Who else gets fed up of hearing this? - Fertility Network UK

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Who else gets fed up of hearing this?

natlfc3009 profile image
22 Replies

So after our chemical was confirmed I've had 3 ppl say this already today and was wondering if it's just the ppl I know...

"Oh i know someonewho's had ivf and they fell pregnant naturally straight after maybe this will happen to you"

Now while i know it can happen ours is due to poor sperm count, motility, and morphology and while he does still have some ok swimmers the drs say its almost impossible for it to happen naturally hence the icsi we are having.

Also the amount of times my friends have offered to carry a baby for me makes me want to defriend them on days like today

Sorry for my rant I feel like I can let it out on here while in the real world it just eats me up inside x

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natlfc3009 profile image
natlfc3009
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22 Replies

I haven't even got to test stage yet and just when i started the treatment my family thought it would be great to let me know if it doesn't work you can get pregnant straight away afterwards!! I honestly think they can't get out of their own heads and have no idea how upsetting it is. I know this because its family and its what they want.

Apologies i think i ended up in a rant!!

I believe if others don't know what to say. Say nothing or if you're not an expert the same applies!!

Oakey80 profile image
Oakey80

Omg I hear ya! I'm luckily pregnant through ivf and have a couple of frosties to use at a later date...however even this morning my dh was saying, maybe we won't need them as I could fall naturally after this pregnancy. Yeah cos we're not really here due to mfi or maybe they will make a miraculous recovery in a couple of years time! xxx

Blondyboo profile image
Blondyboo

oh ive heard this loads of times!! bloody annoying!!!

being told... "it could still happen naturally...I know someone that had 4 rounds of failed IVF then got pregnant naturally..."

My response... "Even if by some miracle one of my OH swimmers gets to my womb you need eggs to make a baby."

Their response "your not in menopause yet ?! you are too young???"

my response "Yes I am. No Im not too young."

Soon shuts them up :)

Yes I have heard this million times. Even when I went to EPU with bleeding in my pregnancy (5th cycle) the kind lady who took my details proceeded to tell my 'her friend' conceived naturally after years of IVF. I have come to the conclusion people really do not understand IVF and the reasons people have it xxx

Cinderella5 profile image
Cinderella5

Oh I get this all the time! I actually do know a couple of the girls that they are talking about but still frustrating when they dont even know the issues behind the infertility. I did actually cry with frustration when two friends on a night out offered to carry a baby for me. I understand they were trying to be kind but they just have no idea how it works and it must all sound so "simple" when in fact its incredibly complicated and the success rates are crap! Anyhoo, I know how this makes you feel.....you just want to scream "ITS NOT THAT EASY......ARRRGGHHH"! Let it out, if anyone gets it then its us!xx

natlfc3009 profile image
natlfc3009

Haha not only me with insensitive friends/family then.. I even had one say while she was drunk oh you can use my husband's sperm arrghhh! Anyway thanks for listening to me venting!

Cinderella5 profile image
Cinderella5 in reply to natlfc3009

Nope definitely not just you! My mother in law suggested that I should "ask my best friend to give us some of her eggs as she obviously doesnt have any problems having her three boys so close together"! Mmmmm thanks for that suggestion....not! We have male factor too although my eggs are done due to my age we reckon, oh and my best friend is older than me. I was thinking but didnt say it.... "have you listened to any of what we've told you"! Its good to vent, we all need to do it sometimes! Ha ha ha xx

NsKaz profile image
NsKaz

Omg I've heard this sooooooo many times! People just don't get it. I even get it from my dh & family. Frustrating - I feel your pain! xxx

Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl

Sadly we've heard this too. OH's motility is not quite what it should be, count is good but volume is poor due to his spinal cord injury yet people still come out with this old chestnut! xx

I agree with the other ladies it comes down to a lack of understanding.

Also really sorry about your chemical Pregnancy I have just had one myself and if you need to talk to someone I'm here to listen.

People used to tell me to RELAX - ,that never worked and would not have treated my endometriosis ( it took us 5 years and 10 months for us to find our reason for infertility. Happily I fell afterwards but lost it) So understand your frustration at people's thoughtless comments xoxo

natlfc3009 profile image
natlfc3009

Thanks everyone it's actually really helped having you lot understand how they make me feel!

I'm only going through IUI but was told to 'enjoy it'. 😲

NsKaz profile image
NsKaz in reply to

Ha me too! A colleague told me to "enjoy" my IVF journey. Well I defy anyone to "enjoy" OHSS and a BFN! Seriously what is wrong with some people!! 🙈🙈

in reply to NsKaz

I know! Easy for someone to say when all they did was have sex and voila! Meanwhile I'm fretting that they won't put the right man's sperm inside me! I just politely said "I'm not sure enjoy is the right word to use".

natlfc3009 profile image
natlfc3009

Omg don't get me started on the comments I've had over "dildo cam" 😡 😂

Aleelilook profile image
Aleelilook

Only today I thought if my mother in law says "you might fall naturally this month" I might throttle her! I've explained so many times that after 5 years of trying and now waiting for our 4th round of IVF, likelihood is pretty slim!!! She also now thinks it's appropriate to check that we are still having sex!!! It makes me so ******* cross!!!! So I totally feel your pain my friend!!!! Xxx

Yip I've heard this from a few people too! Like you I'm in same boat with regards to partners swimmers! When people say "Oh you never know you can still fall pregnant naturally" it irritates me no end! If only they knew how complicated getting pregnant can be! Xxx

yep I hear you - people say it to me all the time. Our infertility is unexplained so they think its ok to just say things like 'oh you could just have more sex' or 'oh I bet you will fall pregnant in between IVF cycles' .... and my favourite 'oh you will be pregnant in no time and then there will be no turning back'.

Its infuriating!

Jhenderson profile image
Jhenderson

Oh my lord. Don't you just want to scream at them. Some people have no idea. Eugh I want to scream for you! Rant away! Xx

ch319 profile image
ch319

Hey I don't want to be another one of those annoying ppl but your situation is fairly similar to mine and I have fallen pregnant naturally. We had both male and female infertility issues and were told our chances of conceiving were low. Had one failed icsi started second round but some how through some miracle we fell pregnant and found out at the end of 2 weeks of down regulation injections. I know these stories can be a kick in the teeth from ppl especially if they haven't experienced the ivf journey and they irriatated me but it can happen xx

natlfc3009 profile image
natlfc3009

Oh I know they can happen I just thought it a bit insensitive today... I really hope it happens for us but with a count of 4 mil and motility and morphology issues too I really do think it would be a miracle x

Blondyboo profile image
Blondyboo

Just to throw another situation in the works.. my friend had a baby and is constantly telling me how hard it is and how she has no idea how difficult it could be looking after a baby. I mean does she really think I want to hear that every time i visit?? She doesnt understand I want the sleepless nights I want the crying all night I want to moan about my own baby!!!

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