Tonight one of my best friends is having a very small 'leaving do' as she's going to work abroad and tbh I'm DREADING it, 2 of her work friends have recently had babies and are bringing them well 1s bringing theirs for an hr then her mums collecting him so she can drunk. Her SIL is also heavily pregnant. I was speaking to her last night asking what people were wearing and she started saying a few people including 1 of the friends above who will be wearing whatever she can breast feed her baby in. You know when you get that feeling the whole evening is going to be around babies.
I know I should do what's best for me especially at the moment but she's been such a good friend to me and a massive support through my past cycles that I'd feel like I was really letting her down if I didn't go..
Ah why does infertility have to control everything 😫
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Hi Hun. I know how you feel. Did you read my post about running out of a restaurant a few weeks ago? It's so hard. I absolutely think you need to look after yourself. Could you go a bit later perhaps? I.e. When the babies have gone home. It'd be quite easy to make up an excuse as to why you couldn't get there until later. Alternatively could you explain to your friend that you're finding it really hard today and you'll come but if it gets too much, you'll need to leave.
I'll be around this evening and will keep my phone handy in case you need to talk. When I was at that hen party the other week and they were talking about babies, you guys were a lifeline. I was just sitting there reading your messages of support and it got me through. If you want, pm me and then my phone will buzz with an email alert.
Try not to worry about it during the day. Make the decision that is best for you later on. Sending a big hug. Xxx
Thank you so much for your lovely reply, I saw your post about the restaurant and as you've said it really does help knowing there's people to turn to in tough situations. I think I might text my friend and explain if I need to leave it's nothing to do with her. It's a year this Friday that I miscarried to so I think my emotions are all over the place with everything but already by speaking on here I'm telling myself I won't let the worry consume me all day xx
I agree with MrsC, go later.. but do only what feels right for you xxx
I think mrs c is very wise! I would say try to go. The more of these events you manage, the better you will feel about yourself. But give yourself the 'outs' of maybe arriving late etc as suggested. As you'll see from my previous posts, I went to a baby heavy wedding on the day of my bfn, and taking time out to chat to ladies on here really helped!
You can choose how much you let infertility rule your life... sometimes you have to put your chin up and decide you're not letting it beat you. We are all strong, brave women. We can get through this, one day at a time! Concentrate on your friend who is leaving and make the most of seeing her. Good luck, will be thinking of you!
Thank you, it definitely helps having everyone on here to talk to. Already I feel better that I've got it off my chest and not going to spend all day worrying about going later x
Know how you feel. I'm always torn between wanting things in my life to remain as normal as they can but worrying about how I'll feel/react in social situations when faced with babies/pregnant bellies. I agree - give yourself an out if u can, go later or have another "thing". you "have" to go onto so u can just show your face and leave whenever u need to. Good luck! Will be thinking of u. Let us know how u get on xx
Thank you, definitely it's a hard balance between not letting infertility take over your life and not putting yourself through more emotional torture than your able to deal with. I've text my friend to say I am gona come but if I need to leave and explained why and il be seeing her a lot before she goes to so I'm sure she won't mind if I'm not there long tonight x
Ah this is harder than I thought, I seem to of attracted the pregnant people and babies. One ladies behind me moaning how hard it is being pregnant and the other is sitting with her baby in front of me. I can be feel me desperately trying to not run for the door 😢 xx
It's like a small hall with tables in so everyone's sitting like on top of each other and I seem to have attracted the pregnant lady one side of me and the baby the other xx
Hmm, ok - some options before making your excuses and leaving 1) go to toilet and hope someone's taken your seat by the time you return! 2) change topic of conversation to anything but babies 3) pretend you've seen someone over the other side of the room who you MUST speak to. Failing all of these - make excuses to girl who's party it is and run home! Good luck, thinking of you xx
Thank you for your support. Managed to sneak out thought I'd go toilet before I left and still bump into the pregnant lady - definitely my time to get home for a cuddle with the dogs x
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