***sensitive*** Miscarriage

[Here4ivfinfo]

Today I went to the EPU after having a scan privately on Friday. The sonographer said I was pregnant with twins, both had heartbeats but were very small (too small). Today both have died and I’ve been diagnosed with a miscarriage. I’m having an operation next Monday. I was so hopeful today that things would be okay and I was so convinced that these embryos would be the ones. Never mind 😑. They’ve said to keep taking my progynova but come off all other meds I’m hoping I don’t miscarry naturally because I’ve heard it’s agony. He said I might miscarry anyway. X

[hcs204]

I'm so, so sorry to read this, been thinking about you. Hope you've got lots of support and can take all the time you need to grieve 💔

[Cinderella5]

Awww I'm so sorry for your loss. I really hope the next few days are better than you're expecting. I had 2 early losses, its hard and won't lie, its not nice. I hope you have lots of support nearby.xxx

[Here4ivfinfo in reply to Cinderella5]

Did you have a baby in the end?? Xx

[Cinderella5 in reply to Here4ivfinfo]

I have twin boys now. I had a long slog but I made it.....I hope you do too. Sending huge hugs and lots of love.xxx

[Here4ivfinfo in reply to Cinderella5]

Oh I am so pleased for you!! It gives me hope. I just feel really sorry for the embryos even though they were tiny. It’s not rational but I feel really sad for them x

[Cinderella5 in reply to Here4ivfinfo]

It is absolutley rational. Your hopes and dreams for the future has been squashed....in no way should you not feel devastated. Your feelings are real and allow yourself to grieve, its a really important part of feeling strong enough to go on. I'm glad you feel hope, that's exactly what I'd hoped it would give. You are a warrior and it might take time but you'll fight again.xxx

[Here4ivfinfo in reply to Cinderella5]

I am a warrior, just a very weepy one! xxx

[Cinderella5 in reply to Here4ivfinfo]

Indeed you are💪🏻 the stuff that comes with it is absolutely allowed!! Hugs 😘xx

[Lelo3479]

So so so sorry ❤️💐 I've been routing for you xxx

[CardiGrey]

I’m so sorry. Thinking of you x

[Kate-92]

so sorry to read this - sending so much love & strength 🫶🏼 x

[Glaedy]

I am so sorry for your loss and that you have to go through this 💔 I had to have D&C last year when I was around 8 weeks pregnant. My heart goes to you

[Here4ivfinfo in reply to Glaedy]

Thank you and I’m sorry you went through this too xx

[Twiglet2]

I am so so sorry 😢 I was hoping you would be the exception, please don’t worry about natural misscariage if it does start to happen, I’ve had a few and they are not nice nice but bareable although it can vary but your body knows what to do. Sending you a massive hug 💔 gutted for you xx

[Here4ivfinfo in reply to Twiglet2]

Thank you for your support and for the reassurance xx

[XOXO13]

I’m so sorry to read this update 💔

I’ve had a few myself and I won’t lie, they can be painful but mostly manageable at home with rest and pain medicine.

Sending you lots of love and a big hug. Make sure you take care of yourself over the coming few weeks and don’t lose hope ✨🤍

[Here4ivfinfo in reply to XOXO13]

Thank you. I haven’t lost hope 😅

[WillowPark]

So sorry to read this. I was really hoping they were hanging on and would start to turn a corner for you ❤️ Look after yourself over the next few weeks xx

[Here4ivfinfo in reply to WillowPark]

I was so optimistic 😬😬😬. Thank you for rooting for them xx

[Eggfreezer2015]

Sending big hugs xxx

[Here4ivfinfo in reply to Eggfreezer2015]

Thank you 🙏🏻

[Booda21]

I am so sorry you are going through this. Sending you lots of love 🤍🤍

[Here4ivfinfo in reply to Booda21]

❤️❤️

[Crazycatlady007]

sending you so much love x

[Here4ivfinfo in reply to Crazycatlady007]

Xxx

[Mikki100]

Sorry for your loss. Please take care of yourself physically but also emotionally during this difficult time.

[Here4ivfinfo in reply to Mikki100]

Thank you, I will xxxx

[BlueEyedTabby]

So sorry to hear this. Been thinking of you. I'm glad you're booked in for the operation, I think it's the best way to go from experience. Sending you lots of love and strength xxx

[Here4ivfinfo in reply to BlueEyedTabby]

Thank you xx

[Crie1983]

I’m so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you. X

[Here4ivfinfo in reply to Crie1983]

Thank youxxx

[Nes1005]

Sending so much love and hugs. I’m sorry. It’s tough to keep going but you are strong, all of us here are. ❤️❤️❤️

[Here4ivfinfo in reply to Nes1005]

It’s the most amazing group of strangers I’ve encountered that’s for sure. There are lovely people in the world who endure so much xxx

[Nes1005 in reply to Here4ivfinfo]

It really is and I have found comfort and support here at some really dark times and I’m still doing so and thank goodness for it. Wishing you peace and strength, we are all here for you.❤️❤️❤️

[minny_223]

I’m so sorry to read this. Sending you so much love. Will be thinking of you x

[Here4ivfinfo in reply to minny_223]

Thank you xx

[Prettypenny1]

Devastating 💔 I'm so sorry, sending you lots of strength xxx

[Here4ivfinfo in reply to Prettypenny1]

Thank you xxx

[Anita1216]

I’m so so sorry, the good Lord will comfort you and give you happiness soonest🙏

[Here4ivfinfo in reply to Anita1216]

Thank you 🙏🏻

[M1673402]

so sorry. I had a missed miscarriage at just under 13 weeks last week, started miscarrying naturally and ended up in an and e and surgical management in the end. All I wanted to say was I am so so sorry - there is no emotional pain like it. Tiny or not, they were still your little babies. I’m so sorry. Feel all the feelings, my grief is really coming in waves, painful then like I want to die then just painful again. There’s no rhyme nor reason for these things most of the time, it’s just so so cruel. I’m sorry and sending love x

[Here4ivfinfo in reply to M1673402]

Thank you! I’m so sorry you’re going through this too. It’s my Birthday today and I just feel so sad and people keep messaging me wishing me a happy birthday which is making me even sadder. I also have a call in 25 mins with a potential new client and I look like I’ve been weeping all night. I will have to rein this in and get through this call. Are you feeling in any way better a week along? I want to skip the sad bit and feel hopeful again xx

[M1673402 in reply to Here4ivfinfo]

Oh happy birthday, it ok if you want to forget about it this year though and don’t want to celebrate! Oh my goodness I can’t believe you are working! Are you sure you’re up to it? I was going to go back about mentally I can’t keep it together at the minute, I thought it might help take my mind of it but I think I need a few days just to cry and feel sorry for myself and just to try and come to terms with it all. I was numb the first few days then day 3-4 my hormones seemed to hit and I just cried solidly and felt complete despair. Really I don’t feel much better but I’m trying to be grateful for the things I do have and reach out to all the support services etc as it makes me feel a bit less alone to know so many other people are going through this and that sometimes it is just pure bad luck. I know exactly what you mean, I wish I knew what the future held, it’s the uncertainty that is the worst bit xx

[Here4ivfinfo in reply to M1673402]

Thanks for your support. Can you believe the guy didn’t even show up for the call?! 😂. I thought “as if I am here on my bday whilst having a terrible time and this guy can’t even message to say he’s not coming.” It was just the one call because I had to move it yesterday as I was in hospital. I’ve been shopping today and we are going out for dinner. It’s been good to just get out and act a bit like normal x

[WHeatherW]

I'm so so sorry to read this. Sending lots of love xx

[Here4ivfinfo in reply to WHeatherW]

Thank you x

[MiniMe23]

So sorry to hear this. I was hoping and praying it would all work out for you.

Sending lots of love and strength. And remember anything and everything you feel right now is entirely valid. They were yours and part of you, however brief. Miscarriages aren’t pleasant but they are bearable. Most will say the emotional pain is worse.

Be kind to yourself xx ❤️

[GranolaHippo]

So sorry to read this.

What a sh*tty thing to happen, and the sh*ttiest of timing with your birthday too. I know these things aren't exactly planned, but sometimes the timing is just an extra twist of the knife (ours was finding out that I was pregnant for 4th time on due date of our first, only to have a 4th miscarriage a little while later. obvs not the same, but just wanted to share so you don't feel alone in the unfairness of timing).

I really hope you can spend some time today looking after you and pouring some love into yourself (totally OK to eat and entire Colin the Caterpillar or all the chocolate, or both!).

It sucks so hard, but I promise you will feel whole and OK again. You will even laugh again.

I hope your next birthday is a better one and, if you can't face doing anything nice today, that you give yourself permission to in a few days or weeks time.

And, to echo above, you don't need to be scared of a natural miscarriage -it's not like they show on TV when you're early on. It's similar to a bad period. Stock up on different kinds of pain meds -ibuprofen or naproxen(can buy OTC for period pain) and paracetamol or co-codamol. You can take one kind of the anti-inflammatory ones (ibuprofen or naproxen) alongside one kind of the analgesics (paracetamol or co-codamol) so you have more pain relief. If you don't take them at the same time, but say an hour or 2 apart, you get pretty continuous pain relief.

Hopefully you won't need to know the above, but I think it is reassuring to have the info if you do need it.

I think everyone wishes that you were having a better birthday than you are.xx

[Here4ivfinfo in reply to GranolaHippo]

Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I am scared of a natural miscarriage but this makes me feel less worried if it does start to happen. I didn’t want to go down the natural route as I am going away next week and this way I know it will be fully cleared by then x.

[GranolaHippo in reply to Here4ivfinfo]

That makes total sense! My EPU does MVAs as well as D&Cs and as long as they give you proper pain relief, those are pretty good.

Maybe ask for prophylactic antibiotics, if they don't automatically give them post-surgery, as it'll be easier than trying to source whilst away, if you end up needing them.

Totally natural to be concerned about something unknown and unpleasant, but it generally is unpleasant rather than awful.

Also, if it helps, my 7 week loss stayed put until my surgery a week later, and that was off progesterone.

Really hope you have some lovely time away and feel well enough for a few wines, if you're so inclined.xx

[dbrjmb]

Thinking of you, am so sorry for loss, am so sorry for what you have gone through and what you are going through. As I write this I'm currently bleeding. I had my scan this morning and all looked well. 3 hours later I started bleeding. It stopped temporarily but has now started again. Anyway thinking of you, may you find comfort and peace. Xx

[Here4ivfinfo in reply to dbrjmb]

Thank you for your kind words. Did they identify the cause of your bleeding? I have barely bled at all and know of women who bleed a lot and they are okay. So praying you are okay! Also my embryos were never viewed as normal looking, they were much too small XXX

[dbrjmb in reply to Here4ivfinfo]

Thinking of you today. How are you doing?. So no they don't know why I was bleeding, I have another scan at EPAU tomorrow so we shall see. The bleeding has stopped now. Anyway take care of yourself. Xx

[Here4ivfinfo in reply to dbrjmb]

I'm doing okay. Much better than yesterday. I wish you lots of luck for your scan tomorrow, please feel welcome to update me on the outcome if you remember to (no pressure though!) xxx

[dbrjmb in reply to Here4ivfinfo]

Hi dear, how are holding up today?. I had the scan today, they could see evidence of bleeding but for now they said not to worry. All was good , heartbeat all good. They said sometimes they don't know why bleeding occurs but they said when it happens to give them a ring. Really sorry for what you're going through, may you find comfort and peace. Take care .xx

[Here4ivfinfo in reply to dbrjmb]

I’m doing okay today thanks. I started to bleed again, a little heavier. I don’t want a natural miscarriage as they can go on for a while and I’m hoping to fly next week and am going on a cruise. I know quite a lot of people who have bled in early pregnancy and been fine so hopefully your baby is okay as pictured. I get that blood is the last think you want to see though and it must be so frustrating to not be able to just enjoy a normal anxiety free pregnancy X

[Mellia]

I'm so sorry..that's awful news. I know you were so hopeful and I think as women we bond immediately with our little ones as soon as we find out we are pregnant. I've had two early miscarriages and it's so painful emotionally to deal with it. Sending you hugs and strength. I hope you can surround yourself with people who care about you and can take the time you need (hopefully you don't have to rush back to work.) It may be comforting to know that fetal DNA (whether it's from a miscarriage or live birth) always remains with mom. I read about this a few months ago, and it helped me feel better when I had my two miscarriages to know that part of them will always be with me. Take care of yourself.

[Lana89]

Hi lovely I’m so sorry to see this I was so hoping it would work out ok for you take care of yourself lovely sending you a big hug xxx

[Here4ivfinfo in reply to Lana89]

Thank you xx