Fertility Network UK
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All a bit much

Hi everyone,

So this isn't the post positive post, but does anyone else ever feel a bit overwhelmed by everything. I'm egg donating and have been lucky enough to be matched and now waiting to start the pill before treatment. I think I sound so stupid and ungrateful because everything is going as smoothly and as quickly as it can, and I know a lot of you strong, brave women have been through so much more heartache and stress than me, but sometimes I just feel so overwhelmed by it all. I keep feeling like I want to cry but if someone asked me why I was crying, I'm not sure I could tell them exactly why?! If that makes sense to anyone? I feel like I'm letting myself down and I need to 'man up' so to speak :-( I keep trying to be so positive and look forward and do all I can....but it's exhausting!

Please tell me I'm not the only one who feels like this? And I'm so sorry if this post has annoyed or upset anyone.

10 Replies

If treatment was easy there'd be no need for this forum.

It sounds like you are going through the same thought process as a lot of us have been through/going through.

I found the first round of ICSI a very overwhelming, endless waiting and then once you get started things happen really quickly. I looked at each bit of the treatment as a stage and focused on getting through each stage one step at a time. I had a treatment plan timeline from my clinic and that helped as I could tick each stage off.

Hopefully it will be successful for you and the women you will also help.

Have you been offered counselling? I'm writing a journal (something I never do otherwise) and this seems to help get thoughts out of my head. I've also got good support from my clinic and friends/family but I still have times/days when it's all a bit much, so no need to 'man up', you've recognised your feelings about the massive thing you're doing, give yourself some time to process everything and try to relax and rest when you can (easier said than done I know).

Good luck with your treatment.


Hi pm27, thank you for your kind words. Yesterday was definitely an 'off day' and my brother's GF finds out if shes having a little boy or girl on Friday so think that was getting to me too :-( My friend's and family try to support but sometimes I just think 'how can you know or get it when you haven't been through it?' which then makes me feel mean. Feeling a bit better today and like you said, trying to take each stage at a time. Hope everything is going well with you xxxxx


Yes I have days like this no you're not alone. It's not called an emotional roll a coaster ride for nothing! It's hard process to go through and you've got to go through it with no guarantee of it working that's difficult for any of us. Don't beat yourself up most of the time you cope well give yourself a break :) Plan stuff to do that dose not involve babys/treatment you deserve to have a life too outside this :) Whether it's joining a club do whatever makes you happy. You're important too :) x

That's wot I'm doing I'm getting a plan of wot I want to do to with my life whether I have a baby or not. Sometimes it's easy to lose sight of things going through this it takes over everything. I can identify with wot you're saying.

I'm quite done with it all. All it's done is made me feel stressed and really ill literally been ill for over 3 weeks and it's no way to live. I'm determined to be ok whatever happens. And try to be grateful for wot I have got x

I hope you feel better soon thinking of you and wishing you every success with your treatment X


Hi Jess, thank you for your message. I'm trying to make plans and keep busy, think we all just have those crappy days. I wouldn't say I'm a control freak, but having absolutely no control - I am finding it hard.

Thinking of you too, hope everything is moving forward like you want it to xxxx


Hi Missav, I absolutely have good and bad days. There are days when I get completely overwhelmed and just need to have a good cry! Its not stupid or ungrateful but completely normal. Try not to beat yourself up about it and be kind to yourself.

We're top of the waiting list for IVF and currently waiting on details of our next appointment which will let us know when we start treatment. One of the best things I've done to prepare is seeing a counsellor. I found speaking to someone who understood how I felt to be incredibly beneficial so I would recommend it (if you've not already).

Take care and good luck with your treatment x


Hi Hopeful1982, I saw a Councillor when we had to discuss egg sharing etc but haven't seen one since. I might look into it. Feeling better today, think I just needed an off day, so hard to stay positive all the time.

Hope your treatment starts soon. I am starting the pill mid April to get my cycle synced up with my egg recipient and then it's all go go go (so they're saying at the moment anyway).

Take care xxxx


Hi misssav, glad you're feeling a bit better today. Good and bad days are normal. I had a great chat with a friend on Monday about something that was getting me down and it really helped. I also have an appointment with my counsellor on Saturday. Generally I'm feeling pretty positive and learning to take the rough with the smooth!

That's great that you start so soon. Its only a few weeks but I felt like the weeks before my last appointment dragged in! Good luck with your treatment. I'm always happy to chat if you're having a bad day!

Take care x


You are defo not alone hun. That's for sure. I to felt so overwhelmed with my whole journey until today when I had counselling. I would recommend it. Take care sweetie. ️Xxx

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Hi piglet12, I have had one sessions of counselling but it was just to discuss egg sharing and the impact of that more than anything else. I think I'm going to look into seeing someone again, maybe. Hope everything is going well with you. Lots of love xx


I would defo look into it again hun. And talk more about your cycle and fears. It's worth a shot. I am much ready for our next cycle now after misscarraige. Having some tests done for hub and hep b etc. take care sweetie. Xx


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