Struggling : Hi everyone. Just finding... - Fertility Network UK

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Struggling

kt_11 profile image
kt_11

Hi everyone. Just finding things a bit difficult at the moment and thought someone around here might understand. OH is just telling me to 'stop worrying' which would be great if it were that easy!

I'm 6 weeks pregnant today after our first cycle of icsi. I know I'm so lucky that it worked and should be feeling happy and grateful as there are others who haven't been so fortunate, but I'm so certain that something has gone wrong and that I'm going to get to my scan next week and there's gonna be nothing there 😢

I don't have loads of symptoms really (again I know I'm lucky but to me it just feels like it's not real). When I was in the 2ww I knew the odds were about 50/50 for getting a positive result whereas now surely the odds of having a viable pregnancy are better than that so why can't I believe it could happen to me?

I hope I don't sound like I'm whining and offend anyone who's not yet been successful with their treatment. Just wanted to tell someone how I feel and maybe find someone who has been through the same? I know nobody can tell me what will happen and it's just a waiting game but I can't help feeling that being so anxious is only going to make things worse.

40 Replies
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I totally understand how your feeling, I'm a week behind you but my Hubby is exactly the same. Every time I tell him I'm worried he tells me to be positive or it's just growing pains. He's always been the more optimistic one out of us.

I would say try not to worry or look into symptoms to much, some women go through weeks or even all of their pregnancy with no symptoms at all. It's totally natural to be worried about your scan, I'm totally petrified. If you ever want to talk you can always PM me xx

kt_11 profile image
kt_11 in reply to E_05

Aw thanks. I know symptoms don't really mean anything either way as I found out during my 2ww!

I know it's just waiting now and there's a small chance things will go wrong and a bigger chance that all will be fine.

Good luck to you for your scan too. I know you've been through a lot to get here xx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to kt_11

Thank you, I'm still waiting for my apt to come through 😫 we all got through a lot to get out BFP think that's why our anxieties are so much more xx

kt_11 profile image
kt_11 in reply to E_05

Aw that's rubbish that you're still waiting. I made my scan appointment on the day I got my BFP. Hope you get it through soon x

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to kt_11

I did try but my clinic wouldn't let me, I had to do another test today and ring again now they've ordered my scan, totally annoying and most stressful part of my clinic x

kt_11 profile image
kt_11 in reply to E_05

That's stressful! Glad you're able to get it sorted now doesn't help with the stress though I'm sure xx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to kt_11

Thank you, good luck for your scan look forward to seeing good news from it xx

Blondie_81 profile image
Blondie_81 in reply to kt_11

Hi sorry can I just ask - did you not get any symptoms in the 2ww? I'm in it now and going slowly crazy analysing every feeling but since 3dp5det I've felt completely fine - no niggles/aches/pains or hard/tender boobs and no spotting so getting really worried it might not have worked (im now 6dp5det) and my OTD (blood test) is on Monday! I currently feel like not even going as I just don't want to know the results as im so scared..! Thanks (btw I have a friend who got pregnant from 1st IVF and at the 12 week scan she didn't think it was going to show anything was there as she said she has absolutely no pregnancy symptoms but the scan was fine and she's due mid December).

kt_11 profile image
kt_11 in reply to Blondie_81

Hi. I had cramps on the first couple of days after transfer, then very occasionally after that. I had tender boobs as well but I assumed that could be the progesterone I was taking, and that is a normal symptom before AF for me anyhow. I had no spotting at all. Don't rule yourself out yet!

Blondie_81 profile image
Blondie_81 in reply to kt_11

Okay thanks that's good to know!!

I think there's a few of us in exactly the same stage at the moment and worrying. I have my scan a week from today and I worry too. Just gotta stay positive and try not to stress yourself. It's like going through another 2ww isn't it!?

Here if you need to talk x

kt_11 profile image
kt_11 in reply to C_L_A_I_R_E

Thanks. It's awful isn't it. Just think of all the worry we've already been through to get to this point whereas some lucky ladies who got pregnant naturally might have been completely unaware! Good luck for your scan. Will be thinking of you x

C_L_A_I_R_E profile image
C_L_A_I_R_E in reply to kt_11

And good luck to you Kt! We can do this! ❤️

I literally could of wrote this post! I'm six weeks and 2 days and have no symptoms at all. I feel like I will get to my scan next week and be told all 15 pregnancy tests have been wrong (yes I know, so many tests but I am still doing them now, I literally can't help myself)

I'm so glad to hear I'm not the only one that feels like this tho. I don't have my scan until the back end of next week and it seems like forever to go! I'm sure we are just worrying for no reason and I think it is human nature to always expect the worse after having to go through ivf as that is such a rollercoaster in itself. I guess we just need to have faith. Good luck to everyone in this waiting time that seems to go on forever X x

kt_11 profile image
kt_11 in reply to Spottydog444

😂15 tests! I did another sneaky one last week just to check but think that's a record.

I know we're all just waiting and what will be will be, but it does help to know that others feel the same & that it not just me being crazy!

As far as I've seen everyone on here who gets their Bfp worries - it's so long fought for the fear is over whelmimg. I'm sure all will be ok but you prob won't relax til you see it for yourself at the scan. Xx

Thanks. I know it's probably the same for everyone. Just counting down to the scan next week x

I think it's only normal to be worried that something is going to go wrong after all you've been through to get this far. And the nature of this forum is that we do hear about the ones that go wrong later on down the line (and we're here to provide support for those ladies) but they really are a small proportion of all the successful pregnancies. I worried throughout most of my pregnancy about something or other. I worried less as the pregnancy went on but then it got worse towards the end as my monkey didn't have a regular pattern of kicks. There's nothing much anyone can say to ease the worrying other than just know it's normal and that every pregnancy is different so what one person might experience someone else might not. I also found particularly in the first trimester that symptoms came and went. I hope all your scans go well and you all have smooth pregnancies x

kt_11 profile image
kt_11 in reply to Lynnr54

Thanks. I think that's the thing - that type of thing actually happens fairly infrequently but I guess seeing so many people on here who it's happened to makes it seem a bit more prevalent.

I'm going to try and be more positive if I can but sure it's easier said than done, and I know even if the scan is ok I'll just worry until the next one! 😂

It's a very worrying time - that's ok to be worried. If you can't get hold of your clinic - Mothercare do a viability scan in big stores! £89. Try and take it easy and assume no dramatic symptoms (bleeding, severe pains) is good news for now! Hang on in there - I felt exactly the same and am just 11 weeks - still waiting for next scan.

GOOD LUCK!!! 🤞🏼 xxx

kt_11 profile image
kt_11 in reply to robbie03

Thanks! I've no physical reason to believe any things wrong other than my own pessimistic nature!

I've got a scan already booked for 7 weeks (one week today) so I just have to wait and hope

Good luck for your scan! xx

robbie03 profile image
robbie03 in reply to kt_11

Wishing you a speedy week to get to scan day! Every day that passes without negative symptoms I'm grateful and look forward to the next one! Good luck xxx

Its definately hard not to worry and was feeling exactly the same yesterday. I think we'll have highs and lows all the way. Maybe when we can feel baby's movements we can be reassured. I think symptoms can change. Yesterday i hardly felt anything. In fact for most of the day i felt normal, but today very nauseous and tired again! I hope your scan goes well. I'm 6+1 and feels an age away. Hope you are feeling a bit better today xx

kt_11 profile image
kt_11 in reply to Elou81

Thanks. Hope you are back on track again today as well. I'm ok thanks. Just counting down the days until My scan. I'm away on holiday at the moment which is a distraction but I tend to worry when I'm trying to sleep. x

Elou81 profile image
Elou81 in reply to kt_11

Back on track but can't help but feel nervous about scan tomorrow. Not sure if you are still away but hope you enjoy your holiday xx

kt_11 profile image
kt_11 in reply to Elou81

Me too. My scan is also tomorrow. Back from holiday now but had a nice time thanks. Despite the nurse at the clinic scaring me to death about flying and making me feel really bad for going away!

Good luck for your scan. Hope all is well xx

C_L_A_I_R_E profile image
C_L_A_I_R_E in reply to kt_11

My scan's tomorrow too.

Excited and nervous!

Glad you had a good holiday kt after all that worry!

Elou81 profile image
Elou81 in reply to kt_11

How did it go? Xx

kt_11 profile image
kt_11 in reply to Elou81

Mine was good thanks. 'Perfect scan' the nurse said and I've been discharged into the care of my GP and midwife now. Was terrified before though!

How about you? Did you have a scan yesterday? x

Elou81 profile image
Elou81 in reply to kt_11

All good so far thanks. Ironically i wanted strong symptoms of pregnancy and now i'm nauseous all day long and have been prescribed anti sickness medication! Xx

kt_11 profile image
kt_11 in reply to Elou81

Aw that's rubbish. But at least it's a sign that things are progressing well. I'm nauseous on and off throughout the day but not bad enough to need medication. Hope you feel better with the meds x

Elou81 profile image
Elou81 in reply to kt_11

Its like i don't want to complain because i'm blessed to be carrying this baby but its extremely debilitating too. I can't travel, i'm off work sick because 12 hour nights were torture and omg,the slightest whiff of perfume or food sends me running haha. Walked past a bin last week and started wretching in the street! Must have looked like a right weirdo!! Xx

Hi there,

Just a general note here. I was also lucky to get pregnant in the first treatment. I didn't have many symptoms at all during pregnancy (only some heartburn in the last few weeks), but ended up having a lovely baby girl who's now 9 months old.

It's absolutely normal to have all these worries when you are having treatment because it has seemed impossible to get pregnant up until then, but you have to start believe that it can happen (and it has!!) to you too. I think the worries are just a way of protecting ourselves because we don't dare to believe in it until the baby is actually here. But do yourself a favour and try to enjoy how far you have come because the worries will never completely go away even when they are born. You keep checking up on them to see if they are still breathing, etc. etc. :-)

Good luck with it all! Fingers crossed that it will work out just fine :-)

That is exactly how I felt. Even after seeing the tiny heartbeat at 7 weeks I did not believe it was finally happening for us.

After the 12 week ultrasound, when you see the baby and you can finally start telling people, it starts to become more real.

I think the way you feel is very similar to how I did. Just be confident and believe it's really happening. I would suggest that any time you have a negative thoughts write it in a diary then forget it. It feels like you are sharing your problem so you don't dwell on it as much.

Believe! Good luck!

kt_11 profile image
kt_11 in reply to Kempton

Thanks. I do feel a bit better after a successful 7 week scan yesterday but I know there's still a long way to go and like you say, it's hard to believe it might be ok.

Hope all is going well for you x

Kempton profile image
Kempton in reply to kt_11

Thanks. Everything is great so far! I should have said also that I had barely had any symptoms until about week 7. Then it just felt like a bloody awful hangover every day :)

kt_11 profile image
kt_11 in reply to Kempton

Ha yeah I did start developing nausea midway through week 6. It's not really bad but just there most of the time. Not complaining though cos I'll take a bit of nausea if it means I'm pregnant!

I was also lucky to get pregnant on our first round of ICSI and felt exactly the same as you. I couldn't believe we were so lucky and spent every day convinced it would be taken away from us and our luck would run out. It wasn't until I was 15 weeks that I finally started telling people, I was so worried that to tell them sooner I might jinx it (and I'm not normally superstitious!). I'm 17+1 now and the worry is still there - I wish I could tell you that it stops but mine hasn't! But it is much more manageable and better than during those first 12 weeks, which I actually found to be even harder than the 2WW. My 12 week worry wasn't helped by having a bleed one day (which tuned out to be okay). Hopefully you will be spared that! But just take each day as it comes and don't put pressure on yourself to feel happy or excited - that will come eventually once the fear starts to subside! X

kt_11 profile image
kt_11 in reply to London7

Thanks. I did have a small amount of bleeding (more spotting tbh, but still red blood) yesterday on the morning of my scan. I was really worried but then the scan obviously showed things were ok and I've had no bleeding since so hopefully that will continue.

Congratulations on getting to 17 weeks. I remember when you got your BFP, when is just joined this group, and it gave me a bit of hope that it could happen first time so thanks for sharing that! x

London7 profile image
London7 in reply to kt_11

Thanks! And congratulations to you, too! I think spotting and bleeding in early pregnancy is a lot more common than I at least realised before it happened to me and I started quizzing the doctors and reading about it. Doesn't make it less scary when it happens though! I know the wait until the 12 week scan is really tough - I had a pretty stressful time. It did help to plan some fun distracting things. I found I couldn't stop myself worrying, the best I could do was distract myself to stop me worrying, if that makes sense. Movies, breakfast with friends (so they didn't ask why I wasn't drinking!), theatre etc. X

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