capable of doing a lot. I too appreciate the fact that I made it alive out of this. Being optimistic never hurts! I have been looking for just that in a long while. I have always wanted to go to UK, but teh laws there are very vague on this subject. One country that always pop's up whenever I search or ask for surrogacy is Ukraine. As we speak I am mostly certain that I will do my surrogacy there. All the agencies we have seen are affordable and they seem professional. Still looking for one that stands above all, then I will choose. Thanks for your concern dear. God bless you!

  • Hello again. I'm so glad you're so positive. It is not easy to achieve. But I hope you can find all the help you need.

    There are many places around the world that can help you. The important thing is that you do not let it just be a dream. In spite of everything it keeps trying. Nobody said it would be easy.

    Good thing you found great support in this forum. Like everyone else, you're a fighter.

    Surrogacy is an excellent choice. What can take more is the legal part, but with an excellent agency is much easier. Some countries are better than others as far as surrogacy is concerned. At first I imagine it can be a little complicated, since you must find the right person to help you with that. But then everything should be eaten.

    I wish you the best of luck. I hope to read you soon

  • HI to you too leonorSh122! I don;t think that positivity is much of a choice now. It's this or tremendous depression. I cannot let myself go there, how can one keep fighting in that state? I stay like this just so I can keep up and fight more. I wish you do the same. It's gonna be hard for both of us, but there is a way out of this mess. I know that for a fact, the past two weeks have been crazy. I haven't had time for anything, trying to find a clinic. It's weird and devastating, but what can you do. I am also happy I found this place. In my case, it has helped me more than anything could ever help. I am going to fight for this cause even if it means doing that my whole life. People always have called me stubborn. It feels like this is the first time ever that, "stubborness" is gonna come at handy! THank you for the comment and for the time you took out of your day to try and help me. It means the world to me! God bless you honey.

  • For me it will always be a pleasure to help you dear. Although many call you odstinada for me you are a very positive person. You know what you want. Only nobody said it would be easy.

    I know how devastating it is to not find the light at the end of the tunnel. But think that each day you are a little closer to achieving your goal.

    Do not give up no matter how hard the road is. You are a strong and fighter woman. You have many mixed feelings. It is normal to feel that way. But sooner than later you will come out of this. Trust what you want to achieve and there you will find the solution.

    For me it was not easy to find a clinic that met all my expectations. But after a long search, I found it. Although I had to travel to another country. At last I am fulfilling my dream.

    The important thing is that you continue in the search and you will see that you reach that precious goal.

    It was nice to read you again. I wish you the best of the world. I will always be here to read you

  • Hello again dear. I am sorry that It took me this long to reply to you! Honestly I have been busy and all that but that is no the reason for this delay. I sincerely didn't get your message. I think that I didn't see it or something happened to my account. Either way I am sorry. Your words are great and flattering as always. THank you a lot for the support. Really I cannot thank you enough. I don't know if you believe me when I say this but, you and people like you here, have helped me more than words can express. I was in a huge pile of shit... Pardon my speech I can't help it. That's how my life felt. It felt like you said, the light at the end of the tunnel... I found it, but it turns out it was a light coming from a nuke detonated on my life. I will keep on strong and unbroken. It was great to talk to you again too. Thanks dear and take care of yourself. God bless you and your family!

You may also like...