Why do I do this to myself? - Fertility Network UK

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Why do I do this to myself?


Hi guys

I tested today to recieve a BFN as always but felt even worse once seeing the line. My boobs are soo sore and I just felt different thought maybe !!! Iv been exercising taking my vitamins marking hubby exercise and take vitamins but still nothing.

Don't really know how to feel was jus hoping I got a natural pregnancy and would not have to rely on ivf which is also not a guaranteed procedure.

I honestly feel for all the ladies going through this it is really hard and you don't even want to to take about it because it makes you feel worse and eventually you jus explode.

Apologies for the long rant xxx

Sending lots of love and baby dust to you all

24 Replies

Sounds like you & your husband are doing all you can, life can be really unfair at times! Hang in there.

I understand completely how you're feeling. My husband and I are due to start IVF in Sept/Oct and I have the envelope with all the consent forms still sitting in my kitchen unopened... I'm hanging off wading my way through them just incase a miracle happens whilst we are waiting!

Hope you're ok and sending lots of positivity your way. X

Hi hun

It's awful how much we work our selves up thinking we are pregnant with all symptoms and more. I know what your going through i'm doing same to myself right now thinking this weird flu and, tender boobs is it. Your doing all you can just Try remember stress does cause a lot of negative effects on us and takes over the good hormones we need to conceive. Try relax and not stress over it happening. Easier said than done I know. I hope your OK and just remember you can only keep trying and staying positive limit stress and keep doing what your doing it will happen one day. Sending hugs and baby dust your way xx

Thank you soo much for ur lovely words, it is difficult and I think we blame ourselves but hopefully a miracle will occur for us all we can only hope xxx

Don't thank me hun were all on here for advice and support through our journeys if a little support helps sometimes from those that understand then this forum is doing it's job. Just relax put your feet up and get ready for next cycle and lots of happy vibes. Xx

I think we've all been guilty of doing this when trying naturally, i remember many a time being due to go out around the time of af and saying to my hubby oh I better do a test just incase. I knew it would be negative but would still put myself through it.

Really sorry your feeling like this today though, your doing everything you can on this emotional roller coaster of a journey. Keep positive, I've heard a few stories of miracles happening just before couples starting ivf xx

in reply to E_05

I can relate to what you said I just did a quick round of my local town street and had to stop myself from popping into boots and getting a test iv been waiting for AF to come since I had a loss on the 3rd of this month at 5 weeks. First time I conceived in 2.5 years. So now just thinking every little symptom is the bfp. It's awful we don't half drive ourselves mad. But hopefully be worth it in the long run. Xx

in reply to AllWeNeedIsluv

Ah so sorry to hear about your loss, it definitely is one of those mind battles cause I know there's no point me doing the test but then always think 'what if' I don't and I drink and am pregnant. End up having a total argument with myself lol x

So sorry for your loss. I hope in some way the bfp suggests that it will happen naturally for you. I agree avoid the early pregnancy tests - af is the only think that gives you certainty (although who else gives it a day every month to rule out implantation bleeding?!) xx

Ive felt the same today. I am due to start IVF next month and we really went for it again ttc hoping for a natural pregnancy but today AF showed up, so yet again another month not pregnant and ive been feeling a bit crap like I always do on my first day of my period. You are not alone xx

I am exactly the same today. Af just arrived, one day late to tease me! I actually thought this could be it. We are due to start IVF in Aug so this was our last chance of it happening naturally before starting. Comforting to know I am not alone. Let's keep in touch during ivf xx

That would be good clarab. I have my ivf consult next week so I'm guess ivf will start at the start of my next cycle which is end of this month xx

Our appointment is this Friday. They told me I'd start on cycle day 21 so I'm hoping that means day 21 of this cycle - so 2 weeks on Friday! Will let you know what they say xxx

That's good news. For me I think they might have to give me some meds at the start of my cycle because I have a low egg reserve. I'll find out next week anyway what they plan. Good luck with it all xx

Oh so the short protocol. That might still keep us in sync dates wise. My AMH is low for my age (3.4 at 33) but think I'm still long protocol. They said I probably won't get that many eggs on collection but I am trying not to worry about that cos from everything I've read on here it only takes one and the outcome can never be predicted. I am so hopeful this works, sending positive vibes your way & good luck next week X

Thats interesting - sounds like we are both in a very similar position. It would be interesting to compare ivf plans. I shall keep you informed on what they plan for me xx

So I had appointment yesterday & am going to be on short protocol too with a fairly high dose of drugs . So on the plus side, one more month of trying naturallyAnd also means avoiding the down reg side effects . Good luck next week, think this will be first time there'll be what feels like a positive step if (when) af arrives x

Also, its my birthday on Monday - so yet another year older lol xx

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in reply to Hidden

Hi guys

I'm sorry for your loss sickofpain after 2.5 yrs u got pregnant naturally gives me hope.

I have had all my tests done and have been trying for about 2 years now.

Just hopeing the pressure of ivf brings about a natural pregnancy.

Iv also decided no more peeing on a stick.

It will be what is destined and I have no major control over this.

All the best xx

I know the feeling...

Every month I feel some things, think it might be and then AF shows up and I feel like everything fell apart and it's not going to happen.

Then I come on here and see all the struggles you lovely ladies are going through and think my journey is nowhere near as painful as yours probably is and feel really guilty for being upset over something when we have been trying nowhere near as long as some of you have.

I have to admit I never thought it would be as much of an emotional rollercoaster as it is. I expected the negatives after being on the pill for such as long time but I wasn't ready for and still struggle with the emotional side of it.

Listening to people who are pregnant saying they feel sick, sounds stupid but never in my life have I wanted to feel sick.

I have to constantly believe that one day I and all of us will get our BFPs and will get our dream bundle of joy.

Sorry for the long one but felt a bit better saying it out loud.. 🙈


I'm so sad to hear your news. Take your time xx thinking of you xx

Really sorry negative tests are heartbreaking 💔 Could it be that you tested too soon maybe? Did you test with the first urine of the day ( it has higher concentrations of the hormone HCG). The other things how many days are you past ovulation? The type of test you use can have a bearing on the results too- for early testing you need a super sensitive test that can pick up low amount of HCG in your system. You will needed to have implanted first to be able to detect the HCG ( it might be that it happened later and that's why it is negative). I used a clear blue conception pregnancy test I tested positive and I was 17 days past my LH surge. I had no symptoms at all-it really felt like my period was coming and was really shocked by it!!!! The worry doesn't end with a positive test I hate to say. But The whole time your period isn't here you can have hope. Its such a horrible waiting game but I'd honestly re test in a few days time if period dosent turn up. Good luck xoxo

Aw Hun I really sympathise, I could have wrote this post myself, did an early test yesterday (with a BFN) as had one sided cramp all week (NEVER had that before) sore boobs for over a week, had nausea every afternoon and was actually sick on Wednesday, for my AF to arrive this morning two days early and incredibly heavy for me (sorry TMI). I knew as soon as I opened my eyes this morning with horrendous cramp it was all over for this month, popped to the loo and that confirmed it. Just gutted as you just hope it's going to happen whilst your sat on the waiting list. Mother Nature is bloody cruel, Pms is so close to early pregnancy symptoms, it's all just a bit crap! Had a little cry, cuddles with my fur babies, a couple of glasses of vino for me tonight I think 🍷🍷🍷🍷 x x I hope you feel better soon x x x

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