Trigger warning

[Runner90]

This is a really awful post for me to have to write, but I went for my 7 week scan today and the baby was only measuring 5.5/6 weeks and they couldn’t find a heartbeat. I had my blood checked to confirm it’s not a viable pregnancy but I think I already know the outcome even without the results. But because of Coronavirus restrictions the clinic told me that I can’t have it surgically managed and I have to just wait for it to happen naturally. I really don’t want to do that, I’m so so upset and I can’t understand how I’m even going to function for the next few weeks and I really don’t want to be waiting for it to happen I just need to move on. I guess I’m looking for people who’ve been in the same situation to tell me how long it took for it to happen naturally? So I can kind of prepare myself as much as possible

[Jenjen84]

I’m so sorry your going through this, it truly is the worst feeling ever and my heart goes out to you and your partner ❤️

I had an MMC and let it happen naturally and I think it took a few days after coming off meds for it to start and then it was all over within around 10 days. I had to have 3 scans just to ensure I had passed all of it. I also had to take a couple of pregnancy tests to see the lines fade (which was horrible) to ensure I had passed it all as well.

Although at the time it felt like a cruel blow to go through it, I’m glad I let my body deal with it naturally as it gave me time to process it all but I do understand wanting to get through it as soon as possible.

Sending lots of love to you xxx

[Florencenightingale]

I'm so sorry for your situation. Have they gave you pessaries to help it along or literally done nothing?

I started bleeding very light on the tuesday afternoon, before even having a scan, should have been 10 weeks, scanned the thur and measuring at 6 weeks. It was the sunday evening before it all started coming on. I dont mean to scare you but it wasnt very nice at all and felt like I was having contractions then a bleed (very large clots) then more contractions and more bleeds. It had stopped by late night. I'm not sure of anyone elses stories but I dont want you to go into it not knowing what might happen like me, because that was the worst bit for me. I thought it would be the size of the actual sac. I was so wrong.

I hope it's over quickly for you and you've got some support at home. Feel free to message me if you need anything ❤ xxx

[Runner90 in reply to Florencenightingale]

Thank you. Google tells me it’s quite painful and my specialist said I can go to emergency if it starts and I can’t handle the pain but I’d really rather just have a d&c then it be over with. I also have a toddler so logically having to self manage it while caring for her just seems really overwhelming.

He told me public hospitals can give medication but didn’t give me any and was vague about it, and I feel like I couldn’t really process the information he was giving me anyway because I was too upset and my husband wasn’t there with me.

[Florencenightingale in reply to Runner90]

Aww that's awful. My friends MC was really mismanaged and she ended up with retained products for weeks. Did you see a private doctor? Your GP should be able to refer you to a surgical unit in your local.hospital to give you the medication otherwise it could take weeks. When it was me I just wanted it over with so I could move on.

I really hope you get sorted quickly xxx

[Runner90 in reply to Florencenightingale]

My scan was through the ivf clinic because they always do the early scan then release you once it’s ok, so I haven’t seen a gp, but I know elective surgical procedures are canceled here (in Australia ) because of corona so I think that’s why he said I could just go to the hospital, but I don’t know if they’d even see me given how busy they are.

[Florencenightingale in reply to Runner90]

I'm not sure of the restrictions on womens health during Corona, especially in Oz. Wishing you a speedy recovery xx

[Hidden in reply to Florencenightingale]

Oh lovely I'm so sorry to read this. I must have seemed to heartless yesterday with my message. Thinking of you xx

[KiboXX]

Hi runner90,

I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this 😢

I had a natural miscarriage just before 6 weeks and I had really bad cramps for a day or two with bleeding, not constantly but in waves and then I passed the tissue and everything stopped after. I spotted for a few more days but once the bleeding stopped I did a test which was negative.

Sending you so much love and support. If you need to talk, I’m always here xxxx

[Dani9]

I'm so sorry. I'm 5 weeks, started to miscarry, been told the same thing. It's so hard, some days are too much..

[Hidden in reply to Dani9]

I’m so sorry Dani 💔I know your pain 💔

[Tiddly1984]

My heart goes out to you all going through this 😔 x

[Afrohair]

Hiya I was a lot further on than you but my cousin was 8 weeks and said it was over very quickly baby was not even developed as far as mine at 12.5 week so I guess you may not even notice yours and it shouldn’t take too long to pass hope this helps and I’m so sorry for your loss x

[HollyT7]

Hey, we had an early loss, maybe around 6 or 7 weeks it started to happen, I had no cramps, just like heavy period bleeding for a day or so with clots. It made me feel sick everytime I went to the toilet as I just wanted it all gone and out so we could focus on the future. I hope that you have an easy (as it can be) and time with this and you are able to focus on the future xxx ❤️💖✨

[Shelleybean]

Hi, I was almost 9 weeks when had a natural mc (following a mmc suspected at the viability scan and then confirmed the week after). Baby was measuring around 6 weeks and to hopefully reassure you it was similar to just a very heavy period, back and tummy ache, with some additional large clots passed into the toilet. I just had one scan afterwards to confirm all clear.

I’m so sorry this is happening to you. If you’re finding it very mentally distressing then I think you’d have a good case to phone your clinic and explain that, as it feels highly unethical to me that women’s choices are being taken away, even in the current situation. Take care and be kind to yourself 💕💕 xx

[Runner90 in reply to Shelleybean]

Thank you, I think I’m going to try and argue that the impact of waiting is going to be too much on my mental health, because it is, I can’t comprehend how I’m going to handle actually going through the miscarriage given how upset I am now.

[Cinderella5]

Im so sorry to hear of your loss. I had a spontaneous loss at around 6wks but my story is a bit unusual so wanted to let you hear mine. I started off with minor period cramps and a bit of spotting in the afternoon. However my pain increased on and off for the rest of the day and by evening around 9pm I went for a shower as I was really having quite bad cramps like contractions and wanted to have a good old cry as I suspected that I was losing the baby. These cramps were really intense now but did settle down and my bleeding had gotten a little heavier too. I went off to bed and passed a clot in the loo just before I got into bed. The bleeding settled after this and was just spotting again which died off in the next day or so. I had a scan to check if I was still pregnant and I wasnt of course but unusually I hadnt shed my lining and I didnt have anymore bleeding until I got my next period. Have you spoken to your early pregnancy clinic? I know that surgical management isnt an option for the risk of infection with the covid-19 situation but you should still be able to get medical management (tablets) to take at home if nothing happens on its own? Massive hugs to you at this awful time.xxx

[Hidden]

Hello my darling, I am so so sorry for your loss 💔I have just been where you are now, only I was further along with the pregnancy so last week I had surgical management. I know what you’re feeling hun 💔I wish I could help you somehow but I know that there’s nothing I can say that can make you feel better 💔what happened is terribly unfair 💔and it’s so hard to understand or accept. Because your baby stopped growing while still small, a natural miscarriage will be more emotionally painful than physical, although I know it’s no consolation. 💔Paracetamol helps ease the pain, look after yourself and give yourself LOVE, you need it. I’m here for you 💋💋💋💋💋💋

[Kurstx]

I’m so sorry for your loss 💔 I’ve also just been through a mmc baby stopped developing at 7 weeks it’s heartbreaking thinking of you and sending you lots of ❤️ during this hard time. Xxx

[LCharlton]

I'm so so sorry. I've just been through this, I was 8 weeks and measuring 6 and there was a heartbeat, but otherwise sounds just like what you're describing. Make sure that right now you get hold of:

- really absorbent sanitary pads, preferably the "overnight" ones

- paracetamol

- ibuprofen

For me, it took about two days after the scan until I started bleeding, initially it was spotting and I just had some mild cramps. The bleeding then got heavier and the cramps kicked into high gear about 36 hours later and I realised the miscarriage was starting. It was very painful but when it's over, the pain is immediately better. For me, it was bad for about 4 hours. I was very lucky that I had two friends who had been through it who could talk me through it over the phone, given that I couldn't get help from NHS 111 and we didn't want to go to A&E as our local hospital is heavily infected.

Immediately you realise things are really kicking off (for me it became pretty clear when the cramps and bleeding really stepped up), take two ibuprofen, then two hours later you can take two paracetamol and two hours after that you can take two ibuprofen again, so you keep staggering them. For additional pain relief you can either get into a hot bath or use a hot water bottle - I started out in a hot bath and then when my painkillers kicked in a little I went and lay on the sofa with a hot water bottle. My husband and I watched dumb TV shows to try and take my mind off the pain. If you do lie on the sofa, put a towel under you even with the extra-absorbent sanitary pads. Know that you can get through it, so many women have made it through and come out the other side able to tell the tale. If you do have any friends who've been through it who will talk to you on the phone, I found that really really comforting. Wishing you all the very best and I know you can do this xxxx

[Hidden]

Hi

Similar situation. Nearly ten days but no sign of bleeding. Feel like a heavy stone on my stomach that's all. Have a hospital scan next week.

[Jessy1280]

Can you have medical management instead? (tablets), that's what I had as I was too frightened to have d&c. It's very painful but over much quicker than naturally. Sending love x

[ttcemmie]

Oh my love. I'm really really sorry to hear this; this is really sad news. Thinking of you and feel for you in this sad time. Can your clinic offer you medical management to do at home if you don't want to just wait for it to happen? xxxx

[Runner90]

Thank you so much for your replies everyone, it’s such an awful situation to be in and I’m so sorry so many of you have been through it as well. I think once I have the blood results to confirm my hcg has dropped I’m going to just turn up at the hospital and say I need something done, I really don’t think I can go through managing it at home, partly because of the waiting but I really don’t want to have to pass the tissue and see it. I know it’s only small and I know so many people have done it but I really don’t think I can. I’ve already been incredibly anxious prior to the scan so I don’t think my mental health has been doing very well and managing at home just seems like too much.

I had cramping about a week ago, then again a few days ago that was quite painful but it didn’t last long and I never had any bleeding, but since then I’ve had nothing so I’m not really sure what’s happening.

[Picalilli99 in reply to Runner90]

I’m so so sorry you are going through this. It is absolutely heartbreaking. Whatever you decide to do, I just wanted to send love and hugs. The whole IVF process really takes its toll on our mental health, then MMC are just a complete headfu%*k. We are here for support any time if you need it lovely, you are not alone xxxx