I’ve been so surprised by people contacting me asking me if I’m ok, they miss my posts, and how Mr Emu is... I promised to write a bit of an update. Also, as part of my journey... it’s probably something I should do... write more to look back over these times.
In a nutshell... mother in law Emu has finally finished her cancer treatment which is an absolute relief. If you want to really test the emotions and see what the pressure of a tired family all desperate to have a normal life and press pause brings... that was definitely it.
I finally got my walking boot off. Three days after the 7 week scan. It’s a relief to have two fully functioning feet; and now I’m trying to work on Mr Emu who thinks that seven months of flat shoes is acceptable!
Mr Emu got a promotion instead of redundancy... but he’s exhausted with an extended hour to his commute! He likes to ask if the pea is still in there... and we still claim we just don’t know.
And I’m apparently pregnant! Have no symptoms still... and I’ll be 9 weeks on Monday. I’ve got my first midwife appointment on Tuesday. Nothing feels real and I’m really struggling. They do not put this in the books at all! The scan was such a shock and I was bleeding; which has all now stopped thankfully... but I totally missed the bit where our consultant described me as a normal pregnant woman and discharged me. Going from daily contact, scans, support there from private care to our beloved under-funded NHS who don’t have to check in on me is making me anxious. And then feel like nothing is real. Did anyone else get this? Because I’m also petrified this is because we did donor egg IVF. I’ve only just got used to the P word to describe my condition! I don’t think I’m anywhere near using the B word. So Pea will have to do for now!
I’m hoping all this is normal. And that the next scan will restore faith and normality. Because it’s having a real impact on poor Mr Emu who doesn’t know whether I’m ok one day to the next! ☹️ Any thoughts on this greatly received.
Also... if you comment and I’ve missed news from you... can you share it? Sorry I’ve been MIA. Head down, work mode on, trying to be normal?! Bloody IVF. This is going in the Mrs Emu guide to IVF! x
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Sounds like your doing a good job at keeping your mind busy ..... huge huge congratulations... im so glad your foots back to normal tell mr emu surely a tiny wedge will do after all uve deserved it haha .... glad your doing ok wishing you lots of luck and well wishes for the rest of your pregnancy lovely Xx
Good update glad you guys are doing well and had a good 7 week scan! Exciting to be seeing the midwife.
We feel a bit the same - got a positive and just stunned - we didn't even celebrate...scared to dream it is true. I have my scan next week at 7 weeks.
I have symptoms - sweating, exhausted and a fridge full of food I cannot face eating! 😆 and scared to move in case I do something to hurt the little thing inside me. I even had a dream that I was having a massive glass of wine and then remembered I was pregnant!! Anxiety pregnancy dreams! 😅
Hoping that time passes for you to your next scan and looking forward to future updates on your little bean.
Good to hear an update from you! I felt exactly like this! After being discharged from the clinic, I felt a bit abandoned and left to fend for ourselves. My anxiety went through the roof and I had to start counselling to help deal with it (even though I had been mostly fine throughout IVF!). I had my 12 week scan this week and they measured it as 13 weeks and 1 day and as it now finally feels real we've decided to tell people but I still struggle to say the P word too! Just take each day as it comes and know that your feelings are totally normal (whatever normal is in this process) xx
Sounds like your doing great! Sadly this is normal the feeling of uncertainty, fear and disbelief the worry won’t stop, but every milestone you reach it eases slightly (I had to constantly try and remind myself, how dare IVF rob me of the most exciting time of our lives) every scan, kick and milestone was a relief.
I never spoke about it much,bought much til the end, didn’t even tell people until almost 20 weeks, never had a baby shower (All incase I jinxed it, I was protecting myself I guess) but through all the fear, pain and nerves we survived and our miracle, happy ending happened as you know.
So what I am trying to say is it’s ok to be frighted, nervous, scared, fearful of what maybe but also try to pass and enjoy little moments as you can as it truly is the most amazing time (although it doesn’t feel like it at the time)
Hope all this makes sense, big hugs, lots of love your doing fantastic xxx
One last thing, if you express your worries, anxiety, background, concerns etc to the midwife they keep an extra close eye on you. I was referred to my consultants senior midwife, a lady with years of knowledge, patience’s and empathy, I saw her monthly and could text/phone her anytime knowing I had her made a huge difference xxx
Hmmm cant offer much advice obviously but lovely to have an update from you!!🤗 I'm sure, and can only imagine that everything you describe is normal. My best friend said that having the scans only provided relief there and then and that was it....natural baby number 3 for her with no previous problems. I guess you have to hang in there....easier said than done I'm sure! Nothing wrong with sticking with pea for a name....its rather cute!!😄
Glad to hear MIL has completed treatment, hopefully there is some more good news to come there!
Mr Emu is clearly a legend at work getting a promotion when redundancy was on the cards!!
The only part I can relate to is.... "flat shoes for the next 7 months" WHAAT?! You'll really need to sort that one out with Mr Emu honey....life without heels is not right!!👠😂....then again heels vs baby....baby wins but I'm sure there is no need to compromise!!😍
Take care my lovely! Every day is a step closer!!😘 good luck on Tuesday !xxx
Lovely update hun, really pleased your Mil has finished treatment hope you all can get some much needed rest now. Probably not you and Mr emu but hope you can try relax a bit.
Completely normal all your feeling lovely these professionals that are with us and reassuring us feel like our safety net it's an anxious time being left like the "normal" pregnant women. Remember they wouldn't pass you on if they weren't confident.
As for flats I'd advice higher flats or slight wedge just for the simple reason that when I was pregnant with my daughter I wore flat flats all way through now I'm a full foot size larger I went from a six to a seven and they never went back down I'm convinced is was because of the flats. 😕
Thanks for update hun. Oh yeah congrats to Mr Emu well done for promotion
Glad all is well. So happy you have your foot back at least that’s back to normal. Great news on mother in law hope she continues to feel better.
Congratulations on mr emu’s promotion - hopefully it’s worth the extra commute.
I hope it starts to sink in soon and you can start to enjoy it from the next scan as this journey seems to rob so many of the joy of it. I don’t think men know what women are doing from one day to the next anyway let alone when pregnant 😉
I look forward to the long awaited next chapter of the guide book 😊 and continue to send ❤️ and hugs xx
Completely normal. I had no symptoms in the first trimester just had huge naps at the end of it as couldn't keep my eyes open.
I also struggled with the P and B words. They didn't creep in until very later on. My mum said after the birth I just looked shocked. I just didn't believe it.
We had private scans all over the shop to check all was ok. Mainly for my reassurance rather than Mr Emma's but really helped keep my anxiety down.
Firstly, great news to hear about Mr Emu's mum's treatment. I hope she's feeling ok and makes a speedy recovery.
Yay! No more 'hop-along'.
Well done to Mr Emu.
I fully understand your pregnancy fears. I've managed to get through my entire first trimester without feeling too much like a bag of shite. I'm trying not to feel smug yet...We say we have no symptoms but if you look hard there'll be something...Even just feeling a bit 'off' every now and then or not knowing what you fancy to eat (or eating a bit more) are all part of it. I didn't have any food aversions (sadly), I didn't get a heightened sense of smell or need to pee all the time. And sickness, nope. Not in the severe sense. Oh, I have headaches sometimes. I said to my OH that if we hadn't been trying (or had ivf!) I would never have known I was pregnant unless I'd missed a period. Are you bloated? That was my worst symptom but pessaries were to blame for that (but I'm used to bloating from having a bit of IBS so nothing new there either)! Books, internet - they all place emphasis on symptoms and none of them say very much on women who have them mildly which sends crazy minds like ours into overdrive!
I had my 12 week scan on Wednesday and there was a baby in there. Do I feel like there is? Nope! Do I believe there is? Still nope. I'm not sure when it starts to feel real but I'll let you know when I find out! However, I am a bit more chilled and not worrying that something is going to go wrong as much (I was very stressed the day before my scan!)
Anyway, I'm waffling. What you're feeling is normal and there isn't anything anybody can say to make you feel any different.
Good luck for Tuesday. The appt isn't very exciting (medical history etc) but at least you'll be in the system and will get your 12 week scan appointment shortly afterwards.
Will be thinking of you xx
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Also, can't remember the source so don't know how reliable it is, but I read that if women don't have severe symptoms it means their body can handle pregnancy hormones better. I'll take that even if it's not true 😂
Feeling not convinced you're pregnant is definitely normal! I'm currently 25 weeks, and every week before each scan I was convinced our little Dot would be missing and that my expanding stomach was simply too much pasta. Its only now that Ive started feeling regular movement that I'm starting to let myself believe. Having said that, we have a midwife appointment coming up where we get to hear the heartbeat and yet again I'm thinking Dot will be gone and the movement is just my bowels!
My friends say the worry is the same in all pregnancies but having not gone through ivf themselves, I don't think they get that this is our only chance, so Dot needs to stick!
So happy to hear that everything else in your life seems to be taking an upward turn. I think that's a sign for good things to come! My advice is, when you do get excited about being pregnant, even if it's just for 5 minutes on one day for whatever reason, fully throw yourself into it - otherwise you'll miss it. Enjoy the bits you can xxx
My accupunturist once told me that there is no point in preparing for the worst because it doesn't make the worst any easier to deal with. That's really stuck with me (most of the time!). Therefore if you're excited, be excited! Don't let your fear ruin those little moments of happiness xx
I’m going to have to find some way to be excited I think! x
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My sister in law is pregnant - she tried for 3 months and got a positive. She has a totally different experience to me! She doesn't have any fears and has been super excited about the pregnancy from day 1...She doesn't know about us yet....
I was going to send an awol post on here too, especially after cat went MIA lol.
I’m so happy about your MiL.
my FIL has just been told his cancer cells are shrinking too! Yay for both of us- who would have thought we’d be breathing a sigh of relief at this stage. Of course that doesn’t stop him from continually telling us he’s ill and dying and we should be prepared for the worst. 😜
Unfortunately the rest of my world and family has turned upside down this week but that’s not new- I’ve learnt to let go of negative ppl and situations in my life and look forward to restarting ivf. Unfortunately this lesson didn’t happen quickly enough to stop me eating my weight in chocolate this past week. I’ve actially gained 6lbs 😥😥😥
Although I’ve just heard my nephew is engaged and wedding will be next July... if I get pregnant this winter I’ll be cutting it fine on the due date(!) lol crazy to be worried I’ll be a whale on his wedding?? 🤣
But congrats to Mr Emu! I’m a great believer in things working out in ways we couldn’t ever imagine- just need to trust the process and roll with it.
I hate the way they just drop us when we become pregnant and ‘normal’ - they really should wean us off (!)
If you’re really worried maybe you can do a private scan in between?
Either way we’ll be excited for you and send you baby dust all the way 💕
So good to hear about your FIL! I think the worry never goes for them though.
Don’t talk to me about chocolate... I need to stop! I don’t think it’s the worry it’s not working I’ve got... I just feel so detached from it all. I’ll mention to midwife tomorrow and see what happens xx
Really pleased to hear such positives after a tough time. So relieved for you that the bleeding has stopped.
I would love to say it gets easier but after being very lucky to see our little one at 7, 9, 11 and 12 weeks due to extra scan from the clinic and a private test for anomalies - having gone cold turkey after 12 weeks is so difficult. 18 weeks now and it feels like forever since we saw our baby and forever until we will see them again. I can't help but constantly analyse how I feel and how big I look and if this is normal and does this mean that baby is still growing. It's exhausting.
I completely agree that after IVF everything holds a feeling of so much more urgency, especially if you had a tough time on the journey to the BFP and some losses on the way.
No idea what the answer is I just try to make myself look on the same positives as always. We are still in the game, we would offer a baby such a loving family and we are doing all we can.xx
Tell me about it. I hope the 20 week scan will provide reassurance and then getting bigger and hopefully feeling some strong kicks in the not too distant future!! Would really like to properly enjoy this at some point!!xx
It's lovely to have an update from you and I'm glad to see that things are looking up. Sorry to hear that you are struggling, as we all know it's the nature of what we are going through. Our worries change throughout this process and it's our fears that hold us back because we've had to fight so hard to get where we are at. I'm currently in my 2ww (early on) and am worrying like crazy, I just can't seem to help it, I've had no symptoms whatsoever, I just wish I had something to think oh this is working - hopefully that will come in the next few days! Good luck for Tuesday. Go for heels with a wider heel maybe?! xx
Really good to hear from you good news about Mr Emus mum agree that it is completely scary during the wait between checks but hopefully your little Pea is just fine in there quietly growing and developing x
Wow what an update Mrs Emu! Good to know that it's coming together for you in all aspects! Keep the updates coming, your posts are great to read and it's an inspiration to us all
Lovely to know “The adventures of the Emus” continues and seems to be going well!! Much love to you all that it stays that way and as for the heels then maybe shrink the height a little?! 😝💕💕xx
Everything you have described is reassuringly ‘normal’ to me. Anyone who’s been on the IVF journey and got a glimmer of a happy ending will relate.
I am now 32 weeks pregnant and didn’t really allow myself to be excited until after the 20 week scan. Even now I get upset occasionally as the fear something may still go wrong hits me! No one told me that the worry and stress just changes, it doesn’t go away when you get a BFP.
As others have said, I do believe it makes more sense to be happy and excited, as the feelings if things do go wrong will be the same regardless. However, it’s so much harder to ‘practice what I preach’. Hopefully you will fair better at this than me.
Wishing you all the best for the rest of your pregnancy. X
Ciao bella, I'm so so happy for you guys <3!! Enjoy the peaceful normality of being pregnant (with its hormones mood swings!), a bliss that every woman in an ideal world should have without struggling with infertility
Little update from us: I've had the surgery in June (I was so scared of general anesthesia!): the polyp has been successfully removed!
Then we had a break in Europe to see family and friends and now, back to the US, we're ready to start 1+1 cycle (1 to stim, collect, fertilize and freeze +1 full IVF with transfer). Considering my AMH at 0.4, this looks to give us the highest chance of getting as many eggs as possible. We're just tracking my ovulation with blood testing to understand what day we can start exactly... so finger crossed for us!
And I wish you guys a fantastic normal chilled pregnancy, you definitely earned it!
Hey Mrs Emu! Very glad to see all is going well for you all 💕 long may it continue! Hoping to read many more exciting chapters in the Emus guide to ivf and life! 💕 to you all xx
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