So angry, I'm between tears and screaming

I'm sorry to vent everyone, but I need an out. I went to my GP in January concerned over pre-period spotting, about 3-4 days before my period, convinced it was preventing us getting pregnant. The FS immediately blamed me being underweight. It was 19.6 at my appointment so I didn't agree with this but I gained a bit more weight anyway to bring my BMI above 20. This just caused the spotting to worsen, happening 9 days before my period, convincing me we had no chance of implantation. At my last FS appointment I questioned this and a prescription for provera (dodgy for these purposes, even says not to take if trying to get pregnant) was thrown at me. Not the normal progesterone, and at only a tenth of the dose, given to treat a luteal phase defect. I tried it anyway, feeling I'd lost all other hope. Our first cycle we had a chemical. While upset, I took hope from the fact it had helped. 2nd cycle, I spotted 12dpo, not too fussed as I knew my cycle would be out of whack due to the chemical. 3rd cycle and I've just started spotting 7dpo, tmi but bright red and plenty enough. My GP won't change my medication, and a referral back to the FS will take months. I feel so angry that my concerns were dismissed so easily, and that the dodgy medication has actually made no difference. I'm angry to be prescribed it in the first place, but even more so to find that, on a normal cycle, it has made no difference whatsoever. I'm questioning whether it was responsible for our chemical or whether it caused us to lose that one.

[_MrsC]

Hi Hun. I'm so sorry to hear of your terrible time. I had spotting before my periods and I went to see a homeopath after my GP wouldn't help. The homeopath sorted it out straight away. It cost me £70 but was worth it to be rid of the problem. xxx

[Hidden in reply to _MrsC]

Thanks MrsC. Did the homeopath give you any specific advice? I may look into this as an option,it does seem to work for a variety of problems xxx

[_MrsC in reply to Hidden]

Hi yes she gave me some herbal tablets and a tincture. One of them was Aurum and one began with folic something. All included in the price. It was to regulate my hormones. It sorted it out immediately. I was thrilled with results and have friends who went for heavy bleeding that lasted over two weeks and she sorted them out as well. It was in Cobham in Surrey if you live anywhere close to that. x

[ClarabGlasgow in reply to _MrsC]

_MrsC can you tell us what the homeopath suggested was it herbal? Hope you are doing ok I remember your posts saying you were not pursuing ivf any longer. We just had one failed attempt and I think that's it for me as it wasn't too successful from start to finish. I am hoping for a natural miracle but going to try live a normal life whilst doing so as so fed up with being careful about lifting/excercise/alcohol etc. Feel like my life has been on hold & want to get back to being me xx

[_MrsC in reply to ClarabGlasgow]

Thanks. See my other reply about what she gave me. I'm ok thanks. Just carrying on and beginning to accept this is us. I still have really down days but feel better not pursuing things any more. To know we're done and that the future doesn't hold what we'd hoped for in some way is helpful. We're not living for each month anymore which is a relief. I'm not going to pretend that there isn't still part of me that wonders if a miracle will occur but I'm no longer expecting it to. Like you, I want to live my life. I don't want to feel guilty about doing things like having a glass of Prosecco or have to give things up completely. I hope in time the bad days get fewer and I can celebrate the good elements of being just us two. I wish you the best of luck too. xxx

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi Jacqui84. So sorry to hear this. My thoughts are that being underweight tends to make periods lighter, or even stop. Still, you sorted that out, which was good to do. Pre period spotting is more indicative of a luteal phase deficiency, causing the womb lining to break down before it should. I would have thought that you should have been offered the usual hormone blood tests, then if ok sometimes being on the pill for a few months can regulate you again. Obviously, if you have been trying for a while to get pregnant, then you need to be referred, even though it may take a couple of months. Maybe try some alternative therapy meantime?? Hope you can soon get some answers. Good luck! Diane

[Hidden in reply to DianeArnold]

Thanks Diane. We were referred to one fertility clinic in the spring, where my concerns were ignored. We're waiting for our second opinion appointment, but it's taken us 9 months (and too many friends announcing pregnancy) to get to that point. I think I'll be looking into homeopathy x

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK in reply to Hidden]

Hi. I do have a list of questions I could send you if you want. My emails are confidential. There just may be a few you hadn't thought of asking when you go back. Contact me at [e-mail] and I will send them to you if you want. Diane

[Strawb86]

Hi jacqui84. I've been there with the pre-period spotting! Every month that I was ttc I went through the false hope of wondering whether this time it could be implantation bleeding at last...but it never was! I had all the usual hormone tests and everything came out normal. My consultant just seemed to think it was one of those things and that it wouldn't impact conception (which was frustrating!!!). I ended up becoming pregnant through Ivf BUT the cycle that worked also had the usual spotting in the run up to my test date, to the extent that I 'knew' it hadn't worked. So I've been there and know how awful it is but don't lose hope that having it means you won't have a successful implantation. Wishing you lots of luck xxx

[Hidden in reply to Strawb86]

Thank you for sharing. Our IVF journey is supposed to begin in the new year. It's good to know that I shouldn't panic if the same happens then. Congratulations on your pregnancy xxx

[embiemomma]

this is interesting... I was TTC for 4 years and I had pre period spotting (usually 2-5 days) I was convinced this was a luteal phase deficiency and spoke to my gp about it, she said 'its normal'... long story short, we had successful IVF (now our gorgeous 6 month old) i've had 2 periods since his birth and no spotting at all, I literally bleed fully from day 1. I wonder if my hormones have regulated themselves from being pregnant? It would be interesting to see if I'd get pregnant naturally now as we had unexplained infertility... If you're convinced this is affecting your fertility, could you request to see a different doctor? I'm sure it was our reason, especially after reading your story and similar ones. What a shame to go through IVF if we didn't need to?!

[Hidden in reply to embiemomma]

Congratulations on your baby. I wonder if the same would happen if we were to have a successful pregnancy. We are waiting for our second opinion, hopefully we'll be taken seriously this time. As you say, it is just frustrating when every month the same thing happens, and when you've got to the point where you think you've found a cure, it doesn't work.

Good luck when you get to trying for a second, hopefully your body will have fixed itself xx

[Lynnr54 in reply to embiemomma]

I'm exactly the same. My spotting was sometimes brown and sometimes pink and came and went for about a week before AF. I was also told it was normal but I used it as a way to get my GP to do bloods and scans before the trying for 2 years was up and turns out I also have polycistic ovaries so was referred for IVF. The results of my hormone tests showed different things different months (I think as a result of testing on the wrong days some months) and they said they "didn't think" I had PCOS but if I did it was mild. I tried pushing them on the spotting and a pretty senior consultant did give me some sort of explanation which I now can't remember but at the time seemed sensible. At the same time they found male factors present so told us ICSI was the only way to go and would be the same treatment regardless of whether or not I had PCOS so essentially dismissed my concerns about me. My first cycle was successful and I now have a 16 month old. AF returned when he was 10 months old and like you was full flow from day 1 so I also thought pregnancy had normalised my hormones. However this month the spotting has returned again so maybe not. I only stopped breastfeeding last month so no sure whether that had anything to do with it. I'm starting FET medication this month to try for no 2 so now won't know whether or not this month's spotting was a one off or not but I'd be interested to see what your experience is going forward.

[ClarabGlasgow]

The exact same thing happens to me. Brown Spotting for a few days most months before af for the past year (but not every month) . I have just had a failed ivf cycle and this time I brown spotted for 5 whole days before af although I think that could have been caused by the progesterone. This is something I've never experienced in my life til this time round of trying. I even wondered if it could be failed implantation but not really found much to support that. Be great to hear what alternative therapies are available as I have also been dismissed by gp and gynae and told it's probably just a new normal for me. Ps my bmi was also low (17.6) & was told I should really try to get it up (now 18.5) but has made no difference. There is a lot of info online about spotting, some of which suggests increasing blood flow to the uterus through more water etc so might be worth a look. There are also more serious things like cervical erosion but that seems to be quite rare. Hope you get to the bottom of it (& let me know if you do) xx

[Hidden in reply to ClarabGlasgow]

I have a cervical erosion and have done since I was 18. If was originally caused by being on the pill but has stuck around. I was told that having it wouldn't cause a problem try to conceive, but having it treated (cautorised) might. I might look into whether that's causing a problem conceiving as had not thought about it before. It's definitely not causing the bleeding though, too used to all of this blood stuff to know the differences now! I'll let you know if I get any answers soon. Good luck with your journey xxx

[Hannah_J]

Hi, having a second opinion is a excellent move. In this regard, I'd advise you to ask other ladies for advice concerning a good specialist in your area. Or you could search it in the web. Unfortunately, I come to the opinion that doctors sometimes don't know the right diagnosis, but at least having a good advice or prescription based on your concerns would be helpful. If this second specialist also dismisses your concerns, try not to get upset and maybe consider having a third opinion. I changed 4 obgyns until I found one that cared and tried to help. Finding a good Dr is time consuming, but it's worth it. Wish you all the luck in the world!