Fed up of 'rotten luck'

[Ajtart]

I'm 36 low amh. Husband is 44 with good/excellent quality sperm. Unexplained and TTC for 4 years. 1 bfp 1st round but was a blighted ovum (told we were unlucky). Recently been diagnosed with high nk cells and sticky blood.

Had my 4th egg collection yesterday and they retrieved 5 eggs as expected (3, 8 and 9 eggs collected in previous cycles). I've just had a call from the embryologist who said out of the 5 collected, one wasn't able to fertilise due to maturity. One has double fertilised with 2 sperm, one has half fertilised and one has fertilised normally therefore they're going to go with a 3 day transfer instead of 5 day.

Previously we've had mixed results and managed to transfer 3 blastocysts & 1 morula of different quality on day 5.

She actually said we've have had rotten luck regarding fertilisation this time. I'm just so fed up of being unlucky and in the lowest %.

I feel like giving up. I'm starting steroids and aspirin today for the high nk cells and sticky blood but it's pointless if we don't have a good embryo to transfer.

So sorry to be negative. I know I might be jumping the gun so to speak but I just don't know whether I should give up on my own eggs and try donor eggs. Other days I feel like just giving up completely and spending our money on moving abroad.

Is there anyone who has moved onto donor and can share their story or anyone whose luck seemed to turn on the tide?

[Boo718]

hello I’m so sorry your going through this. The journey is so hard. After a number of rounds we moved on to donor and honestly haven’t looked back. I have low amh and not the best quality eggs. We’ve had rounds were only 1 fertilised. One round were 2 fertilised but the next day they were gone. Rounds where 2 got to day 5 but both were poor quality. And to be honest more rounds that I can’t even remember 🤦‍♀️😂 we decided to go for donor and on our 3rd donor attempt we were successful and I am 18 weeks. If u have any questions just give me a shout. Xxx

[Ajtart in reply to Boo718]

Thanks for your response and I'm so happy that you're finally well on your way in your pregnancy. I'm praying we get to day 3 but I know there's a chance it might not make it. It's always been touch and go whether we'd even make it to transfer. I just feel like the odds are hugely against us. Did you go abroad for the donor egg? X

[Boo718 in reply to Ajtart]

yeh we went to Spain. It was sooo much easier than trying to do it here xxx

[Hidden]

I am so sorry for what you are going through, and I totally hear you. I felt like we were constantly having 'bad luck' and we were always told we were. We started TTC when I was in my late 30's, we got pregnant naturally quickly but had a blighted ovum, were told it was bad luck and we would get pregnant again soon and all would be fine but nothing for years - like you unexplained fertility. We went onto have 6 rounds with our own eggs, all fresh as we never had enough to freeze, sometimes as early as a day 2 transfer as we only had 1 or 2 embryos.. often 'bad luck' because the sperm was funny cos OH had been ill 3 months before or they couldn't get to my right ovary so only harvested half as many etc etc. We had several IVF chemicals, an IVF MC at 9 1/2 weeks and 3 natural MCs/chemicals in total and we just kept being told it was bad luck. I also had sticky blood but blood thinners didn't make a difference. I got to the stage where I decided I needed to reconcile with a life without children and did counselling and read a few books about that as I got to the stage I really believed it just wouldn't happen for me. OH always said no to donor eggs but ironically it was me that struggled with the concept in the end. We ended up being told to go DE by our clinic and went for a second opinion who said the same. 7 years after starting TTC, 7 rounds of IVF later (1st DE round) we are on our 7th pregnancy but this one has made it to 26 weeks and I count my blessings every day and wish I had gone DE years earlier. 7 is hopefully our lucky number. We did DE In the UK for anonymity reasons. Feel free to PM if you have any questions - I know how relentless and depressing it all is but luck can change if you are open to new alternatives xx

[Ajtart in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for sharing your story and it sounds similar to me which is comforting in a way as I feel so alone. I've just had a little cry and snuggled into my dog. I hope this will make it despite all of the odds but I think I need to seriously start considering donor eggs.

It's the unexplained part I struggle to get my head round as I struggle to accept there is no reason to having rubbish eggs 🤯

[Ranchu90]

My lovely lady please don't lose your hopes, you are still young, if AMH is not on your side maybe genetics are. I would say before moving to more radical decision like donor, look into a clinic that is having great embryologists they can change unbelievable your outcome. In UK we had 50-60% fertilization rate, in Spain we had over 90% fertilization rate. Also the right protocol can help you grow quality eggs despite your AMH. You are still getting reasonable number of eggs. My AMH was 35 and I had 6,7 eggs first 2 cycles, until we found the right clinic, doctor, protocol and embryologists and now we have 14 months old twins. Do some researches and only than make the final decision. Miracles do happen! Good luck 🤞

[Ajtart]

Thanks I might consider a Spanish clinic if this doesn't work. It worries me as to how to navigate the scans etc and flights? Also I've just waited 7months to change to this clinic. I'll see what the consultant says after this cycle but thanks for your positive reply! Xx