New on here....struggling with who to talk to!

My friend recommended this site to me after not really knowing what to say or suggest.

Me and my partner have been trying to conceive for the past 3 years, to no avail. We've both been through the tests, I'm okay, but my partner has been told his sperm has low mobility and so even though it's highly unlikely, we've been told to keep trying naturally!

I'm at the age now where all of my friends are either pregnant or have young babies and it's killing me. Every time someone tells me they are pregnant my heart sinks a bit more. Of course I'm happy for them, I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but it's so hard to see everyone around me overjoyed by becoming parents when we are struggling.

I'm just about to become an auntie for the first time and I'm dreading having to hold it together when I first meet him!

No one really understands around me, people just tell me it'll happen when it happens and it's so hard speaking to people about how it feels when they can't really understand. 😞

16 Replies

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  • welcome Nicola. You're in the right place. I just didn't know where to turn until I found this site. All my friends have children and whilst they make the right ' noises' no one really understands. I'm surprised you've been sent away to keep trying naturally. My advice would be to push things a bit with your Gp. If you're under 35 and been trying for over a year I thought they are supposed to refer you and at over 35 they ask that you TTC naturally for 6 months before seeking help. There's loads of help, advice and support on here or a friendly ear if you just want to rant! All best wishes and hope you can get the breakthrough you deserve soon xx

  • Thank you for your support!

    It's nice to have somewhere that I can speak openly where people do actually understand xx

  • Firstly welcome Nicola, I totally agree with Louiser, we are all here to support, I would be able to add any more info but I would strongly suggest pushing your GP to get the ball rolling. Wishing you all the very best and do not hesitate for a second if you are unsure of anything, we will support and guide as best as we all can ok.

    My wife and I approached our GP in 2015 after TTC for almost 4 years. After a long process of tests after tests and the referral being made for 1st time IVF treatment, we are now continuing our journey (shes 39 this year and is currently 8 weeks pregnant..... we had ICSI). Never give up Nicola, there's alot of sacrificing to make, change of life style, diet, etc but it's all worth it. This group from day one has be amazing.

  • Thank you!

    It's good to hear other people's stories and get some hope back ! 😊

  • Welcome Nicola

    My situation is virtually identical to yours so you are definitely in the right place. We are nearly half way through our second cycle of IVF with iCSI. Please feel free to message if you ever have any questions and this site is great for advice or to just have a moan. πŸ‘πŸΌ

    Xx

  • Thank you so much!

    It's just nice to talk to people who understand. My friends are great but sometimes I just feel like a broken record xx

  • No problem at all 😊

    It is also hard for your friends to relate when they don't fully understand. I find it much easier to talk to people on here who know what you mean and how you feel. Sometimes the way you feel would seem unreasonable to friends, but we are all in the same boat.

    Have you seen any fertility specialists yet?

    Xx

  • No not yet.

    My prolactin levels were quite high at first so they sent me for further testing but they had normalised by the time of my appointment, which they put down to life stressed at the time (buying a house, new job etc)

    At present it's just been a case of keep trying, but we have been talking about pushing our GP again recently for referral into specialists.

    Xx

  • Our GP kept telling us we would fall naturally, even when DH had a semen test with 0% movement. We felt like we were going around in circles and although we got referred to a specialist at our local NHS hospital, the appointments were 7 months apart and that was for initials chats. We paid to see a fertility specialist in London who pretty much told us we wouldn't conceive naturally and our only option would be ICSI IVF. We then took that letter to our GP and pushed for a referral to a fertility clinic which they finally did. Since we have been there our appointments and cycles have been prompt and it's been a completely different experience.

    Once you have done all of the investigating necessary it's worth pushing your GP to refer you to a fertility clinic or specialist as soon as possible.

    Good luck with everything and as I said, feel free to message if you ever want a chat.

    Xx

  • Its definitely time to push the medical profession for some help. If NHS can help great if you can afford private it's so worth it. The difference of how they treat you is amazing. That's money for you!

    With your husbands issues ICSI would be the way to go. We done that after trying for 2 years. No issues with my OH but my age bit if an issue. We had success with ICSI first time and I had my BFP last week!!

    Best of luck and keep posting β™₯xx

  • You are in the right place honey. ..all strong fab ladies and some men too on here. All with fabulous support and advice.what you feel is totally normal and understandable. .be kind to yourself, let yourself feel this way guilt free..infertility sucks and is such a tough journey and nobody can understand unless they have been through it..which I wouldn't wish on anyone. Take care xxxx

  • Welcome Hun! I don't know what I'd do without this group! If uv been trying for 3 years I would definitely be pushing with ur gp to get some help now!!there should b no reason y they won't refer u & it all takes time so better u get the ball rolling'! I was too old for NHS treatment but I'm sure a lot of people on here can advise u! Best of luck xxx

  • Hi Nicola welcome this is a lovely board where you will find lots of like minded people. We are in a similar boat me and my husband have been trying to conceive for three years to no avail... I totally understand what you mean about all your friends being pregnant or having young children aswell. My sister also recently give birth aswell and I was very worried about how I would feel when they baby was born. While being around my nephew makes me want a baby so much more. I have got an incredible amount of love for him and I've suprised myself by actually wanting to be around him and help my sister with all things baby related. I've found it to be quite comforting which shocked me a lot. Hope you find some comfort from being on this forum xxxxx

  • I felt like this when my niece was born too. I was so anxious, but once she was born I just loved her. She's now almost four and is very like me, which is kind of bittersweet, but knowing that my brother and his wife tried for three years before they got pregnant with her, I just feel grateful that at least we have a child in the family, even if she's not mine! πŸ’œ

  • This really is a great forum, the ladies on here have helped me so much. Friends and family try and be supportive however it's very hard for someone to relate to the feelings and desperation we feel with fertility issues ubless they have experienced it. We know what your going through and can relate to how you feel and this is a great place to get things off your chest. It's so hard when everyone round is pregnant or has babies and each time I just have to step back at times and think I don't know what they have been through to get to where they are as this forum just goes to show that there are many problems and many women who are affected with fertility issues. I know its hard to pick yourself up at times and keep trying ill started doing yoga, acupuncture, taking walks and im reading a book on mindfulness to help deal with my emotions and ground myself and be in a better place. Xxx

  • Thank you, I do a bit of meditation and mindfulness myself. Gives a bit of short relief. Xxx

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