Update no 100000

Well, yesterday was our 16 weeks scan in the clinic!

We had a lot of fun I guess that day haha we saw our babies!!!!!! they looked so cute *___* the doctor still cannot tell the gender of both but she said that we can expect boys although she is not 100 percent sure of it. well, I guess we are still waiting. You know that it is always hard to tell till you actually see your kids, sometimes when drs say that it is a boy women deliver girls. and I know that it is ok and perfectly fine for us. you know, we even find it exciting this expectation of gender reveal :)

we met our SM again and we gave her a small present (a Pandora bracelet), I hope she liked it because we had put only 3 small beads... I do not know...

well, she seemed very happy and satisfied I guess, we were laughing all the time she was having her scan (which was indeed no help)

well, everything has ended too quickly and I was so sad to not being able to stay with our surrogate mother longer but she had her train and she had to go.... I am a bit sad but I guess we're going to meet again so there's nothing to worry about except for the babies but I know that she's in the good hands :)

37 Replies

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  • Bethany, it is amazing how you keep on updating, I think that I am not the only one who likes to read such full stories on forums like this!

    Great that you have met your Sm and saw your kids. I am sure that you were the happiest woman on the Earth when you saw your kids on the monitor!

    Keep going hun!

  • Thank you hun!

    I am doing my best to keep up and post here my updates with this small hope that it can help someone. and I am glad you like it too :)

    yes, it is and I was although I am a bit upset that we were not told about the gender of our kids... yet. but as I have said it is even exciting :)

    xxx

  • You are very cute, do you know that? I can feel your happiness through the display of my computer and it is amazing how you are climbing higher and higher, I believe that eventually you will reach the top when your kids are born.

    well, this is normal to not know the gender of your babies as sometimes life makes you wait. maybe a bit later? what did your dr say?

  • what are you saying? haha I am not cute! I am normal and yes I am very happy right now :)

    oh yes, I cannot believe that this is happening, I am sure that this is reality but it feels a lot like a dream.

    she said the same and that maybe we can see better on the next ultrasound that I am going to receive by mail in a month so I am waiting not so patiently. she said that it is possible to know the gender but we should understand all of the circumstances

  • that's really amazing. I can understand how you feel and those confusing thoughts whether it is all a dream is a very common and normal thing when you cannot believe your happiness.

    Well, as I expected, I agree that it can happen or you will have to wait until the very end of the pregnancy but I beg you to not get upset. this is life :)

  • yeah

    I think that youre right

    I just cannot cope with my happiness and it overloads me really but honestly I am fine and with the more time this program is active I am becoming even stronger and stronger. :)

    My SM should be very happy to be pregnant, I was thinking about her and how she is doing and I could not make myself stop thinking about her pregnancy and her overall state of health. I have been reading some articles on how to treat your kids after surrogacy, how to talk to them and stuff. and it's been bothering me lately.

    I am not upset I am just very serious as I know that I should start preparing for the date my kids see the world.

  • Coping with happiness - this is the very new step in your life I assume. Try and post here a thread talking about how you cannot process this overwhelming happiness you now constantly live in. HAHA

    I understand you so well, though. It is amazing how you seem to not be nervous at all! Like, surrogacy itself takes a lot of guts to even start it but seeing you so happy and relaxed.. wow.

    Well, yes, this is the time you should start the preparations. When is your SM's due date?

  • No, of course I am nervous, I just prefer to show my brighter side here. I know that not everyone is a fan of happy posts as not everyone likes reading very sad updates. as we all wish each other happiness sadly it still does not mean that we will all get it as soon as possible. sadly some of us have to undergo a lot of sufferings in order to have it. that's why I think that it's better to share happiness or calmness with others just so they believe in themselves more

    in September I believe, but I am coming to Kiev already in August because she's carrying twins and there's a high chance of her to deliver a bit earlier than doctors say.

  • That's great of you, but is it healthy though to not be completely open about your emotions and showing only one side of your personality. Oh, I do not want to sound rude but you do not have to hide your struggles and try to be a very positive person just because you want to create a nice and cheerful community, life is not only happiness.

    but I think that you are right when saying that sharing your happiness is very important especially for those who're losing their hopes.

    oh in August! Yes, twins, that's a very common for twins to come earlier :D

  • Congratulations on your wonderful news :)

    how do you find your surrogate mother? Did you like her? Where does she live having to take the train to meet you? Are you sure she'll take good care of your little ones?

    Keep us informed xx

  • Thank you!!!

    She is amazing :)

    Oh of course I like her, I love her even! she lives in a small ukrainian city and she has to take a train to go to Kiev to meet me and for the us pics and other stuff. the thing is that my clinic is situated in Ukraine and I actually have to take airplane to fly there and see her and my doctor :)

    I will

    thanks

    xx

  • wow, that's great.. and good you were lucky enough to get good clinic and good woman to carry a baby for you. But what is the reason for your going so far in order to take the program? Is the treatment there good enough? I've head about Ukraine but the information didn't impressed me. I think I would be scared a bit to go there if I had to. And I think I would worry about the surrogate mother. I mean she may not eat proper food, may not behave properly when carring my baby.. she may even be in danger I think....

  • That's not really the best thing to say to someone in this situation - do you realise your comments could really worry/upset Bethany?

    Why would someone in Ukraine not eat proper food - it's not a 3rd world country and why would she be in danger?

  • thank you for your support but I am not that worried though. I fully trust my manager and I know that my lovely SM is in good hands. I do not have issues with my clinic being biotexcom and situating in Ukraine as I do not get what's even wrong with Ukraine...

    yes, exactly, it is a European country and it is even almost in the Eu, I was very surprised when my manager told me that the EU parliament voted for them to be in the Eu and that's a sign that Ukraine is going in the right direction.

  • I find this response to Bethany ridiculous. Any couple going through Surrogacy will have done there homework. This is a support forum and whilst everyone is entitled to their thoughts and opinions I think its best to keep anything potentially negative to yourself.

  • Thank you for your support!

  • Sorry if I hurt someone here. Didn't mean anyhting bad. Just wanted to know a bit more how the surrogate mother is taken care of there. I happened to come through a little upsetting thoughts and wanted to get some firsthand information. Wishing you all the best x

  • It so easy to mis-understand things on this forum; especially in text and a couple of weeks ago I noticed a similar situation when english wasn't a first language and this wasn't known. x

  • oh I see

    sorry to maybe respond to you in a bit of a harsh way previously.

    If you are interested about surrogacy in Ukraine - feel free to ask, I am open for your questions and am ready to answer them :)

    wish you all the best!

  • That's ok. I understand you may have been obused with my words. That's just because of my mood swings sometimes that I say something without thinking carefully. .

    besides I've heard that there's war going on in the country and some people have doubts of travelling there. I know that's quite a big country and the war takes place far on the east. It's a long way from Kyiv but how did you feel about the issue?

  • that's ok! I totally understand you, I was the same before I heard the news from my surrogate that she had her positive test and we're going to be parents. now I am bearing the title of the Intended Mother :)

    Hoping to have my babies late this year.:)

    really? a war? well, I have heard that there is a military conflict in the East of Ukraine but there was not really much to it. Anytime I come to Ukraine I feel really safe and I feel like I am relaxing( even though I am bursting with the emotions every time I see my kids and our SM)

    I do not know much about that

  • Lucky you are not paying any attention to political news. I try not to as well but sometimes it reaches me. That's my husband who passes those news to me from time to time. I'm very glad to hear that information from witnesses. That reduced a lot of my doubts and fears. Thanks x

  • that's great! I understand it as you have no control over those news keep gathering at your front door and eventually, they will reach you.

    you should really think about all of that globally, there are pretty much wars everywhere and from what I have heard in Ukraine there is a conflict but it does not affect pretty much all of the other regions apart from the East of Ukraine. that's it

    at least in Kiev everything is calm and nice :)

  • well, why not? Ukraine is also fine as other options. what? this is really odd to read as Ukraine is now one of the European countries and I do not think that there is something to worry about considering Ukraine. I am sure that the surrogate moms are properly "fed" by the clinic when they come there for a checkup. and there are plenty of places in Kiev where you can buy a lot of healthy food and stuff. and the clinic in Kiev looked pretty fine as I was also worried before starting the program and paying my money.

    why would you be scared? of what???

    I do not think she is in danger, I have my manager who contacts her almost daily and sends me updates. and the time I have met her she looked very healthy and great :)

  • Well I think your so brave and I'd say she is looking after your baby's so well for you and that you would tell if something was wrong wish you all the luck in the world ❤

  • oh I am not that brave but thank you! I think that we all are brave girls here!

    I am sure that she is, she is a very nice person, and her beauty is the biggest proof to my words.

    thank you again!

    Lot of love to you hun ❤

  • I think your updates are great & will be great source of comfort for those looking in to surrogacy as it's not discussed so often! I'm sure ur SM was thrilled with her bracelet-a lovely gesture from u! Exciting times ahead xxx

  • Oh thank you! I really appreciate this, I was thinking that it may cause some harm to those who are struggling but as for me I was very happy to read some happy postings on here :)

    haha I think she was thrilled too, I hope she really liked it. as now we know what to gift her next time :)

    yes!

    xxx

  • Thank you for sharing some updates with us! It makes me so happy to read how your journey is going. We are currently in our second surrogacy journey with the same Ukrainian clinic. We've also had our first scan recently. And well someone might think that it feels less exited. I've also been thinking we'll be calmer this time. But I was wrong! I was very nervous and I barely hold my emotions inside. I was crying out of happiness(again!) when I saw my little baby on the screen. Well those feelings cannot be compared with anything else! I can't wait to go for our scan #2.

    My congratulations on your great news! I hope you'll continue to post your wonderful updates!

  • Thanks for sharing a bit of your story with us too. :)

    this is incredible how many women have received ART treatment or went for surrogacy like I haven't imagined that so many of you would find surrogacy an optimal option. I am used to seeing people with a negative perception of fertility treatment itself and it upsets me and still surprises me when I see so many women commenting here and leaving their stories as examples of successful treatments and programs.

    I am not going to write here you're welcome as there's nothing for you to be thankful about, I am just happy and I am now even happier after seeing your beautiful responses.

  • You're so right. Many people think that surrogacy is something wrong and inappropriate. When I was at the very beginning of my journey, I've read so many hateful comments. Moreover I've got some negative attitudes from people I know, even from friends(now ex-friends). Usually those who judge surrogacy and other infertility treatments have no problems with fertility. They just do not get the point why we need it. They say "how can you even think about surrogacy when there are so many children in shelters!" But they somehow do not have any desire to take kids from there. I think such people are just hypocrites. I’m not telling that adoption is bad. This option is just not for us. But there are many people who choose adoption and it’s great! I think we all have rights to choose what will be the best for us. I'm happy to see so many women here, who chose surrogacy, which changed their life for the best. We should stick together and support each other.

  • I do not get them though

    I think that surrogacy and all of the fertility treatments should be perceived as perfectly fine things. but we live in the world where even such an abortion acceptance is a blessing.

    yes, this is what you should do - you should cut all f the relations between you and those people that do not accept you and your choices. they are wrong here not because they have other opinions but because they do not know how to be good friends and good humans, as only good people leave the space for others to be different.

    agree as if only infertile people should consider adoption...why do not they go for it but choose to have their own kids instead??

    I think of this forum as of a haven. like the best place where we're free to be who we really are and where we are not being judged

  • Happy for you! ^^

    Do you know what you're going to do next?

    Oh, your SM is very lucky with you, it is great that you are treating her that well :) Do you plan to continue contacting her after the end of the program? or is it even possible? what do you think she thinks about it?

    xx

  • Thank you!

    I hope that she is! I really do, I am trying my best to make her pregnancy even better than it is now. It is my duty kind of to make sure that she is doing great bc that basically means that my babies are fine too :)

    Well, I do, but we're not the only ones who are here to decide on it. this is our common decision with our surrogate mother :) but I guess that the chances are high! She is very nice and by all of the signs I think that she wants to stay in touch with us

  • Of course!

    you can judge a person by the way he\she treats his\her SM

    I am impressed although everyone would agree that this is a common sense, but I applaud you :)

    I am a beginner and I am far away from your mindset yet as I am totally afraid of what is going to come and how I am going to react to it

    that's great if you stay in touch though :)

  • :)

    well, I am flattered by your words, it is an honor to be a subject of your praise haha

    why? don't be afraid, read all of the thread here and take as much advice as you can as people here were all the beginners sometime in the past :)

    yes, I think that it would be great if our surrogate mother agrees to it :)

  • :)

    I am glad that you are feeling happy up to this date, I suppose that waiting time kills you, doesn't it? I am learning but I have already gotten so many hopeful and nice replies from all of the users here I am so so so happy to become a part of this forum, it definitely is a nice way to express your won concerns and get advice when you need it.

    why won't she agree though?

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