Struggling

Hello Everyone

I hope you are all doing well and keeping cosy.

Head a bit all over the place tonight, we failed our second round of ivf a few weeks ago (converted to IUI due to low number of follicles produced). We've both been struggling since; a lovely friend of ours who has her own health issues told us she was expecting again today and wanted to let us know first as she knew of our problems; we were so touched but part of me feels like I've failed and have been feeling depressed recently.

I had stage 4 endo and frozen pelvis diagnosed this time last year and surgery and just don't know what to do. I'm 41. My family are really worried about my health and how another fertility cycle might affect it ; my partner is desperately wanting to be a Dad and is finding it all really difficult but wants us to stay positive and believe it'll happen. We had an awful argument that the weekend and think it was just all the pent up emotions coming out.

We have a review appointment with fertility clinic in a couple of weeks which is good and we can hopefully have a proper talk about what our options are. I'm scared though of what will happen even if we do ever become pregnant - as well as well as endo there are cysts on each ovary, a fibroid and possible Hydrosalpinx. I would have another surgery if I thought it would help but I'm not sure it's safe to do so.

Sorry this is a bit jumbled X

8 Replies

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  • Really sorry you're feeling this way. It is such a difficult thing to go through I'd imagine your friends news was so hard as your loss is so raw. Maybe a complete break from the whole process is what you need even a holiday or a few days away over new year. Take care xxx

  • Thank you so much Katya, that sounds like a really good idea - Xmas will be a good distraction hopefully and just relaxing away from it all for a while could work wonders πŸ’œ. It's been a rough old year but we will soon be into the new year and hopefully a fresh start X X X

  • Hello

    Definitely don't feel like a failure you are not a failure . The argument will be as you say built up emotion that you have both felt unable to get out of your system .. xx

  • Hey Hun I feel your pain I myself have had a failed ivf cycle this month. Just don't know what's wrong tbh!! I myself suffer from endometriosis and found outr I have another cyst on my right ovary. It's causing me pain everyday and IV made a appointment with my GP to see what can be done. I don't want another operation as iv had 2 already and I'm 29!!! Operations are not good as they lower your egg quality from what I read online. Just confused and in pain. Emotionally and physically x

  • Agree with pp that what you need is a good holiday. When we finally succeeded with Ivf we had just got back from holiday....I'm sure the mental side of it has a role to play and it is an incredibly stressful process. Good luck and hope you feel better soon xxx

  • Hi Struggling, so sorry to hear about your turmoil. Please remember you are absolutely NOT a failure! I know if any of us on this board were saying that, you'd tell us we were wrong. You'd say that none of us are failures, we're stronger than other women as we put ourselves through so much...so please please, be kind to yourself.

    On a practical point, it sounds like you have lots and lots of mixed thoughts and questions, and I'm really pleased that your debrief with your clinic is so soon (ours you had to wait 8 weeks at least), so my advice to you is to make sure you get all of your questions answered and explore all of the options available to you. It might even be useful to ask for a referral elsewhere for a second opinion. I had to fight hard with my GP to get that, but it's your right and different clinics have different perspectives about possible causes, treatments etc.

    I truly wish you peace and happiness and a wonderful outcome from whatever comes next.

  • Carrie75, I just wanted to write and say that your story really affected me, even although I still have to start my IVF journey and do not yet know exactly what you have been through. I can only imagine and my heart really goes out to you. What a year you must have had!

    I read something the other day that I thought I'd share with you, because it really resonated with me:

    "Success is not final, failure is not fatal, but it's the courage to continue that ultimately counts."

    Whatever you decide to pursue (or not) in the coming months, I wish you only the best.

    And if I may echo the thoughts of some of the other ladies, take a decent break, do more of what makes you happy and look after yourself x

  • Hello Everyone,

    Thank you so, so much for all your posts πŸ’œ This is really very helpful and much appreciated and I am really grateful to all of you!!

    Today is a new day and our appointment isn't far away...plus you are all very correct in the holiday idea! It's been a rough year ivf aside, but time to look forward whatever happens.

    CountryCat, i love that quote...it really does inspire you to keep going 😘

    NDE1987, look after yourself too and take good care at this time : I'm not sure if you've seen the endometriosis support group here on Health Unlocked, where there's also a link to the Facebook support group too. It's full of really helpful advice in making sure you get the best treatment. (I'm in Scotland where it's a wee bit different.) but I wish you the very best of luck too X

    Wishing you all a really lovely Christmas ahead and all the very best....thank you very much again πŸ’•πŸ’• X X X X

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